This is a copy of my 'Legless Blog' in a different location. I had to do this due to problems with some of the search engines either blocking or not seeing my blog and it is a complete log of all of my posts. Although this should be an up-to-date copy, if you want to go to the original 'Legless Blog' please click here - This blog is totally unarchived and contains all of the posts from the legless blog from March 2008, so please be patient when loading it because it is a very large file.

The Legless Fool's Blog - Ian Reed / John McMiken

If anyone wishes to know more about me before reading this blog, then please click HERE

Let it be

Legless Blog - I decided to create this blog page initially after seeing all of the bad publicity given to and constant hounding of my fellow legless celebrity, Heather Mills on many other websites and in the media in general. This page I have created as a place where I can state my own personal opinions openly and share my views and feelings with the Internet World.

This is my legless website, I pay for it and I am the manager, owner/boss/king/emperor and God of it, so 'legless or not', as 'freedom of speech' is still a basic human right in democratic countries where you can view this blog, then I feel that this is somewhere that I can speak my mind without recourse. This is not a commercial page, it is just my own social media page. Nobody has forced any of you to come here and nobody is holding you here, so if you don't agree or like what you are reading here, then please feel free to leave at anytime!

As someone who has exactly the same physical injuries that I have, I find that the constant hounding of Heather Mills by the media is disgusting. I now see how celebrities, legless or not, can never have a normal life, because they never have time to themselves without someone from the media trying to drag up any kind of dirt from what would just be a normal everyday incident to anyone else, but in Heather's case any normal incident gets sensationalised and blown out of all proportion by the media. Heather's physical disability seems to incite them more, and being quite honest, even though I am also legless, if I personally was hounded by the media the way that Heather is, then some of these media personnel would consider being just 'legless' a bonus after the physical injuries that I would inflict upon them. I am thoroughly disgusted at the treatment of Heather, I suppose you could call it a feeling of 'Legless unity', so if any of the media responsible are reading this blog, then in Paul McCartney's own words "Let it be!".

We are both legless!

*If you have visited this site before, please remember to click the 'refresh' button on your browser to update the page being viewed*

------- The Legless Blog -------

04 Sep, 2011: Morning or evening?

For some reason these days I never seem to sleep more than three or four hours at a time but then I get quite tired again after about ten hours of being awake and I have to sleep again for a few more hours. In the land of ZZZZZ

So now my routine is that I sleep after a few beers in the late evening, I wake up in the early hours of the following morning and then I have to sleep again mid-afternoon that day and I generally wake up again in the late afternoon / early evening.

I have got quite used to this routine now, but every time I wake up the first thing that I do is to ask myself if it is morning or evening, because generally I cannot remember when I last went to sleep. what day is it?

Oh well! Such is the hectic life of this legless hermit these days.

Cheers! - Beer is my evening sleep juice More beer less pain!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King of my own bed space!

03 Sep, 2011: Zero Doppler shift – No change!

I haven't posted on here for a while again because I am still fighting daily with the pain in my hip.

It doesn’t seem to matter what I try to do these days, nothing ever seems to change. It is like I no longer have control of events in my life at all and I just have to accept events as they happen. When I had my accident almost two years ago, I thought that with time things would get better and that the physical pain would just be a passing phase in my life. Well I was completely wrong, the pain in my hip is still as evident as ever today and with two year’s experience now, I know that it will still be there tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that, etc., etc. A real pain the leg!

I seem to have hit a point in my life where change is not an option for me. I am living like a hermit now confined to my room/bed most of the time to avoid any extra physical pain caused by unnecessary body movement. The only action that does not cause me any physical pain and gives me a little pleasure is modifying, editing and changing my websites and writing on this blog.

I wish that I could live out what time I have left just doing this, but at the same time I have to be practical. I have to eat, so I do have to move to go shopping for food. I have to pick up my pension so I have to go to the ATM machine sometimes and also my only luxury these days; I have walk to the local shop and buy my beer.

All of the above actions cause me physical pain but I cannot avoid them, is anything ever going to change for me? I don’t think so! I just have to live with it now.

So I appear to be living in a kind of limbo world now. Nothing that I can do is ever going to change this, there is no acceleration, no deceleration and no change to this general status quo. So I just have to accept that I exist in a complete zero Doppler shift, legless state now and that there is nothing that I can possibly do to change it. A real pain the leg!

Oh well! Time to make some food and have a beer, cheers for now!

Cheers! - At least beer helps with the pain More beer less pain!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King of my own space!

14 Aug, 2011: UN - Recognise Palestine as a state!

I don't really understand how Palestine lost it's country status in the first place. My father was a British soldier in the late 1940s and his only overseas posting was in Palestine and it was active service there because they were policing borders. My father received a medal for his tour of duty and on the medal it stated Palestine and the dates that he served there, so the UK obviously recognised Palestine as a country then so how did it get lost? Palestine has always been a country in the same place

The international community were very quick to recognise South Sudan as a new country this year so why has the international community not yet recognised Palestine even though it held country status before?? I know that the US and Israel are against a Palestinian state, so do these two countries rule the UN and the world now??

This Palestinian state recognition is the longest outstanding injustice in the world to date and it is about time that the UN put an end to this injustice! Recognise Palestine as a state!

Cheers for now I'll drink to that!

Cheers! - Do they make beer in Palestine? More beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - If I ruled the world, there'd be major changes!

08 Aug, 2011: Is it in my destiny to be legless?

Sitting having a beer outside the supermarket this evening after doing my weekly shopping and relaxing my leg which was quite painful after walking around the store. A guy that was using a nearby ATM turned to me and said Hi how are you? I then recognised him as a person that used to live in the same apartment block as me a very long time ago and I replied to him that I was generally okay but that I now had problems with another leg injury, which he didn't know about. After explaining to him how I had smashed my right hip two years ago, he then said to me "You don't have very much luck with your legs, do you?"

He left me after a couple of minutes of chatting and I carried on sitting on the bench, drinking my beer and I reflected on his statement and just how true it really was!

Thinking back over my life; in 1956 at the young age of 5 years I developed a problem with my leg that was diagnosed to be Perthe's hip, this was a fairly common disorder with young boys at that time and I spent two years in a hospital being treated for it. When I was eventually checked out of the hospital I was fitted with a caliper on the problem leg and a built-up shoe on the other leg and these I wore for a further two years until I was eventually pronounced by medical examiners as being cured and fit enough to walk on my own two legs again.

After that, I never had any problems with any of my legs again until 1982 when I smashed a disc in my spine whilst carrying out my normal work and moving some large technical equipment for the company that I was working for. The strange thing to me at the time was that the pain from this back injury was felt in my right leg and I was in pain with my leg and I couldn't walk properly. Eventually I had a surgical operation called a discectomy and laminectomy where they removed this disc and fused my spine together and with a lot of exercise over a period of three months following the operation I was soon walking around normal again.

I had no further problems with any of my legs until my serious motoring accident in May 2001 when I had my left leg amputated below the knee. This caused me problems for most of that year until I was eventually fitted with a prosthetic leg by the Prostheses Foundation of Thailand in December of 2001.

For the next eight years my legs never really gave me any problems, the prosthesis on my left leg worked fine and to see me walking down the street, anyone who didn't know me would think that I didn't have any problems with any of my legs. Then in September 2009 I was just returning to my room late one evening and the foot on my prosthesis twisted through 90 degrees and I tripped over it and fell very heavily onto my right hip. The pain from this fall was far greater than anything that I had ever felt before and even though I was only 30 metres from my room when it happened, it took me more than two hours to crawl that distance due to the pain that I was experiencing. I eventually had my hip replaced in a Thai hospital, but the difference with this injury compared to the others before, is that this pain has never noticeably receded.

So when my friend said to me "You don't have very much luck with your legs, do you?" I think that he was very correct after looking back at my life and it makes me wonder if there really is such a thing as fate? and if so, is it in my destiny to be legless? Legless for life

Cheers for now Legless and disabled!

Cheers! - Another pint of painkiller please! More beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Long drink the legless King!

06 Aug, 2011: HRH. Earl Prof. Rev. Dr. Ian Reed FBE. Esq.!

I am still receiving hundreds of scams each day and I am still playing with them. What never ceases to amaze me with these scammers is that they think that all people are impressed by titles and maybe some people are, but not quite as many as they think.

Most of the scammers on the internet these days are still mainly Africans and Asians even though they do operate out of many different countries now. It is still their own cultural backgrounds that leads them to believe that titles impress people.

I could have used many other titles in my heading such as; King, Prince, Chief, etc., but that would be a bit over the top even for me.

These titles may be ten for a penny in African nations but they don’t really mean anything in the Western world. What these scammers don’t understand is that respect is earned in our societies and not something that is automatically given just because of some given title. Scamming idiots

Just today I received scams from three doctors, two professors and one reverend, oh I almost forgot, I received one from a so-called senior diplomat too. It does make me laugh though and anything that can put a smile on my face is a plus these days, so I shall carry on playing with all of these upper class senior scammers just for the fun of it.

Cheers for now Give them the clap!

HRH. Earl Prof. Rev. Dr. Ian Reed FBE. Esq.

Cheers! - One pint of Royal Stout please! More beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Long drink the King!

02 Aug, 2011: Still drunk and The eyes have it !

I am sixty years old today and I would love to give people the benefit of my many years of experience in life. I openly admit that I have been manipulated / used myself before and what I am trying to do now is to help other people to understand what drives otherwise normal people to the bad side of life.

Throughout our lives we are occasionally faced with choices which do not seem difficult at the time, but which will eventually come back to haunt you. People are usually quite open-minded and judge any new character that they meet by the way he/she comes across to them in total, initially. This is exactly what I used to do myself until with experience, I started to look at every aspect of new people’s appearance.

Anyone can learn to deceive people by use of facial expressions, body language, etc., etc. But I now know that the one thing that cannot be easily manipulated and used as a tool to deliberately deceive people is the eyes. The eyes really do show the character of the person inside and it is something that cannot be very easily hidden or disguised.

So basically what I am trying to say on here today is; always watch people’s eyes because the eyes will tell you more about a person than many years of intensive investigation and detection ever will.

Unfortunately, learning to read people’s eyes is something that cannot be taught, it can only be learned with experience!

Such is life!

Cheers for now Sixty years young today!

Cheers! - Happy birthday again Ian! More beer for the birthday boy!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Long reign the King!

01 Aug, 2011: Legless by choice tonight!

Today is the start of Ramadan and it is also the start of my seventh decade of existence. What the two have in common today is fasting, during Ramadan muslims do not eat or drink during daylight hours and today I shall be abstaining from alcoholic beverages until the end of daylight hours too, but then I shall be drinking copious amounts of beer followed by Scotch Whisky and soda chasers. Sixty years young today!

At the grand old age of sixty now I think that it is only fair that I treat myself to one night of legless abandon. I shall be hiding it well though, I have decided to put the whisky in an empty beer bottle so that to other people it looks like I am just drinking beer mixed with soda water and also this way it will not attract strangers who think that they can scrounge a free whisky off me.

So all that I have to do daytime is prepare my whisky disguise and make some sandwiches for later.

Cheers! - Happy birthday Ian! More beer for the birthday boy!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - A birthday treat fit for a King!

22 July, 2011: Help! I am being scammed by myself!

I received an email this week supposedly from the British Finance Monitoring Unit advising me that they had cleared millions of dollars due to be paid to me. I knew that it was just another scam but the really strange thing about this email was that it was signed by Ian Reed. I have known for a very long time that some of the scammers have been using my name in their scams, but just how stupid are these people sending this scam to me?

I know that they just scan and collect millions of email addresses from websites on the internet and if I had replied to them using a different name they would have probably sent a copy of my own passport to me to legitimise the name that they are using, so they must have been a little confused with me. Scamming idiots

If you are interested in reading this scam email then please click here

So I suppose that I am now guilty of attempting to scam myself

Cheers for now, Millions of dollars for more beer! I believe in beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King Legless the scammer!

20 July, 2011: Breakfast can be a joke here!

Confined to my small room most of the time now, I also have to do all of my cooking in here. It is quite difficult when I only have an electric water pot and an old electric frying pan that was handed down to me six years ago by Pet and it was even handed down to her by a friend before too. So I just have to make the best meals that I can with what I have got here. Legless Lersi

It is truly amazing what you can do with quite a little when you have to, with my third-hand electric frying pan I can make many things now and because it does have a lid, I can even use it as a makeshift oven at times too. I regularly now turn out things that I really like, like fried rice, curries, thick soups and even one of my all time favourites - cottage pie.

I do have a strange taste when it comes to breakfast though and I do like a Thai dish named ‘Joke’. This is basically a rice porridge and you can buy it virtually anywhere here in packets from almost any local shop, all that you have to do is place the contents of the packet in a bowl and just add boiling water. Joke comes in many flavours here but the most common are chicken and pork. You can also crack a fresh egg over the contents before you add the boiling water just to give it a little extra body, I also like to add bits of cooked meat or tuna and extra spices too. When this is eaten with a few pieces of warmed bread it makes for a really excellent breakfast and more importantly for me, it is quite inexpensive too.

Cheers for now, Beer is best with a good meal! I believe in beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Legless Lersi the chef

15 July, 2011: My life as a hermit now

I didn't really choose to become a hermit, I was a bit of a recluse before but after I smashed my right hip a couple of years ago, the pain from the accident and subsequent hip replacement was just too much to bear if I move around a lot. I thought that the pain would get easier with time and it did seem to ease a little over the first six months, but then I started getting odd sharp pains in my hip just moving around on my bed and when I tried to walk the pain was just unbearable Pain every day!

Thinking logically, I decided that I needed to exercise my hip even if it was painful, I thought that my new hip joint would have to wear itself in until it formed a smooth and durable connection. So I started on a vigorous exercise campaign over the next couple of months, it was painful but I did have some paracetomol tablets at hand to help a little. Now 18 months later I am still in the same situation and still in pain, so I have decided to just try and live with it as best as I can.

I have changed my lifestyle completely, I now only walk anywhere when I absolutely must and there is absolutely no alternative. I now spend 23 hours per day in my room and for the other one hour I force myself to walk to my local shop and buy my essentials like beer and cigarettes and have a beer whilst I am there too. I believe in beer!

I have been living like this now for a very long time and I am getting used to it, it may seem strange to anyone else just staying alone and never meeting anyone other than my local shopkeeper, but if it is a choice between staying alone or meeting other people and suffering terrible pain, then there is no choice really!

I have everything that I need in my room, I have my computer, my beer, a TV and I cook my own food in here, but once every couple of weeks I do have to bite the bullet and go to the local supermarket for more provisions and money, but that is something that is a necessity and these shopping trips always lay me up in bed for a few days afterwards. Pain every day!

I have become quite accustomed to my own company now and on the positive side, at least this way I always have someone close by with whom I can carry on an intelligent conversation.

So in conclusion: A hermit's life isn't too bad really providing you are comfortable with your own company and you have an adequate supply of beer at hand. I believe in beer!

Cheers for now, time for a beer! I believe in beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King Legless the hermit

13 July, 2011: That time of the month again

I have been quiet on here for a while now, I have just been laid up in bed waiting for the pain in my hip to miraculously disappear, which of course it didn't! Then the other day I received my monthly bill from my landlord shoved under my door and I realised that I had to go out and get some money soon to pay for my room, I was also running quite low on food. Pain every day!

So I made the effort, I took some paracetomol and I went to my local supermarket on a motorbike taxi. At the ATM machine there I checked my bank balance and my RAF pension had arrived not as much as it used to be, but the exchange rate for pound sterling is not so good these days Pain every day!

After doing my shopping I sat at a bench near the video shop there and they had a Thai TV program on their TV and it was showing a Thai comedian live on stage. This comedian then spent the next 30 minutes taking the piss and generally making jokes about ‘Farang’ and Japanese tourists and a large crowd of Thais gathered around me there all watching and laughing at this.

Why the hell do we care so much about racial prejudice in the UK when no other country does? This is the one thing that we can learn from the Thais, just take the money and take the piss out of the tourists and then laugh about all of the stupid foreigners.

Cheers for now, I have beer money again! I believe in beer!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King Legless the hermit - RAF sponsored!

1 July, 2011: Leopards, spots and money!

I eventually did reply to Noi's email, I decided to test her and see if she was a changed person after spending seven years in the UK. So I did reply to her email and I wrote Actions speak louder than words and then I wrote my bank account details. I never really expected her to give me back any of the thousands of pounds sterling

that she has had from me, but I just wanted to see what she would do and to give her a chance to prove herself to me. Still a greedy bitch!

I received an email back from her telling me that she was in Bangkok now and if I went to see her she would give me some money in my hand. Well this proved absolutely nothing to me and my leg was hurting bad so I was definitely not going out to meet her. Had she put some money in my bank account I would have been obliged to go and see her but this way from previous experience I did not believe her and it wasn't worth the physical pain involved for me. So I replied to her and told her that I was in too much pain to go and meet her. Pain every day!

Noi replied to my email and said that she was leaving to go to stay with her family in the North East of Thailand the next day and she asked me to go with her, still no money in my bank and so I told her that I was in too much pain to travel anywhere, which I was. Had she put some money in the bank for me though I would have gladly dealt with the pain and gone to see her, but now she was just showing me how truly uncaring and unfeeling a person she is and living in the UK had not changed that one bit, she is still the same as before the only thing in life that is important to her is money! Still a greedy bitch!

As they say; A leopard cannot change it's spots! Give me money!

Cheers for now, The Legless Fool I believe!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King Legless - nothing changes!

28 June, 2011: Happy Birthday to Cheryl and Ann!

Today is the birthday of the two people that I miss the most, My daughter Cheryl Elaine Arnold (Nee Reed) and my sister Ann Bolton (Nee Reed). The last time that I saw both of them was when I was last in the UK in 2005, at that time they both lived in St Helens, Merseyside, England, but since then they have both moved houses and my search for them on the internet has been fruitless. My family!

If anyone reading this blog knows either of them, then I would be very pleased if you could send me an email and let me know their new home addresses, email address and / or telephone numbers. The Reeds!

Cheers for now, The Legless Fool From Thailand

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Happy birthday from King Legless!

28 June, 2011: The whore returns!

I received an email on Sunday from Noi, the girl that ruined my life and she said that she was returning to Thailand for a while. To read this email please go to my website about this at: http://legless.expostfacto.co.uk/reedasia/Jezebel.htm

I am definitely not going to reply to her email this time, the only time that I would ever like to see her again would be to visit her when she is a human vegetable in an intensive care ward in a hospital somewhere, hopelessly disfigured and in severe pain. Human garbage!

Cheers for now, The Legless Fool Always legless

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King Legless, no longer a fool!

26 June, 2011: Politics and alcohol

I finally worked myself up psychologically today and after taking a couple of paracetamol tablets, I set off for my local supermarket to replenish my food stocks and I also had to go to the ATM machine there to replenish my dwindling pocket money. It is quite a long walk for me around the large supermarket and my hip was really giving me some grief by the time I reached the checkout counter. I had bought quite a lot of things because I had been living on reserves for the last few days trying to put off the inevitable pain of having to come shopping. I need some food!

After checking most of my goods through the girl at the counter cashed up and asked me for the money, but I then pointed out to her that she had not yet checked through my 3 cans of beer, she then told me in Thai that I couldn’t buy beer today because of the elections it is not allowed, at that point I pretended not to understand and I just spoke in English to her demanding my beers. The girl then called someone else over who could speak English and she told me that I could not buy beer today because of the elections, so I said that I am not Thai, I am not voting, my leg hurts and I just want my beer! By then quite a large crowd had gathered watching this incident, I was then told that they could not sell beer to anyone today, so I just said fine! If I can’t have the beer then I am not taking or paying for any of the other goods that had already been checked through. I knew that this would cause them problems, but now I just wanted to make a point. I want my beer!

After a couple of minutes I decided that I had made my point and so I just paid for my goods and left without the beer. I really could have done with the beer then, my hip was hurting and I had to sit down outside and pack my bag. This law in Thailand about not selling alcohol for two days over an election is really stupid, if a government in any civilised country tried to make a similar law about alcohol at election time they would never get re-elected ever again and that is only if anyone actually went out to vote after being faced with such a ridiculous law. What a shit law1

I don’t know about Thailand being a third world country, with idiotic laws such as this Thailand is acting like a thirty-third world country. What a shit law1

Cheers! I have a beer now! beer helps!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Vote for King Legless, the sovereign of beer connoisseurs!

25 June, 2011: Ian Reed internet identity theft

I received an unusual email a couple of days ago, a holiday villa in Italy was asking me about a booking that I had made there. Well I have certainly not made any booking anywhere but the email that I received from this villa had a copy of one of my old passports attached to it, so somebody is obviously using my identity and it can only be one of the many scammers that I have been in contact with in the past. Internet scam

After a couple of emails back and forth we established that this was definitely not me and the villa manager only found me because of my high profile on the internet. The person that was pretending to be me was using the email address of: ianreed07@live.co.uk perhaps we should all send him an email asking for money! I could do with some money

If you don't have a high profile on the internet then be careful just who you send a copy of your passport/ID to. The whole story about this incident I have put on a new webpage and if you would like to read it then please click here!

I really must make an effort and go to the supermarket/ATM machine today, because I am now running out of essentials like beer and money and I do have my trusty new dragon stick now to help me to walk so I can give it a test run. I need a friend

Cheers! The real Ian Reed! beer helps though!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King Ian Reed, that is my name so get your own!

10 June, 2011: Shopping is a pain for me but much easier when helped by a friend and his dragon

Having put it off for a very long time now, I really did have to go out today I didn't have a choice, I was out of money and I was also out of food. Today is the day that my pension goes into my bank and I had to pay my room and I also had to buy something to eat, I did still have some beer left in my fridge but you cannot live on beer alone unfortunately. So having built myself up to it psychologically and also after taking a few paracetamol, I eventually headed for the supermarket on a motorbike taxi. My money was in the bank as expected and so I did my shopping but my leg was really giving me grief today and when I had checked everything out at the cash register I headed for my usual bench outside and I then sat down and I had a much needed beer. My medicine!

After my beer I got a taxi back to my apartment block, I dropped my shopping in my room and then I went to the office to pay my room rent. I was really in pain by the time I got to the office and my landlord could see my discomfort, he asked me what the problem was and I told him that it was just my hip playing me up as usual. He then said to me 'why don't you get yourself a wheelchair', I replied to him that I didn't need a wheelchair what I really needed more than anything else was a walking stick but I didn't know where to get one. At this point my landlord got up from his chair, he then reached behind one of his cabinets and pulled out a walking stick, this he gave to me and said 'Well. you have one now!' I couldn't believe this at first, I am so unused to anyone in this country being kind to me so I said to him 'are you really sure that I can have this? and he replied to me and said that I may have to adjust the height of it, but that surely it was mine now! I then thanked him profusely and I left his office trying out my new walking stick and it really did help me. Stiil legless!

I then went for a beer at my local shop and I started taking a close look at my new, free acquisition, the walking stick was made of aluminium and it had an adjustable height button and notches which I set correctly to my height, I then noticed that it had a label on it and it just said 'Cathay Dragon', at this I smiled and I thought 'Well, my new dragon now goes everywhere with me!'. Dragon rider!

Cheers! Legless dragon rider! beer helps though!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King dragon rider!

02 June, 2011: Bedridden now but still playing with scammers!

I haven't mentioned them on here for a long time, but I am still playing with internet scammers. I haven't written about them because they have just been the same old scams each day with just a few minor changes. The latest scam that I received however has a completely new MO. This one informs you that you are a named beneficiary in a will, but you are not the main beneficiary, you are just one on a long list of beneficiaries along with the deceased's close family and others.

This new scam is obviously aimed at people who are already familiar with the general run-of-the-mill scams and hopes to catch you off balance with a new twist. You are sent a copy of the will and asked to contact the probate registry to obtain a probate order to allow them to pay you. This is where the advance fee fraud comes in, I was then asked to pay £590 to obtain this probate order, obviously this amount can change at will and to send the money via Western Union to a person in the UK.

The scammers love to be paid by Western Union because there is no proof of place of residence rquired, just an ID card with their name on it, the name of the sender, the transaction number (MTCN) and the correct answer to a security question that they get from you. Remember that at the same time that they have you on this scam they also have thousands of others too so maybe you can understand just how much money these scammers can make from just a few fools, but not from this one! The scam hunter!

You can take a look at the fake will that they used in this scam by clicking HERE

Cheers! Here's to receiving a real will! beer helps though!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - King scam catcher!

31 May, 2011: Corruption makes the world go round!

Nothing much to talk about for a while now I am still alive, unfortunately, but nothing much worth talking about has happened to me personally for a while. Even the international news is becoming quite uninteresting now, we still have the Arab uprisings and the dictators in these countries shooting their citizens daily, but nobody in the international community seems to care or be doing anything to help them anyway. Probably because a few of the major world leaders are facing re-election within the coming year and that is much more important to them much more than just a few, fairly insignificant, rag heads getting killed each day. They don't pay my wages?!

This is definitely the case in the US, 'We can't help the Palestinians against the openly aggressive Israelis because we have an election coming up soon and the pro-Israeli lobby counts for a lot of votes whilst the pro-Palestinian lobby is just chicken feed'. The Palestinian holocaust!

So other than the above, the only other major news item at the moment seems to be about corruption in FIFA, so what? Why should FIFA be different to international politicians, after all; corruption makes the world go round and knows no sovereign borders. My salary is not enough!

On a personal note now; I am still virtually bedridden with pain at the moment but my pain threshold is growing thanks to my daily intake of beer.

Cheers! Here's to increasing the pain threshold! beer definitely helps!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Keeping the beer flowing!

27 May, 2011: G8 - The UK in trouble or just a French cock up?

Watching the TV today the news was mainly dominated by the G8 Summit, I listened to the agenda and I was relatively interested but something out of the ordinary caught my eye. The pictures of the outside of the venue had all of the G8 flags flying but the UK Union Jack was flying upside down. I thought that maybe I was wrong and that I had squinted or something, but later when I saw the same shot again the flag was definitely upside down. Why do that with our flag?

The UK Union Jack was specifically designed to fly in only one orientation and if it was flown any other way, then that would signal a problem to any knowing observer, so what can we determine from todays showing?

A. That the French people who erected the flag didn't know this. The French don't know!

or!

B. That this was some kind of subtle British signal that all was not right at this meeting. It is all Greek to me!

Whatever the reason, nobody else seemed to notice it because it was not mentioned on the news, so it was obviously nothing of major importance. I am sure about this though!

Cheers! Here's to the Union Jack flying correctly! Rule Britannia!

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Keeping the flag flying!

23 May, 2011: Family links and/or terrorist links?

So President Obama has atopped over in Ireland on his way to Europe. The cover story for this stop is that he had a great, great, great, great, etc. grandfather in some obscure town there and that he wanted to visit it. Well, my great, great, great, great, etc. grandmother was Catherine Parr and yes, I would love to visit her home town someday but I personally do not have the luxury of the taxpayers money to cover the costs of my trip. I would love to visit her birth place!

Family links apart, I am fairly sure that Obama made this stop over in ireland to also confirm his support for the terrorist organisation there the IRA, because America has been financially supporting this terrorist organisation for decades now. So much for the US war on terrorism! The US also openly financially supports the world's largest overt terrorist organisation which is the State of Israel. recognise Palestine!

Because 40% of all Americans have family links to Ireland then maybe they would agree with this sidetrip but do the rest of the US citizens condone this?

It must be nice to have the perks of being a head of state, you never have to fully explain yourself to the people. Just carry out your own agenda

They say that anyone has the chance to become the President of the US, maybe I should try it!

Cheers! Here's to the day when I become President! Beer my only true love

Sir Ian Reed FBE - I would prefer to be King though!

23 May, 2011: Blog housekeeping time!

I noticed that my blog was starting to load slowly again and then I realised that it was getting too big, I hadn't done any archiving of my blog for a long time. So today I decided that the tidying up of my blog had to be done.

Cleaning up my blog is not a painful task for me because I do not have to move around a lot to carry it out. I just wish that tidying up my room was as easy, but with the pain that I am constantly in now this is an impossible task for me and so my room has been gathering dust and empty plastic bags for almost 18 months now, it resembles an indoor rubbish tip with a bed, a computer, a fridge and various jars, bowls and cooking utensils scattered around. Legless and alone!

Nobody ever visits my room so this is not a big problem for me, as the old English saying goes 'I am as happy as a pig in sh*t' here . just an invalid alone now!

My room may look like a tip but I am happy in it!

Cheers! Here's to the day when I am fit enough to clean my room! Beer my only true love

Sir Ian Reed FBE - My Blog housekeeping is done for now!

22 May, 2011: Back on line after Judgement day!

After almost two weeks of being without my internet connection, I finally managed to get back on line again today. The problem was that my WiFi connection (USB Air Card) developed an I/O problem and couldn't be accessed before, but it has now been repaired.

Being virtually housebound now, well 'roombound' is a more accurate term because I do not have a house, I keep giving them away! just a homeless person now!

The internet is my only connection with the outside world now and I do miss it when I cannot connect. Legless and alone!

Well we are all still here! After the much publicised Judgement day and end of the world that was due to take place on the 21st May. I never believed it anyway because it originated from not just one but two points of origin that I know are both highly questionable - Religion and the USA. A legless revelation!

Well, I hope that the end of the world really does come soon because I have certainly had enough of it!

Cheers! Here's to the real end of the world! Beer my only true love

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Back on line and Sovereign of the web again!

08 May, 2011: World legless day!

As I have deemed today to be the World's first official legless day, I think that I should give people a few pointers on what to do today. Firstly, find someone in your neighbourhood who is an amputee and then offer to pay for their beer today, this will not only make them feel like somebody cares about them but it will also allow them to get gracefully legless at someone else's expence. Because having only a stump(s) does not necessarily go hand in hand with having a large bank account (Heather Mills excepted) and I am quite sure that they would enjoy your company too. Legless friends

You can then get them to tell you their story about how they came to be legless and whilst you are sharing stories and beers you can get legless too and see the world from their point of view, just don't fall down too often. Sit down and drink!

So please just spare a little of your time and a few beers today.

Cheers! Here's to all of the legless in the world! Beer my only true love

Sir Ian Reed FBE - I pronounce this day to be known as World Legless Day!

08 May, 2011: The tenth anniversary of the legend (Leg end!) in Thailand

Ten years ago today I was residing in an apartment in Jomtien, Pattaya, Thailand and my live-in partner at that time was a Thai girl named Noi. Noi had completely taken over my heart and life and she was without a doubt, somebody whom I intended to spend the rest of my life with. False hope

07 May, 2011: An interesting week on the world stage! Legless world watch

At last the Palestinians have finally realised that it is better to be united and viewed as a single race of oppressed people, than be divided and seen as differing factions with no mutual goal. Now if the international community would just recognise Palestine and what is left of their land as a sovereign state, then perhaps they could start to develop their country and take care of themselves in a semi-civilised manner even though they would still have to be very wary of the major regional terrorists; the Iraelis! Watch your backs!

Speaking of terrorists; this last week it was reported that the USA after only 10 years had finally tracked down and killed Osama Bin Laden and as unlikely as that may be, the US even claimed to have achieved this without shooting any of their own team members in the process, this is where this story verges on the realm of fiction to me. Impossible!

Then again though, that is what the USA does best; it makes fictional stories/movies to show to the world the wonderful things that Americans are capable of, when in reality they only create these stories/movies about things that they are totally incapable of doing in real life! US BS.

I wonder if anyone will win an Emmy for saying that they were the person that shot Bin Laden? I have no doubt that about 100 million US males will be making that claim over the next few years US BS.

30 Apr, 2011: You have my blessing!

As is usual for me now, I sat through the last few days lying on my bed with my leg off in pain watching my TV and of course the royal wedding in the UK dominated virtually every channel on my TV even here in Thailand! As my seasoned readers on here will know, I am very wary of any females now with very good reason from my personal traumatic experiences. Women, who needs them!

So viewing this ‘wedding of the century’ I was watching Kate Middleton very carefully indeed. Anyone can wear a carefully made up and practiced external facade but what most people cannot do is to maintain that facade indefinitely, especially when a very cynical person such as myself is scrutinising every facial, body movement, expression and eye movement looking for even the very slightest hint of duplicity. I am watching!

So I must say Kate Middleton! Either you are ‘the most skillful actress of the century’ at the ‘wedding of the century’, or you have given this ‘Old British Legless Fool’ a little bit of faith in the female of the human species again, because sincerity and pure unadulterated happiness and love just seemed to ooze from you on your wedding day and now you both have the full blessing of Sir Legless Fool himself.

Yes, this Legless Fool has been fooled many times before and I have no doubt that he can be fooled again when personal emotions are involved in the equation, but I honestly now believe that ‘our William’ has the perfect partner to take the British Monarchy well into the 21st Century. Too good!

So William! Please ignore what this fool wrote on the post on here previously, I was just giving you the general cynical opinion of this Legless Fool’s personal experience with the opposite sex.

Now please prove to me that between you and Kate both, you can show to the world the true value and the absolute necessity and warranted continuation of a trusted and respected Royal Family in Britain.

29 Apr, 2011: The best bar in Thailand, Cheers Kate 'n' William!

My friend Graham from the UK returned to Bangkok yesterday and he arranged to meet me for a drink. He asked me if there was a place that we could meet that was near to me, so that I wouldn't have to travel too far, so I gave him the address of my local here. My local is not your average bar in Thailand, it is just a bench outside of my local supermarket and the beer we buy at the supermarket itself, which is a damn site cheaper than any other bar that I lnow of here!

I think that we did have a very pleasant evening, well I did anyway! Because I have not spoken to anyone for a very long time I think that Graham's ears must have been aching towards the end of the night. Good listener

We did have a lot of beers last night, more than I am used to these days anyway and from my point of view we had quite a good night at my 'Secret Supermarket Bar'. Keep it quiet!

Well! Today is the big day for my distant nephew, Prince William, he is marrying Kate Middleton today despite my advice to him about keeping women around only for the occasional moments of weakness, he has quite obviously been brainwashed by his Grandmother now! Well I can now quite honestly say that I am not the only 'legless fool' around these days! The original legless fool

Make the best of today Will, you will have plenty of time to regret it in the future, NB. beer helps!! Beer my only true love

26 Apr, 2011: Birthdays and memories!

Today is another birthday that is very important to me. Had she lived Phetchomphu (Pet) would have been 34 years old today. She has been dead for more than four years now but she will always have that special place in my heart that no one else can ever fill.

Happy Birthday Phetchomphu!! (Pet)

25 Apr, 2011: Happy birthday to my Easter Bunnies! Easter bunnies Charlotte & Katria

Today is the birthday of my twin daughters in Thailand Charlotte Ploy and Katria Louise Reed.

I know that they are both not used to having me around but I am happy to be in contact with them at this time for their birthday, I hope that they both have a very good day! I love you both

21 Apr, 2011: The latest happenings!

As is becoming quite 'the norm' for me now, again it has been quite a long time since I last posted on here. A lot has happened to me in the last few weeks. Firstly, I actually made an effort and left my room for a night out a few days ago, but I must admit that the physical pain that I am experiencing now does not lend itself to persuading me that it was a good thing to do, even though I did enjoy myself for the first time in a very long time. I went out because an old friend of mine from the UK was here in Thailand, he is not just a friend but the only person that I really know that has actually purchased my book Legless in Thailand named Graham, even though my American publishers still tell me that I have not sold even one copy yet. I could have sold a million for all I know

We had a very good night out from what I remember, I drank more beer than I have done for a very long time and I do actually remember being pushed into a taxi at the end of the night and having taxi fare stuffed into my hand. The actions of a good friend!

With Graham, he being the only person that I know of that has actually read my book, together we had a very good chat about what has been happening in my life in recent years i.e. since the last chapter in my book six years ago and it is still as crazy as ever, my never ending story!

Graham also being a regular follower of this blog, asked me about my situation with the recent connection with my twin daughters in Thailand. I had to admit that the connection has grown very cold, even though I sent them my telephone number and email address many weeks ago they have not contacted me at all. I do miss them!

I do have a lot more to write about the last few weeks, but I think that I shall keep it all for another day.

15 Apr, 2011: All's quiet on the Eastern front!

It is nice and quiet around my apartment block now, all of the Thais have gone back to their provinces for the Songkran festival to go and throw water over each other for a few days who knows why?

I am quite happy here though, I arranged with my local shopkeeper here to supply me with a box of beer before he left and I have lots of food in the fridge, so I don't have to go out shopping. I have lots of work to do on my websites now that I have a good html editor again, so I am working my way through all of my webpages, making changes and trying to correct any mistakes.

For me this time is very relaxing, I live next to a cafe here and usually every night there are lots of noisy people drinking outside my room and getting noisier with every bottle of beer they open, but not for the next few days, I am quite alone here and that is the way that I like it now! No noisy drunken Thais

11 Apr, 2011: Seamonkey to the rescue!

I have been quiet for a few days because I got badly zapped by a virus through email, I checked it with my anti-virus program but it didn't see it. The virus I now know is called is called the 'XP anti-virus virus' and it stops you using any browser because it will not allow the browser to go to any website except the 'XP anti-virus website' where you are advised to enter your credit card details to purhase an anti virus program to clear the problems that it is reporting, just a clever phishing scam virus. My own anti-virus program was useless and I could not get another because I could not connect to any website with any browser. I tried switching off my computer and rebooting again hoping that my anti-virus program would kick in and kill the virus but it was not to be. So here I am legless with my computer but I cannot connect to the internet. no internet access

I then remembered that I have two operating systems on my computer, Windows XP and Windows 2000 so I shut the computer down and rebooted with Windows 2000 it booted okay but then I had to set up my new WiFi connection on the old operating system which I eventually achieved so I tried the web browsers out and they were working okay, what was not okay though was my html editor, for some reason it would not start up at all. I then started to search the web for a free html editor because I do not have the money to buy a new one. After many hours of downloading and trying out many different free html editors I was about to give up because every one that I tried was rubbish and messed many of my webpages about. A waste of time

Then after taking a long rest, smoking many cigarettes and a few beers later I decided to give it another go, so I started searching on the web again and ignoring all of the programs that had caused me problems before until I spotted the name 'Mozilla' on one of the SERPs, this interested me because I know that they make a good web browser so I thought that they would make a good html editor too and their html editor was free also.

So I downloaded their html editor which had the strange name of 'Seamonkey' and I installed it on my computer and after getting myself used to the layout and controls I was very happy because it was easy and logical to use with both WYSIWYG and HTML editing but not only that, Seamonkey is a combined html editor, web browser and ftp controller all in one package, a one-stop excellent website control centre and all free! What a find!

If anyone reading this blog would like to know where to find this program, then just click on the thumbs up pic here:

07 Apr, 2011: The legend of Legless in Thailand

Watching a lot of TV these days being virtually confined to my bed now, many of the entertainment channels on there show popular programmes which are supposed to be based on the 'legend of this, that, or the other'. Having a lot of time to myself these days I do tend to pick up on what I consider to be strange or relatively interesting terminology used on the TV, so Just exactly what is a 'legend'? what legend?

I have in the past considered a legend to be either folk lore, a mythological tale of some super hero or something very similar. But now looking at the make up of the word 'legend', it could be split up into two words 'leg' and 'end' and put together it should logically mean the end of a leg!

Now normally the end of anyone's leg is made up of an ankle and a foot but in my case it is purely a leg end or even a 'legend' because there is absolutely nothing on the end of it, it is just cut off and it is a very simple legend really. But it is all mine!

So being the person who is known on the web and in the literary world as 'Legless in Thailand' I can honestly say that the end of my left leg is most definitely 'the legend of Legless in Thailand'.

Sir Ian Reed FBE - My legend can get a little painful sometimes and I do hate it when the missing foot itches!

Knight of the universal bar stool and the social media army

04 Apr, 2011: A bilateral conspiracy and out of bread!

I received an usual amount of regular email this evening along with the usual spam and scam trash. I don't usually receive many emails that interest me, so today was the exception many of them were from facebook to alert me to new messages and 'friend' requests and they were all from distant relatives of mine in the UK that I have never personally met. When I logged in to Facebook and accepted them as 'friends' I discovered that they were 'Facebook friends' with my estranged twin daughters in Thailand who have also recently contacted me and an alarm bell went off in my head. Is this a conspiracy? Did they make plans about contacting me together? How long have they been friends and has my warped Thai wife got something to do with all of this? what can I do?

Paranoia aside for a minute, I am now running out of bread to eat here and that means that I have to make an effort to leave my room soon and go to the supermarket to buy some. I always put this off until the last possible moment because the physical pain involved with me going out these days is terrible and I usually have to build myself up to it mentally first, so it looks like tomorrow is either going to be a day of pain or a day of starvation. Legless, alone and in pain

All of the above aside, I received an email today from an old friend that I have not seen for twenty years and he found me from one of my bad true stories on the internet 'The Thai whore from hell' so even bad stories have their uses. I think

At least if I time it right when I go to the supermarket, I can buy some beer there to ease the pain for the trip back.

Knight of the universal bar stool - social media army

28 Mar, 2011: A kitchen with a bed Great place!

Being virtually confined to my small room now and unable to move around easily, I have to feed and cook for myself in this small area too. I am quite a good chef and I like to experiment with new tastes, so I keep lots of herbs and spices, I also make many sauces that I keep in bottles and jars around the room. My one refrigerator has quite limited space available and my room is lacking in many pieces of functional furniture so I have many jars and packages scattered all around the room. I only have an electric kettle and an electric frying pan to cook with and they sit on the floor by the bed.

Having my leg off most of the time, I have to be able to reach things from my bed easily and I do my cooking whilst sat on my bed. All of the food preparation is also carried out on my bed and the bed also doubles as my dining area. I have been doing this for more than a year now and this set up has become quite normal for me. I sometimes think that if anyone else saw this room they would get a real shock, but nobody else ever comes in here and if there is ever a knock on the door I just ignore it. Self indulgence

So basically this is my perfect little den now, a kitchen with a bed and quite obviously I have a computer in here too!

25 Mar, 2011: Next a no-fly zone for Gaza?

There has been a lot of world attention and interest in the no-fly zone for Libya, is this genuinely to protect the civilians in Libya or is it just protecting necessary oil fields? There have been major crimes to civilians from air strikes in Gaza for a decade, but nobody seems too worried about them, are they just second-class civilians because they have no oil? Or is it more likely that the major player in NATO, the USA is fine shooting down Arab aircraft that are killing innocent civilians because they are just bad pilots, whilst the Israeli pilots that are killing innocent civilians in Gaza are just defending themselves?

I am sure that this has nothing to do with the fact that the US government is controlled by the pro-Iraeli lobby in America and that they virtually control who gets elected, that is purely coincidental. Self interest

So you want the backing of the Arab league for your no-fly zones? Create a no fly zone for Gaza!

21 Mar, 2011: What drives search engines? I wish I knew

I have been quite happy with most of the popular search engines for a very long time now. Mainly because due to my SEO work my websites generally appear on the first results page for my required keywords. But just lately one of what I considered before was a good search engine has for some reason started to ignore my websites and completely drop them from their results. I used to think that Ask was one of the better search engines, but now I wonder just what determines their results. Ask was always very good for me before, for certain keywords I would not only appear on the first results page, but all six of my websites would appear and obviously I was very happy with this. Then about one month ago when I was checking my keywords with the search engines, I noticed that none of my sites appeared on the first results page and not only that, they did not appear on any page at all. I thought that this was just some glitch and that it would return to normal again soon, but now three weeks later it is still the same, for my main keywords I still appear on the first page of results with Google, Bing, Yahoo, etc., but still no sign anywhere of my websites on Ask. That is when I came to the conclusion that Ask must have some kind of deliberate agenda or bias against me. Even when I search for words that only apply to certain of my websites, Ask still does not return any results that even come close to my sites, so just what is the problem here?

Are they being bribed by a competitor? I doubt it, my websites are not commercial, so just what is the problem here? Do Ask have a problem with their program? Or do they just not like me or my websites anymore what is wrong with them?

Sir Ian Reed FBE - Search engines are like women, can't live with them and can't live without them!

20 Mar, 2011: My latest dilemma! What do I do

So after more than a decade I am now in contact with my twin daughters again, but I am now very disabled and in too much pain to go and physically meet with them and because I am only just surviving on a very small medical pension myself so I do not have sufficient funds to help them financially. Legless, alone and poor

The next problem that I now face is how to convince my twin girls that I am not the bad person in the family. When for 22 years they have only lived with and listened to their mother, they have only met me briefly before and they do not really know me at all. I know that my wife, their mother, will have been filling their heads with lies because that is her character and Thai people in general cannot admit to doing anything wrong themselves because that would make them 'lose face' which is the worst thing that could possibly happen to them.

So I know that for at least two decades now these two young girls will have been told how I was the bad person in the family, how I was the one who just ran away and left them all with no money at all and forgot all about them. When in reality their mother created this situation by stealing all of our money and causing the family to split, but who are these girls going to believe? Someone who has been with them every day of their lives filling their heads with lies and hate mixed with shows of love and affection, or someone who suddenly appears after many years accusing their mother of being the bad person in the family? she is bad!

The very first question that I received from Charlotte in a message a couple of days ago was "Why did you leave us?" I replied to her in an email and told her the truth but do you think that she believe me???

I have made my girls a website each describing true events and I hope that they will see the truth for themselves.

18 Mar, 2011: Another day and another pleasant surprise!

I awoke at a more reasonable hour this morning having slept better last night than I have for a very long time, I am sure that it was the feeling of having a family again that helped me.

After making a cup of tea this morning i switched on my TV to the news channel and they were just reporting that UN resolution 1973 had just been passed which means that a 'No fly zone' is now being enforced over Libya and this came as another pleasant surprise for me, the world has been dithering around for too long over this even though France and the UK have beeen pushing for this for a long time. hopefully now we have the mandate to enforce a 'No Gaddafi zone' over all of Libya and then the Libyans can live in peace.

There were five abstensions in the UN vote on this resolution and the countries that abstained: China, Russia, India, Brazil and Germany have all now gone well down in my estimation now and I shall make a point of avoiding their goods in future because they are all virtually siding with Gaddafi, or empathising with him in my mind. Idiots!

I am pleased that I have found some of my family, I now have a feeling of belonging again.

17 Mar, 2011: St Patrick's day and a very pleasant surprise!

I woke up this morning at a very odd hour, this is quite normal for me now I have no specific fixed times for sleeping or waking up, because I have nowhere to go and nobody to see these days. Legless and alone

I made myself a cup of tea and then sat at my computer, connected to the internet and checked my email. As usual there were dozens of emails so I just quickly scanned through the inbox marking the ones that need to be deleted without reading, this accounts for about 98% of them which are mainly spam and scams. Then one email caught my eye, it was from facebook telling me that someone wanted to be my friend, I had not bothered with facebook for more than three years now, it never really interested me but glancing at the subject line of this email, it stated that Charlotte Ploy Reed wanted to be my friend on facebook and this really made me sit up and take notice! What's this?

You see! Twenty two years ago I was the in-country manager for Ferranti International, Indonesia, my Thai wife gave birth to twin girls at that time and we named them Charlotte Ploy and Katria Louise. But that same year, I discovered that my wife had been stealing all of our savings and my salary and filling up her own private bank account in Thailand. When I confronted my wife about this we had a huge argument and we separated. I then had to go on to Australia on a military contract for Ferranti there and then back to UK to Ferranti HQ.

I took voluntary redundancy from Ferranti in the late 1990s and moved to stay in Thailand, I tried to find my wife to see the children and I eventually found her in Bangkok where she then had a restaurant. After another very heated argument with my wife, she eventually allowed me to take the girls to stay with me for a week and I really enjoyed those few days I had with them. But when I returned the girls to their mother, we had another very heated argument and she said that I could never see the girls again. That was 12 years ago and ten years ago I had my accident and lost my leg and they moved out of the restaurant and I lost touch with them all. I miss them

So when I checked on facebook this morning, I discovered that this Charlotte Ploy Reed that wanted to be my friend was indeed my daughter. I have not seen or been in contact with her for the last 12 years even though I have tried very hard to find them, so this came as a very pleasant surprise to me today, there are even lots of photos of her on facebook too and her twin sister Katria Louise Reed also has a facebook page too. Charlotte and Katria

I have sent messages to them on facebook today and I also found their email addresses and sent them email also giving them my mobile number, so hopefully we can arrange a family reunion soon. My family

16 Mar, 2011: This topsy-turvy world What a mess!

A massive earthquake and subsequent tsunami crippled japan last weekend and just to make matters worse, it has created major problems with Japan's nuclear power systems. I do feel sorry for and I do have empathy for the Japanese people, because from my own personal experiences in life I know what it is like to have your world turned upside-down and then to find out that it doesn't just end with one major catastrophe but the first big problem just seems to start a chain reaction of subsequent events that appear to be never ending. I pity them

Most of us around the world hope that Japan can pull through this with an absolute minimum of loss and effect on their people.

Back to Libya now and the world is still 'faffing about', What is the problem here? Why do people have to have a debate about actions to be taken when a confirmed megalomaniac (Muammar Gaddafi) is totally out of control and murdering innocent people? Do we just ignore this and spend more weeks having debates about more sanctions from the UN whilst thousands more innocent people die? The poor Libyans

As a qualified control systems engineer, if this world was one of my systems I would have some very serious fault finding and preventative maintenance work to do here. Legless systems guru

13 Mar, 2011: More legless in Thailand Legless friends

I received an email yesterday from someone in Thailand who told me that he had an Iraqi friend in Bangkok that had lost his legs in a car bomb in Baghdad and he was looking for good new prostheses here in Thailand. So I gave him the website address of the Thai prostheses foundation, they made my false legs for me. First class

So the amount of legless people in Thailand is growing now and I thought that I was fairly unique.

11 Mar, 2011:Libya - The world still dithering about

How many more Libyans have to die before the world goes to their aid? I can understand the USA dithering, because from relatively recent history they have shown that they are an indecisive country having dithered about for many years before getting involved in two world wars. Second rate

I cannot understand European countries dithering like this though, I thought that they were far more experienced and were more in touch with world affairs. What happened?

I hope for the sake of the poor Libyan people that someone comes to their aid soon. I pity them

04 Mar, 2011:Year of the legless rabbit!

We are well into the Chinese year of the rabbit now and being born in the year of the rabbit myself maybe this year is supposed to have some profound significance for me. I don't know

These are supposed to go in twelve year cycles and I can tell you that the last twelve years have certainly been no picnic for me. Pathetic

Then in 2001 everything changed and whilst recuperating after my accident I could see what a fool I had been for only seeing the good in people. Pathetic

The one thing that has been constant for me over the years though is the calming effect that beer has on me. My true soulmate!

26 Feb, 2011:Libya - Surgical strike needed! Kill the Gaddafis

The talks by the international bodies go on, whilst the dead bodies of innocent people in Libya continue piling up. Pathetic

Gaddafi and his sons in the meantime continue playing a psychological game with their people on TV and in personal appearances with no worries at all, they know that the international community can't do anything effective, they will just continue debates about possible sanctions, the use of more stern words of condemnation, UN resolutions, etc. Pathetic

Whilst what is really needed here is to wipe the smile off the Gaddafi's faces by totally wiping them out with a Military surgical strike. Good move!

But that could only happen if we had a leader in the international community who is willing to carry this action out unilaterally and then answer questions about their action after the fact (Ex Post Facto). Just who?

Unfortunately, we don't have any leader these days who has the foresight or the strength of character to do this. Action is required

22 Feb, 2011:Legless' WiFi World Connected

Having fitted a WiFi modem to my PC now, I can connect to the web just by rolling over in bed again, it is certainly a lot easier than putting my leg on and then straddling a local motorbike taxi to the internet cafe. Good move!

I thought that I was the biggest fool on the web but now an even bigger fool has appeared, he is not just any ordinary fool but a vicious, pathetic piece of garbage who had everything going for him if he only had a brain and a bit of humanity. At least I am a regular fool unlike this world class one, he is the No1 fool Muammar Gaddafi: Useless fool

real Evil! Pathwtic

19 Feb, 2011:Problems in Bahrain, Yemen and Libya now, where next? Just a thought

The Middle East seems to have picked up a 'search for democracy' virus from somewhere, they all seem to be angry in that part of the world at the moment. I am sorry to hear about Bahrain, I liked that place when I lived there many years ago. But as a foreigner you just don't see the problems that the local people have. Pissed off

I have been adding pages to my new legless site over the past few days, this is my controversial subjects site and I have put my views on there about things like politics and religion amongst many other things that I have planned for the future. controversial thoughts

17 Feb, 2011:Is Mubarak still in control in Egypt? Just a thought

Most of the protesters have left Tahrir Square in Egypt now under the illusion that they have won and ousted Mubarak from power, but to me as an outsider it seems that all that has really happened is that Mubarak has made a plan with the military to have them be seen to visibly take control, whilst really he is still ruling by proxy from an unknown location.

The reason that I think this is happening is because, this way the Egyptian people think that they have won, whilst the USA and Israel have really got what they wanted. This whole Mubarak stand down ploy was probably a plan thought up by US and Israeli intelligence agencies to maintain a status quo in the region and to appear to be supporting the people in their uprising. Back in charge

You have to admit it is very strange that we have not heard anything about Mubarak for a while, he is probably giving orders and running the country from a CIA safe house somewhere in the Middle East region. Pissed off

15 Feb, 2011: Much more to come now! My words

At long last I have finally got an internet connection again, which means that I have a lot of repair work to do on my many websites now because I have no more excuses left to put it off. No excuses

Connecting to the internet only using internet cafes has certainly been an experience for me over the last 18 months, but not an experience that I would not like to repeat again in the future. At least now I do not have to face any physical pain when posting my blog and I can sit here naked with my leg off which is something that I cannot do in public, it is very relaxing though. Sorry, I do not have a webcam Back in charge

11 Feb, 2011: Coincidence, fate or pure chance. I Don't know!

Well finally today the Egyptian people have shown that there is still a little semblance of democracy on this planet. They finally got rid of their autocratic regime and if all goes well, they hopefully will now be able to take control of their own future. This has also happened on a very unique date 11,02,2011 (11022011), the numbers in this date may be read both forward and backwards and remain the same. What Next?

The total of unique individual numbers in this date is also very interesting, just three in total and they run in sequence. I obviously have too much time on my hands these days and strange numerical occurences like this really interest me.

This legless fool

has been looking today into the possibility of trying to get my personal computer connected to the web again soon, hopefully I can get myself a WiFi connection and then you will see this site start to take off again just like before. Back in charge

09 Feb, 2011: Where is democracy I Don't know!

There is a lot on the news these days about Egypt, Tunisia and a few other countries where the citizens are peacefully demonstrating because they want democracy in their countries. Well hopefully they may eventually get some form of democracy which may improve their situation, but true democracy is something that they will never get because it does not exist in our world. Pissed off

Communism is also a great idea in theory, but in practice human greed comes into the equation, everyone should be equal but 'I think that I deserve better than you!'

There is not a country in this world at the moment that can claim that they have 'true democracy'. Yes, some countries seem to outwardly exhibit a semblance of true democracy and they would surely argue that they do have it and they can give you thousands of examples to back this up to convince you, but that is just what politicians are good at; presentations, motivation, propaganda, psychology ,sales, etc.

This legless fool

was involved in politics himself a very long time ago and that is when I realised that we are all being conned. To read more about my views on this then click on this text to read about my views on democracy.

04 Feb, 2011: Just another website! Memoir chest

On my last trip to the internet cafe I decided that to keep me more occupied I needed one more website, I have nothing else to do whilst I am virtually bedridden in pain most of the time now Pissed off

I also need a reference whilst I am writing some of my stories and I thought that if I wrote an overview of my life that I could access on the internet complete with names and dates, then it would act as an aid memoir for me anywhere that I had access to the internet and it does give me something to do.

I think that it is quite a good idea and it should keep me occupied for a long time.

30 Jan, 2011: Old planet, new website! Planet of the Gods

One of the few things that I still have an interest in these days is website design and so I am still creating new websites, even though I do not have an internet connection anymore. Pissed off

A few days ago reflecting on things that I have lost over the last ten years or so, one thing that I really miss is my favourite book named 'Gods of the New Millenium'. I last remember seeing it when I still lived with the bitch Noi in Buriram province, it was probably just one of the many things that her family stole from my house there. The facts in this book made a real impression on me and I was always reading and referring to it when I had the time. So thinking about this a few days ago, I decided to create a new website based on the facts in this book which refer to the relatively unknown planet Eridu. I have called this website 'Planet of the Gods' because the inhabitants of this planet have visited the Earth many times before and it was after one of these visits a few thousand years ago that all of our religions here on Earth started to develop.

The new website URL is: http://www.ireedu.co.uk which is really just a play on my own name to sound like Eridu. Ian Reed

I think that if I am still around the next time that Eridu draws near, I shall ask them to let me emigrate there.

23 Jan, 2011: Many Ifs and no Buts! What Next?

With all of the time in the world now to just sit and think and reflect on my life, I can now analyse how all of the bad times in my life (the vast majority of it) came to pass. It may be because of an off-handed answer to a particular question, a chance meeting, a business decision, just being in a particular place at a certain time, a malfunction of equipment, a minor distraction, not paying attention to detail, seeing only what you want to see, naivety, misplaced trust, etc. But the one thing that many of these have in common though, is that they could have been avoided.

Many people like to say to me that 'Everything happens for a reason' but with a lot of time to analyse this now, this is certainly not true in my life. What could possibly be the reason for the physical and mental torture that I have endured over many years now and still endure today? A simple example of this is that now when I need direct access to the internet more than ever before because I cannot move around easily any more, my internet access was cut due to lack of payment because I was in hospital with a fractured hip at the time, and as a foreigner here I cannot get reconnected again due to this completely inadvertent default of one internet payment. So it is with great pain now and only when I feel strong enough to face the pain, that I can gradually make my way to the internet café and post this blog. Just my luck

02 Jan, 2011: Holding back the years! Still going

I still have not had the strength, or lack of pain to travel and upload all of the the new posts on this blog yet, but if you are reading this now then I have finally managed it.

The lack of internet connection to my computer over the last year or so is definitely the one thing that I do miss badly, my only contact with the world outside of my room now is through the cable TV that I have in my room and that is only one-way. Even though I am in Thailand, on my TV I do get Granada / ITV channel from the UK and I know that I am biased, but they are without a doubt the best programs that I can watch on my TV these days. I have a total of 91 channels available on my cable line, but I don't watch very many, most of them are just rubbish for me. Just my luck

I got a very pleasant surprise on ITV tonight, they were showing a special program 'Simply Red - For the last time'. This was the final appearance on TV of one of my few all time favourite music groups. I have always loved music in my life and my memories revolve around songs that meant a lot to me at certain times in my life, I remember songs and places even though I cannot always remember the actual year, so listening to Simply Red tonight brought back some good memories for me. I don't often remember the very few good times that I have had in my life these days, so this performance was quite moving and very emotional for me.

Thank you ITV, you have achieved the virtually impossible and brought me some good memories tonight.

29 Dec, 2010: Why is New Years on this day Don't know!

I Still haven't had a significant reduction in pain yet, consequently I still haven't been able to upload these posts yet. So sitting down at my computer on my bed as usual and contemplating the world, even being the very logical person that I think I am, one thing that has bothered me for a very long time now is: Why did somebody decide that this particular day of the year be designated New Year?

I am not an astronomer myself and maybe planet X aligns exactly with planet Y in the heavens on this particular day, but as a layman, I just can't work it out. What New Year?

It doesn't fall on any well-known day like Winter or Summer Solstice, Equinox, etc. so why this particular day? I know that it must be linked to a particular day in the lunar cycle, but why this cycle? Why not a month or two ahead or behind?

28 Dec, 2010: To drink or not to drink?

Well, it is now almost New Year and I haven't uploaded my posts onto this blog for a very long time now. But as I have stated in my previous posts on here, it all depends on the level of pain that I am in and this Xmas has been quite memorable for pain.

But to get on to other things now! It is now 5 am. in the morning, I have just woken up after only three hours sleep and decided to start the day with a beer and whisky tops Just being sociable

, only for medicinal purposes! I have to combat this pain somehow.

I really do like to drink real Scotch whisky at New Year and it is a Reed family tradition, not this Thai bootleg rubbish that I am drinking now, real whisky

. But that would mean spending money and with my austerity measures in place at the moment, I honestly do not know what to do this year What New Year?

Okay, you have all convinced me, to hell with the expence, I'll treat myself to a drop of real Scotch for New Year.

19 Dec, 2010: I'll do it tomorrow! Ho Ho Ho!

To understand this post properly I need to ask you all a question, what is the worst thing that could happen to you tomorrow? There are many answers to this question depending upon the person being asked, but asking myself this question the answer is always the same 'waking up'! So I am usually disappointed everyday. But there is something even worse for me and that is having to leave my room and apartment block. Being in pain all day, everyday is bad enough, but having to make it worse by having to put my leg on and having to try and walk somewhere and face even more pain is not something that I look forward to at all.

Nowadays there are only three reasons why I should ever have to leave my apartment block and these are:

3. I have written many new posts for my blog and I should now really go and upload them.

So when I do have to go out, I start psyching myself up for it. I tell myself that I shall wake up early tomorrow, have a shower, put my leg on and just stroll along to the local motorcycle taxi and then get a ride to the shop/ATM. BUT, when tomorrow comes and I start to move, the pain takes over and I think to myself "I should be able to manage okay today, so I'll do it tomorrow instead" then I crawl back onto my bed and relax. But after a few days of doing this, I get to the point where I really am desparate and no more excuses will do, I have to do this task and today is just one of those days, 'Oh Well!'

14 Dec, 2010: Xmas is fast approaching again Ho Ho Ho!

Another year gone by now and Xmas is on the doorstep again. It doesn't really mean much to me these days and although it is an excuse for many people to drink more alcohol than ususal, as a confirmed recluse now I do not need any excuses to pursue my favourite acivity and ease the pain. Lots of booze!

11 Dec, 2010: Nobel Peace Prize 2010 - Liu Xiaobo - Let's face it China!

I watched the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony on TV last night and it was a very good ceremony indeed honouring the work of a dedicated supporter of human rights, Liu Xiaobo in China. Liu Xiaobo couldn't be there in person as he is now spending an 11 year jail term in China for voicing his opinions about the country and his wife couldn't collect his award for him because the Chinese government has placed her under house arrest until the Nobel ceremony is over and forgotten about, so the award was ceremoniously presented to an empty chair just to make the point. Chinese logic!

China on the whole has been progressing very well in recent years and it is now the second largest economy in the world after the USA, so I am not really surprised that the world economy is in a mess at the moment with these two countries at the helm. The USA has no original ideas and China's leaders are acting like disgruntled children vying for attention all of the time, as their reaction to the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony in Oslo shows only too well. They blacked-out all media coverage of this award in China and they tried to arrange a boycott of the event by some of the world's dignitaries. Who would listen?

I have had many Chinese friends in my life and I can say that the Chinese leaders' actions are not typical of the people in general, I am sure that if all of the Chinese people knew what was going on in their country supposedly on their behalf, they would get rid of their leaders at the very earliest opportunity, because they are making the Chinese people look stupid to the world. China must be trying to compete with the Americans who have had the monopoly in the world on stupidity for many decades now.

I know that losing face is a great feeling of shame in China, it is the same here in Thailand too, but to lose face you must have to own one in the first place and the Chinese leaders do not have any face on the world stage now. Chinese leaders are the pits

On a final note! I think that if China were to take the initiative here and completely unannounced, release all of their political prisoners on New Years Day 2011, this would not be viewed by the rest of the world as China being weak or acting under pressure. This would take the world by complete surprise and would upset the foreign policies of many Western countries, they would not know what to do and their perceived humanitarian advantage would be completely lost. What happened?

I am sure that by carrying out this simple act of humanity, China would soon rise to become the world's largest economy as the people around the world would make a point of purchasing Chinese goods in preference to any other. Then maybe China could lead the world out of this recession.

10 Dec, 2010: A victim of 'FOREX'

My monthly income from my pension arrived today, it always arrives around the tenth of the month, give or take a day. The date of it's arrival is just about the only thing that I can guarantee about it. My pension is a fixed amount in pounds sterling (GBP), but the exchange rate fluctuates on a daily basis, so I never know exactly how much money that I am going to receive each month and I have watched it go steadily downwards over the last 6 years, it never seems to go the other way. I have watched the pound sterling go from 75 Thai baht = 1 GBP six years ago, down to 45 Thai baht = 1 GBP today, that is a forty percent reduction of my income. Just my luck

The pension that I receive is not a lot of money to begin with, it just about covers my living expences with nothing left over for the occasional treat. So each time that it drops due to the exchange rate fluctuations as it did again today, I have to put my own austerity measures into operation and if that sometimes means going without food for days, so be it! I have to cut down on something to survive and I am certainly not cutting down on my beer and cigarettes, they are the only things that keep me relatively sane. Just being sociable

09 Dec, 2010: Recognise Palestine!

Back in 1949, my father (RIP) was serving his country, Britain, in the British armed forces in the Middle East. The British Forces in those days were carrying out policing duties and trying to maintain some sort of peace in Palestine. This was my father's only period in the British Forces and he related to me many tales about exactly what he saw whilst he was on duty there. Because he was on 'active duty' (under fire) during this period, he received a medal for his tour of duty there. The medal that he received, he gave to me when I myself joined the British Armed Forces in 1968 and I noted that printed on his medal, it had just one prominent word to indicate the area in the world that this medal had been awarded for and that one word in this case was 'PALESTINE' and the year.

Quite obviously from this, the British government recognised the state of Palestine in those days, so I really do not understand what the problem is today, or maybe I do! We are just being played as 'lackeys' to that bunch of idiots across 'The Pond'. More pain!

My father (RIP), told me of the many atrocities that he witnessed during his tour in Palestine and they were quite horrific, these atrocities were not carried out by the British forces or the Palestinians, the Palestinians were the victims. This account was spoken first-hand to me by my father and I shall not forget it, or the effect that it had on my father who was generally a very fair, unbiased and a very good man.

02 Dec, 2010: FIFA Football World Cup 2018 & 2022 announcement!

I am a little disappointed that FIFA did not choose England for the 2018 World Cup venue, because the last time that it was held there was in 1966. Britain being the home of the game of football and the UK also being a nation of fanatical football supporters, surely it would be appropriate to have the World Cup held in the UK at least once in every 25/50 years. Why not?

The good news that did come out of this announcement though, is that at least the FIFA committee did make a good choice for the 2022 Football World Cup, Qatar was chosen as the venue and I am sure that this was a very good choice, this will be the first time that the World Cup has ever been held in a Middle Eastern country and they all like the game of football there.

I did find it strange that the USA made a bid to hold the Football World Cup in 2022, but I am sure that after having a good laugh at this, the FIFA committee just dropped the USA application in the rubbish bin where it belongs. How could they possibly consider the USA to hold this event, it being a country that doesn't even accept the real name of the game that they are applying to host? Stupid Yanks!

29 Nov, 2010: Wikileaks open house!

Having just listened to a speech by Hilary Clinton about the latest 'Wikileaks' disclosures for the last twenty minutes on the news on TV and also being an unofficial Ambassador for my country in this part of the world, I decided that the time was right for me to voice my own personal opinions about this on here My words

Well done Wikileaks! It is about time that the world was informed about what the mongrel, uncultured, hypocritical, land of misfits that live on the Western side of the Atlantic Ocean are truly like and what they really think about the other people in the world. Would I be upset if 'Wikileaks' Picked up on my private email or comments? Not in the least! You see, I am one of those rare people these days that do not mind speaking my mind in public and very unlike ALL of the Americans that I have personally met, I generally do know the subject that I am talking about and I do not mind other people hearing my opinions if they are interested and again very unlke Americans, I tend to speak straight and concise and at a very reasonable level of speech.

26 Nov, 2010: Terrorists - Zombies!

I have a lot of time to myself these days and I spend much of that time viewing the world by watching current affairs TV programmes. I now have much more time to think about and try to analyse what I have seen on TV and by far the major problem that people in the world have to face these days, apart from the usual 'idiot country leaders', is that of terrorism More pain!

Terrorism is really not new in my life, being a former member of the British Armed Forces, I spent more than a decade of my life watching my back and having to check my personal vehicle for bombs before driving to work every morning. Even then I thought that this was ridiculous, why would someone want to try and kill me? Especially when my very purpose in the military on the global scene was to try to protect the lives and families of even the people that would want to try to take my own life (IRA).

Those days are gone for me now, but these days many more terrorist groups have appeared on the world stage and it has only really come to the forefront in the world news when the country who financially backed the IRA for decades and by association threatened my life (USA) were now themselves threatened by terrorist groups (Al Qaeda, Taliban etc.), so only now has terrorism been deemed to be a major global problem. Was terrorism just someone else's problem and OK before USA? Load of shit

In the days when I was threatened by the IRA a popular Irish band that I liked very much and still do to this day, the Cranberries, brought out an excellent music track that seemed to sum all of this madness up and personally I think that it should be recognised worldwide as the 'National Anthem of terrorists' - 'ZOMBIE'

25 Nov, 2010: No pain, no gain! More pain!

I am sorry for my lack of input for such a long time, but I do have to put up with the constant pain from my legs now and I really cannot get around very easily these days. It also does not help that I now do not have connection to the internet from my room anymore and that is not something that I wish to talk about on here for fear of incriminating myself on a minor local point of law

These days you do tend to here the phrase 'No pain, no gain!' banded about a lot. Well from this, I can only summise that with the amount of pain that I have been subjected to, that in some completely unknown way to me, I must have made a lot of gain in the past few years that I just cannot see Load of shit

14 Oct, 2010: A bad egg More pain!

My sleeping hours are very erratic these days. I awoke a couple of days ago with severe pain in my right hip, this happens quite often these days, so I just mulled over in my head if I had anything special planned for that day and I was happy that there was nothing that I really had to do. It was that time of the month though and I was due my monthly pension any day now and after checking my funds in my wallet, I realised that I had just enough money to buy my beer and cigarettes for the day, but I only had enough left over to get me a one way trip on a motorbike taxi to the local ATM machine and hope that my money would be in the bank by the next day because it is time to replenish my food and toiletries for the following month.

Then I made myself a cup of tea, but upon drinking it I realised that I had a very sharp pain on the tip of my tongue, at first I just thought that the tea was maybe too hot and that I had scalded it, but it persisted and upon checking it in the mirror I saw that I had a white coloured spot on the very tip of my tongue. Being me, I just pinched and burst it, it hurt like hell but I expected that. Everything that I ate or drank after that just gave me more pain, but severe pain is something that I have become quite accustomed to now. More pain!

Later I rechecked my food stocks and money and everything seemed to be okay, I just about had enough food to make myself a chicken fried rice for that evening and I had the funds to pay for my booze and fags and a trip to the ATM machine the following day. My tongue and my hip continued to give me a lot of pain for the rest of the day, but this I could endure, my threshold for physical pain now is very high, it has to be More pain!

. As usual I just spent the rest of the day on my bed until eventually it was time to go and buy my beer and cigarettes for the evening. The local shop in my apartment block is only 20 metres from my room, but even this is a major task for me now. I had to put my false leg on, test my right hip and then when I feel sure that I can make it there and back without too much pain or mishap I had to go and purchase my daily essentials Beer my love

The trip to the local shop and back that day really put me through a lot of pain, but I had my beer now and I drank thirstily when I returned to my room Beer my love

. What I had to do next was just to make my food, which is easy for me usually even without my leg on, I have my electric frying pan on the floor near my bed and after a few crawls to my fridge I had all of the ingredients necessary for my fried rice. I am quite an excellent chef and I soon prepared eveything ready for my meal, so I pre-heated my pan and started to cook my meal. The important thing with fried rice is that the oil has to be smoking hot, all of the items have to be added at specific times and the last thing to go into the pan is the egg. Everything was going fine, why not? I have done this thousands of times before, but when I cracked the egg and added it to the sizzling contents of the pan, HORROR! The egg was black and it stunk horribly Oh shit!

. It was impossible to remove the egg again now, it now covered all of the food in the pan and I had no more food or money available to start afresh, so I just had to try and make the best of a very bad situation.

Being the chef that I am, I always have a lot of spices and herbs nearby, so I quickly added what I thought would cover up this mess and make it reasonably edible and as luck would have it I did make it reasonably edible, even though it took most of my beer and quite a few glasses of my reserve spirits to completely remove the taste of that bad egg.

So what a day! This is the first time that I have ever had a bad egg when cooking, but I have learned from it. I now always break my eggs into a separate container before cooking Legless chef

13 Oct, 2010: Just where do I go from here Decisions!

Stuck on my bed now virtually 24 hours a day, with no internet connection and no communication wih anyone else at all, it does give me plenty of time to think and to reflect on the past. I do lots of self analysis, and it should also give me time to plan ahead, but for the first time in my life I do not have any plans at all, I have no interests, no hope and no aspirations at all. Just about as far as I plan ahead these days, only concerns that I have enough food, cigarettes and beer for the following day. Beer my love

I do have time now, lots of it, to go over plans that I made before when I still had some interest and on my computer I do find lists of stories to write and books to complete, but what I cannot find on my computer is the attitude of mind or the will to complete these tasks. More pain!

I am still updating my new and existing websites and that keeps me occupied a little when I get bored, but with no direct internet connection now and with the physical pain involved in getting myself to the local internet cafe it is looking like too much of an effort with each passing day. More pain!

27 Sep, 2010: Missing links

With the loss of one of my websites and having no personal internet connection now, and also with the opening of some new websites, I am really having problems now with some missing links on my sites. I can work on my websites offline on my PC at home, but I can only check them online at the internet cafe which has no webpage editing software on their machines. This is very frustrating for me now, I can see some problems on my sites online, but I can do nothing about it there and when I eventually get home to my PC, I try to remember and rectify the problems, but I don't really know if I have corrected them properly until I test them online again at the internet cafe.

As each journey to the internet cafe is a major effort for me now, this is most frustrating. The nearest internet cafe is 1km away from where I live and I have to get motorbike transportation to go there, with one false leg and a recently replaced hip on the other leg, the pain and the effort just to get on a motorbike taxi to go there is a major task for me in itself. More pain!

So when viewing my websites, I would sincerely ask you to please make allowances for my very unusual situation now.

22 Sep, 2010: The legless UK Ambassador in Asia

Whilst lying on my bed and thinking yesterday, as I quite often do, I decided that I needed another website. I have lived in Asia for so many years now that I consider myself to be an Ambassador for Britain here and so I decided that I needed a website to reflect this. After a little deliberation, I then went to the local internet cafe and I registered the domain name http://www.ambassador.org.uk This done, I set about making a basic webpage and banner for the site, I have a few good ideas for this site in the future and it has given me a bit of interest in something new, for a change these days. Absolutely legless now

On a by note, one of the other things that has gone wrong lately is that my prostheses (false legs) have started to deteriorate, the rubber compound used to make the feet has started to crumble, I have managed to keep them together using cellotape, cloth strips, super glue and bits of old plastic bottles and beer cans, but I am not sure just how long my ad-hoc repairs are going to keep them serviceable Just my luck

20 Sep, 2010: Life on a bed (not one of roses) Life is hell!

After leaving hospital in Songkhla about ten months ago, I eventually made my way back to my room in Bangkok with great difficulty on crutches. My new right hip was really giving me a lot of pain, much worse than when I lost my left leg before. When I got to my room, I arranged it for easy access to the things that I needed and did it as quickly as I could before the pain got too great and I then flopped down on my bed, took my left leg off and tried to relax at last.

The pain in my right hip is truly unbearable, I could cope with it well in hospital because I was dosed up with Morphine all of the time, I even experienced a Morphine drug trip, but for the last 10 months the only medication that I have had access to is Paracetamol. I was expecting the pain to get easier with time, but it doesn't, sometimes it gets much worse, there is no way to predict just how bad the pain is going to be on any given day. I spend virtually all day, everyday, on my bed now, my computer is by my bed, so is my TV and the refridgerator is just 2 metres away, which I can crawl to. I cannot go out for meals, because it is too far to walk and without a walking stick it is much too painful, so I have an electric frying pan and a kettle on the floor by my bed, with which I make all of my own meals and drinks, it's a sparsely furnished room, no tables or chairs here totally pissed off!

. Obviously, once a week I have to face the pain and go out to a supermarket to buy food and toiletries, but I try to psych myself up for that and take lots of Paracetamol too.

In my condominium block there is a small shop where I can get the basic essentials for me, things like cigarettes, beer and Paracetamol each evening Absolutely legless now

, but even though that is only 20 metres away from my room, putting my leg on and walking there and back each day leaves me in a lot of pain and feeling weak again, but this is a necessity for me and I can come back to my world on my bed quite quickly, take my leg off again, have a beer, watch TV and eventually drift off to sleep, leaving another miserable day behind. Beer my love

So that is basically my solitaire life on a bed in Thailand. What is going to happen next to this legless fool? My existence now

16 Sep, 2010: Incommunicado and absolutely legless now!

I am trying to get back into a blog writing routine again, but as you can see from my previous post it is very difficult for me now.

To make matters worse, I am trying to update my websites again but the internet cafe will not allow me to use any of my own software so I cannot use an FTP program to upload my websites, I have to use the web host's file manager. This will only allow me to upload one file at a time and it is very slow. Having lost one of my domains whilst I was in hospital, I now have 2 new sites that I am working on and hundreds of files to upload and now this is going to take me a very, very long time (days/weeks).

I am sure that I have a jinx on me, just to add to my many other problems, my mobile phone has just stopped working and I don't have the cash to get it fixed or get a new one, so I am now completely incommunicado and absolutely legless. totally pissed off!

Well that is all the news for now, I now have to face the pain and force myself to go to the internet cafe again.

15 Sep, 2010: Absolutely legless now!

I am sorry about my lack of blog posts for such a long time, it is due to circumstances well beyond my control. One year ago today, I had a stupid accident that smashed my right femur and hip and it has caused me the greatest physical pain that I have ever endured in my life, I was hospitalised and I had to have major hip replacement surgery, the surgery was successsful but the pain from this accident is something that I still have to live with on a daily basis and has caused me to completely change my previous way of life.

Further complications due to my long period of hospitalisation very far away from my Bangkok base, has caused me to lose the permanent internet connection to my PC and the only way that I can update this blog and my websites now is to travel to an internet cafe quite far from my residence, and as even any small movement for me now is a fight against pain and being completely alone, I hope that you can all understand how difficult a task it is for me to just upload a simple post on here totally pissed off!

. Consequently I have also lost my new apartment in Songkhla and I have had to give up all of my hopes of ever permanently living there now. There were many other consequences due to my accident, but I shall not go into them now on this, my first post as an absolutely legless fool in Bangkok.

02 Dec, 2009: Back to Bangkok on crutches!

There has been no posts on here for a very long time now, not by choice but because of an incident that happened to me on my last trip to the South of Thailand. The incident is much too complicated to go into on this blog, but I shall be writing a new story about it soon which I shall link to from this blog later. Basically, I have now seriously injured what was my only good leg before, so this legless fool is now an absolutely legless fool. What limb am I going to injure next? Maybe it would be better if I were just equiped in advance with a full set of clip-on limbs to cover any future losses Absolutely legless now

06 Sep, 2009: Heading South again this week

I have to head back to the South of Thailand again this week, I have to pay for my new apartment there and also a good friend from Penang is due to come and stay with me there for a few days. My apartment in the South is just a five hours drive from Penang, so it is an easy trip for her.

So I booked my train to Hat Yai yesterday and whilst I was in the Bangkok inner city area, I decided to call in at my local again for a couple of beers and I met someone there that I had not seen for 10 months, Tommi Jacks of 'Tommi and the Pestle Rock Band' and we had a good chat and a couple of beers together Just being sociable

. So I had quite a pleasant evening again last night chatting and drinking with Tommi getting more legless

03 Sep, 2009: Legless and Pickled again

With my extended trip to the South of Thailand and my multiple trips to Penang over the last few months, it has been a very long time since I was last in my local Bangkok British pub 'The Pickled Liver'. A problem caused by my recent frequent trips to Penang is that my passport had become full again, so yesterday I went to the British embassy in Bangkok to arrange for a new one. Whilst I was in the area I decided to call in at my local pub, say hello to the landlord and other people that I know in there and have a few beers sociably for a change. Of course everyone that I met in there was asking me how I was and where I had been for such a long time and I spent most of the night telling the story of my recent trip and being bought many beers getting more legless

. I had quite a good night socialising with everyone, not something that I am used to being the solitaire that I choose to be nowadays, but I quite enjoyed it and had a lot more beer than I am used to these days Just one more!

27 Aug, 2009: Drink Drink Drink - Mario Lanza

As I said in my last post, I am now very interested in You Tube. I spend a lot of my time now searching on there for music that I like and yesterday I found a classic. I found a very popular drinking song that I like, but even better, it is sung by someone who I consider had probably the best and most powerful male voice that I know of, Mario Lanza. I was so impressed by this track that I have embedded it on my Leglessfool website home page. The song fits in very well with the feel of my site, I love my beer anyway and I really do enjoy this classic drinking song Legless beer connoisseur

I have also embedded this song on this post below and you can click on the 'play' button on it to listen to it. I have saved many good music tracks on my You Tube account now and if anyone would like to view them then please click on this link: Legless fool's favourites on You Tube.

23 Aug, 2009: You Tube and Tony Christie

Being back at my computer again after a long time away, I am spending all of my time on it now, well, apart from my couple of hours beer break each evening that is Legless beer connoisseur

. I have been interested in You Tube lately, I have been searching on there for some songs that I haven't heard for a long time and I found them on there.

In 1967 when I was still quite young, I used to work behind a bar in a United Services Club in the evenings and they used to have live musical entertainment on at the weekends, Singers, groups, etc. One of the acts that I really enjoyed was a young male singer from Yorkshire who I thought had an excellent voice and he was so popular at the club that we used to have him there fairly regularly. After the bar was closed and the customers left in the evening, all of the club bar staff and the entertainers used to relax in a social room and have a few drinks and a chat for a while and that is where I really got to know this singer, he was not just a good singer, but I liked him socially too and we got on quite well together.

In 1968 I joined the RAF and I didn't get back home to the club very often, so I lost touch with this singer over the next few years. It wasn't until about four years later when I was with the RAF in Singapore that I heard about him again, he had made some records and I spotted them in a music shop there. Because he was a friend, over the next few years I bought every record/album that he brought out and I played them regularly. That was twenty five years ago now and I have lost them over the years, so that is why I started searching on You Tube for these songs. This singer made quite a name for himself in the early 1970s and he became very popular worldwide and he still is today, the name of this singer is Tony Christie.

One of Tony's songs on You Tube that I really like is below, if you would like to listen to it just click on the 'Play' button below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6h2aqSdCgo

21 Aug, 2009: Back in Bangkok and Back to being a recluse again

Having been away for almost two months, meeting new friends, finding a new love and travelling around, I am now back in Bangkok and I have to catch up on all of my internet SEO work, finish my E-book and update my websites. So I am now just stuck in my room here legless and alone working on my computer, basically just back to being a recluse in Thailand again.

16 Aug, 2009: Back from my very extended trip

I arrived back at my Bangkok base a few days ago, but I have been very busy trying to organise my now very imminent move to the South of Thailand to get around to writing a new post on here for a while.

My trip was very exhausting both physically and mentally with everything that I had to do. I have crossed the border between Thailand and Malaysia about six times during this period, with extended stays in Penang and my new home in the South.

My new home in the South of Thailand I am very pleased with, it is a quiet and very relaxing coastal fishing town not very far from Hat Yai and is an ideal place for me to continue with my writing projects. The whole atmosphere of the place eased me into a very good writing frame of mind as soon as I first stayed there, but unfortunately my computer was still in Bangkok and I also had many urgent things to do in Penang to take advantage of it then.

I shall be permanently moving to my new home at the end of this month, so you can expect a lot more from me on here then Unlucky! Try the Legless SEO guru

11 Jun, 2009: Off to a new adventure in the South

I have my train ticket now and I shall be leaving on the train later this afternoon for Hat Yai. This is the house hunting trip that I told you about in a previous post on here and on my arrival at Hat Yai on Friday morning I shall be heading to the recommended area to look for a new home there.

Also a pressing new development in Penang necessitates me to make an unscheduled side trip to Penang this weekend. The problem with this is that crossing the border into Malaysia will terminate my existing Thai visa and I shall have to return to Thailand again with just a visa-on-entry which will only give me 15 days when I return. However, the urgency involved with my unscheduled side trip to Penang overshadows the Thai visa problems that it creates for me. It is much too complicated and involved to go into in detail on this blog, but I am sure that it will be well covered in the future by a separate true short story that I shall write, or by an update to my never ending story in Thailand 'Legless in Thailand'.

06 Jun, 2009: Friskky Styles Penang is now in the SERPs

For most of the main tailoring keywords for Penang, my Malaysian friend's shop Friskky Styles website is now appearing on the first search results page of the Google and Ask search engines and consequently it is also appearing in the SERPs on the meta search engines that are fed by these. This has occurred much faster than even I expected and I am quite pleased with these results. For a new site to appear on the first search results page of major search engines for competitive keywords is a task that could take months or even years for most people, but the fact that I already have three well-established websites and I have linked from each of them to this site makes all of the difference, in this case it has only taken us nine days.

I do not think that my friend's tailoring competitors in Penang will be very happy about this though

03 Jun, 2009: Time for a new logo now I think!

I was in one of my designer states of mind today and I decided that it was time to standardise the logo and icons across all of my websites. Up until now I have always designed a logo/icon that I think goes well with the page being displayed, but today I thought to myself that I have already labelled my whole group of websites/webpages as the 'Legless Empire', so I thought to myself "Why not design a logo that people will see and eventually recognise when they visit any of your legless empire sites or pages" and that is exactly what I did.

You may have seen it on the top of the page when you visited this blog today and it is also on the URL bar as the icon there. I know that it is a fairly simple design, but I also know that it is simple designs that people remember easily, so it may just help!

02 Jun, 2009: The evil bitch is connecting again

I was surprised to receive an email a few days ago from the girl that made a mess of my life, the main character in 'Legless in Thailand' book, I just ignored it for a few days and even considered just deleting it without reading it, but today my curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. Inside it was a short message wishing me well and a link to a song on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9B2OMyCUrU after reading the email, listening to the song and sending a quite nasty reply back, I decided that this incident should be included on my website as a development in the Thai whore from hell story and so I created a new page on my website to include this update http://www.leglessfool.com/reedasia/Jezebel.htm

27 May, 2009: Frisky Styles in Penang is online

Even though I did have a slight disagreement with my Malaysian friend in Penang this time, I still like her and I promised her that I would put her new tailoring outlet Friskky Styles on the internet for her. I have had no previous experience of working with the clothing/fashion industry, so it has taken me quite a while to learn about the appropriate terms to use with it.

I finally finished designing her webpage today and uploaded it to the internet, so hopefully this will help her to generate a few more customers, because I do know that she is struggling with the rental cost of her new business premises and I do feel that I should try and help her if I can. Advertising on the internet is not just like flicking a switch on though, even though I have uploaded the site today and submitted it to many of the search engines, it usually takes a minimum of about two weeks before her site will start showing for her tailoring/fashion keywords with the search engine results pages SERPs, but it should appear on time because it is being handled by the SEO master, ME

23 May, 2009: A very long trip to Penang this time and a dilemma

I just returned back to Bangkok after my trip to Penang yesterday, it was an extended trip to Penang in search of suitable living accommodation for me there for the future. The trip was a very eventful one with many highs and lows for me and the eventual outcome after an initial encouraging first few days was a negative one. On the positive side though, I did manage to help a Malaysian friend there to set up her tailoring business in a new shop house in the centre of Georgetown, which I had planned to share with her as my future accommodation there, but incompatibilities between us arose and one of the main problems was that I am an amputee and that fact seemed to cause a problem for her and the landlord. The whole story about this is very long and involved, so I am just giving you this brief precis of it on here for now. My funds that I received from the RAFBF for my move to Penang were also now depleted by 50% so I had to rethink my strategy for any future move to Penang.

On my return from Penang, I stopped off in Hat Yai because I had come to the conclusion that I needed to check out Penang for suitable alternative living accommodation there much more regularly in the future and this would be much easier to do if I were living in the Hat Yai area which is just a four hour drive from Penang. So I started making enquiries in Hat Yai about living accommodation in the area as a stepping stone to moving to Penang in the future. There were quite a lot of other foreign guests staying in the guesthouse that I use in Hat Yai and I had some interesting conversations with them over the next couple of days. As it turned out, many of these guests know the Hat Yai area much better than I do and when they heard that I was looking for living accommodatioon there, they all started making suggestions. After many conversations with the different people there a common denominator started to emerge, because they all seemed to like and suggested the same area to look for living accommodation and it was somewhere that I had never been to before, so I made a mental note of this.

I do not have sufficient funds available to check out the unanimously recommended area at this point in time, so I have decided to return to the Hat Yai area in about two weeks time when my next pension payment arrives and do some serious house hunting in the recommended area then.

03 May, 2009: A trip to Penang via Hat Yai very soon

I have been quite busy for the last few days, my grant from the RAFBF arrived last Friday and I had to go to Hualumpong station and book my train ticket to Butterworth, Malaysia. What I didn't know before though, is that this week is a holiday in Thailand and all of the trains to Butterworth this week are full, so I had to make a quick change of plans and I managed to book a train to Hat Yai for 6th May and from Hat Yai I know that I can easily get a mini bus to Penang and it is only a three hour journey by road, I also have no schedule to keep to so I can take a day's break in Hat Yai because I like it there anyway.

This is not like one of my usual trips to Penang just for a Thai visa, this time I am looking for permanent accommodation there, so that I can move to live there permanently in one or two month's time. So maybe my next book will be entitled 'Legless in Penang' and unlike 'Legless in Thailand', I hope that it will be a happy story this time.

27 Apr, 2009: No sign of the girls, but I found a new beer garden

When I went to Ekamai BTS station a few days ago, I looked around there for the first time in many years, I was looking for somewhere that I could sit down and watch the people leaving the station hoping that I could spot my daughters. As luck would have it, on the corner of Sukhumvit road and Ekamai road there is a large beer garden now, so I found a table in there where I could view the station exit easily, sat down at it and ordered some draft beer. Over the following three and a half hours I must have seen thousands of people come and go at the station, but none that even vaguely resembled my daughters. I did the same thing over the following three days and was quite disappointed when I did not see my daughters.

I now think that if it really was my daughters that my friend spotted before, then they must have just been visiting a friend in the area and do not live there themselves. The times that I sat in the beer garden coincided with the times that children would be coming home from school, so I would not have missed them if they did live around that area and used the BTS. I shall now have to make other plans to somehow try and find them before I eventually leave Thailand.

22 Apr, 2009: In search of the past

Because I should be moving to Penang soon, I have decided to try and find my youngest twin daughters to see them once again before I leave the country. It is their twentieth birthday at the end of this week and I haven't seen them for ten years.

I know that they are in Bangkok nearby the area where I live somewhere and a friend of mine that lives in the same apartment block as me, said that he spotted two mixed race twin girls about the same age as mine, leaving the skytrain at the Ekamai station a couple of weeks ago. I am fairly sure that the twin girls that my friend saw must be mine, because surely there cannot be that many mixed race twin girls of that age in this area. So this afternoon I have decided to hang around the Ekamai BTS station for a couple of hours and hope that I can spot them coming home from school and then we can have a reunion before I leave.

19 Apr, 2009: My new E-Book, my move to Penang and the pub

I am still working on my new e-book and I am finding it quite a difficult task to work on it at the moment. I am presently adding more events and background that I did not include in the original draft of my Legless in Thailand book/story. I am finding that to write about this properly because it is an autobiography, I have to put myself back into the situations that I want to write about and virtually relive them again today by inducing the same emotions into myself that I was feeling at that particular point in time and only then can I write with feeling and hopefully my readers will get a more realistic impression of my thoughts and emotions at that time. But by doing this to myself I am bringing back emotions that are very painful and upsetting for me now and I find that I have to take breaks very often to control myself and the emotions that start to flow through me, so it is a very slow process.

Changing the subject a little now, I was informed on Friday of last week that the RAFBF has reviewed my case now and they have awarded me a grant to enable me to relocate to Penang as I requested. This is very good news for me, but I now have to plan my relocation and the movement of all of my personal belongings from Bangkok to Penang whilst staying within the budget of this grant and this is not an easy task. The grant is not a large amount of money, but if planned properly then I should be able to relocate within the budget, but it will be tight. I do not have any fixed schedule for this move and I just have to make sure that I have the funds available to cover the move at each stage. I shall obviously have to start with a trip to Penang probably within the next ten days, so that I can find suitable accommodation there, probably in Georgetown. I know that some of my Malay friends at the Blue Diamond Hotel in Georgetown will be only to pleased to help me with this task when I arrive there. As I have already stated on here, I have no fixed timetable for this move and I can spend as much time as I need when I get to Georgetown to arrange things properly there, but whilst I am in Penang I shall not be able to post on this blog for a while.

I decided yesterday to go and see my travel agent friend Peter in Bangkok, I thought that he may have some ideas about how I could move my belongings to Penang within the budget that I have available. So yesterday evening I went to Peter's travel agency and as I arrived there his wife was just locking up the office, she told me that Peter had finished work for the day and had gone to the Pickled Liver for a drink and said that I could meet him in there. Due to my lack of funds now, it has been more than three weeks since I last went to the pub, but I reckoned that I had enough money on me to have a couple of drinks last night. When I entered the pub I spotted Peter sitting at the bar and joined him there, I told him the news about my grant to move to Penang and he was pleased for me, I then asked him about his ideas as to how I could move my belongings to Penang and Peter suggested that the train to Butterworth was probably the cheapest and easiest way to do this, so that is one option that I shall now have to look into. If I send my belongings by train then I shall also have to arrange for one of my friends in Penang to pick up my things from the train station at Butterworth and take them to my new accommodation in Georgetown, so that is something else that I shall have to arrange whilst I am in Penang.

Because you cannot smoke in the bars in Thailand now, the Pickled Liver pub has placed some tables and chairs outside of the pub at the front where smokers can sit and have a cigarette, so after my brief chat with Peter I took my beer outside and sat at one of the tables there to have a cigarette. There were many other people sat outside doing the same thing and I soon got into conversation with some of the new people that I met there. There were quite a few interesting people there that I met last night and one in particular, Nazer, that I ended up chatting with all evening, he kept buying me beer and I felt guilty about this, because I have a very limited budget at the moment and I only have enough money on me for my own personal needs. I did have a very good evening at the pub though, a pleasant change for this recluse.

14 Apr, 2009: Working on my E-Book in a 'State of Emergency'

I purchased my new e-book compiler program at the weekend and now I have a lot of work to do. The e-book compiler works on HTML e-books and even though my book is already written, I only have it in .pdf and .doc format, so I am busy at the moment creating the .htm pages and getting all of my 'Legless book' text in this format. During this process I am reading my book again for the first time since it was published two years ago and being my own worst critic I am finding minor faults with it, so I am also re-editing it as I go along and it is turning into quite a long process now.

The good thing about the e-book being in .htm format is that related media can be used in it and being quite experienced with .htm files I am in complete control of my own book now for the first time in the last three years, which is a very good feeling. Now that I have finally got all of the text into the correct format on my computer, I have to switch on 'design mode' in my head now and try to make this new e-book both a good visual and audio experience for anyone who purchases/reads it and once again I am my own worst critic, so I think that it is going to be at least another two weeks before this new e-book will be available for purchase from my website and I shall let the readers of this blog know immediately when it is available. P.S. I have created an update page for the progress of my new e-book here

Apparently there is a 'state of emergency' in Bangkok at the moment, but being the recluse that I am now, I only know about this by glancing at a few news snippets when I am doing my search engine work on the internet. Where I live in Bangkok it is very quiet here, it is Songkran festival time here now and most people have gone home to their own provinces and families for the holiday, I am just working on my computer as usual and drinking lots of beer of course!

07 Apr, 2009: A new E-Book campaign

After more than two years of waiting to get any return on my legless book from sales of the book by my publisher, I have finally decided that the best way to handle my book now is to take care of everything myself. The way things stand at the moment, my publisher just sends me a sales report once every six months and every report that I have received so far has always stated the same thing 'zero sales'. This may be true, but with the long hours of internet marketing that I put into my book everyday, I find it very difficult to believe.

So I have finally decided to invest in an e-book computer program and then I can just produce and sell the e-book myself through my internet websites and cut out the publisher completely. At least this way I get records of any purchase of my book direct to me from my active Paypal account and then the only person involved right through from production to sales is me and I shall be accountable only to myself. So right now I am just waiting for the next payment of my monthly pension to go into my bank account, which is due this Friday, then I shall purchase my new e-book program and start a whole new internet marketing campaign.

This will involve quite a lot of hard work from me, because I shall have to change all of the internet links for the purchase of my book from my publisher's website and redirect them to my own personal shopping cart with Paypal. I do hope that this works, then finally after seven years I may get some return from my hard work and I really hope that I can accumulate enough funds this year to get me to my ultimate destination of Penang.

04 Apr, 2009: Master chef without a kitchen

In my small room now, I cook for myself but it is quite difficult, I only have a couple of electric pans and very little space available, I have to cook on the floor. I am a very good chef and I like to cook new things, so I have lots of different spices stuck in various places around the room, but it is very disorganised.

It is almost five years now since I last had access to a real kitchen with a gas cooker and lots of cooking utensils and I do miss it. You don't have the same instant control over electric that you do with gas and it does take a lot of getting used to to get things right. I still make some very good meals in here but it takes a lot of planning and preparation which takes up a lot of my time that I could be using for my writing, but I have to eat and it has to taste good.

The good thing is that I do make some excellent meals and I am even thinking about writing my own recipe book now, probably called something like 'Legless fusion cuisine'

01 Apr, 2009: The fool's day, my day!

Although today is April fool's day, I think that this legless fool has made enough of a fool of himself over the last few years, to last him for several lifetime's worth of April fool's days, so don't expect anything super foolish from me today.

My resolution for life now is not to be a fool ever again, so April fool's day or not, I shall try to be serious and very objective in anything that I do from now onwards. Please don't let me spoil your fun for today and enjoy yourself, but just be sure that when you are being a fool today, it only lasts for the day and doesn't create big problems for you in the future

31 Mar, 2009: I am a fool in Asia, but not in the UK

This evening at my usual beer break time, I met my only good friend in this apartment block, Justin, he is the only other foreigner here and he does virtually the same work that I do, he too is a website designer and spends many hours every day at his computer just like me. We only meet very occasionally, but when we do, quite obviously we have very much to talk about with our similar work on the internet. Justin is now spending many hours on his latest project which is, he is trying to create the best web directory on the internet and the dedication and time that he puts into this project I hope will bring him the success that he truly deserves.

Even in my own present dire situation now, I am still relatively much better off than Justin, at least I have my monthly RAF pension to help to take care of my basic necessities, whereas Justin only has his income from his internet work to live on and as I know from previous years of experience, it can take many years to just break even, no matter how much time you put into it. I do hope that Justin can make a success of his excellent web directory project, because if anyone deserves success in my eyes he does, he was the only person that helped me to get out of the last very tricky situation that I was in here, on Parasite Farm.

Justin had to return quite quickly back to his internet work tonight, so I just had to finish the last of my beer on my beer break alone. I had already finished my set internet work for the day today, so on returning to my room I just did what I always do when I have no urgent work to do and that is to play with keywords on the internet search engines. Thinking about my high internet profile now of 'the legless fool', I started to look just how far the word 'fool' was helping me, so I keyed in the obvious words of 'legless', 'Thailand', 'fool', and tried 'Asia' and 'Laos' too and they all came back with very satisfactory results in the search engine 'SERPS'. So then I decided to see if I came up as a fool in the UK and I was quite disappointed, I never came up in the SERPS of any of the search engines as a fool in the UK and this surprised me a little, because I use both the words 'fool' and 'UK' on most of my websites, but the search engines don't seem to acknowledge this in the searches.

Thinking about this using my usual legless logic, I have come to the fairly obvious conclusion that there must be too much competition and too many potential candidates for me to be classed as being a high ranking fool in the UK, so I shall obviously just have to wait until the amount of certified fools in the UK drops a little and try again

28 Mar, 2009: I am a legless charity case now

I told you a little while ago on here that I had joined a couple of forums on the internet and on one of them, the RAF forum, one of the people that I met on there had been working with the British services charity organisation named SSAFA before and after a few emails to each other and discussing our situations, he suggested that I should contact the British Legion in Thailand and ask them for some help to try and ease my present financial situation. So I did exactly as he asked me and because the British Legion here is based in Pattaya, they passed my case over to the SSAFA representative who works in the British Embassy in Bangkok.

The SSAFA representative met me yesterday and we sat and talked about my situation for a couple of hours, he filled in some forms with all of my financial details and his recommendations and he will be submitting them to the RAFBF in the UK next week. The RAFBF already has my name on their records because they were the people that paid for my flight to the UK after my accident when I lost my leg eight years ago. What the SSAFA representative has basically asked for from them, is to supplement my RAF pension to cover the loss of funds due to the present poor exchange rate of the Pound Sterling against the Thai baht and also after listening to my story, he agreed with me that it would be far better for me to relocate to Penang where the immigration regulations were easier for me and it would cut my living costs down quite a lot.

So he is recommending to the RAFBF that I should be assisted with a resettlement grant to relocate me to Penang. I am not holding out too much hope for this just in case they do not agree, but if they do agree and I can move to Penang, which is the one place in the world that I would really like to live, it would be absolutely wonderful for me

When you are struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis, you still never really consider yourself to be a charity case and it takes an objective view by someone outside of your personal situation to recognise it and make positive suggestions.

26 Mar, 2009: Really legless last night

Yesterday I had to go to my bank to get the code from Paypal so that I can activate my internet Paypal account at long last. Because my bank is close to my friend's travel agency in Bangkok after I had finished at my bank I called in to see him and have a cup of tea in his office. It was mid-afternoon when when I got to Peter's travel agency and I stayed there for a couple of hours just drinking tea and chatting about things, including my recent trip to Vientiane. Then in the late afternoon Peter invited me to go with him for a beer at a nearby beer garden 'The Rosabieng' it was quite pleasant sitting in the garden there and drinking a cool beer in the hot weather in Bangkok now. Knowing my financial situation, Peter treated me to a couple of beers and then one of his friends came in and joined us, Peter then had to get back to his travel agency and he left me there with his friend, so we started chatting and getting to know one another and he bought me a beer too, so by this time I was feeling the effects of the alcohol. Beer Chang that I drink is quite a strong beer and usually due to my limited funds I just treat myself to a couple each evening which just helps me to sleep these days

I hadn't been out for a while because of my very limited funds now, so whilst I was in the area I thought that I should go and say hello to my local pub landlord and just have a couple more beers. When I walked in to the 'Pickled Liver', Nick the landlord came and shook my hand because he had not seen me for a long time and he also bought me a beer. Because of the law now you cannot smoke in a pub, but they do have some tables and chairs outside at the front where you can have a cigarette so I took my beer and headed for the door, my legs were feeling even more wobbly than usual then and as I stepped outside the inevitable happened and I fell to the floor, whether it was by quick reaction or just pure good luck, I managed to keep my beer glass upright and only a little splashed out. One of the other customers outside helped me to my feet and I just blamed my false leg for the fall, even though I knew that it was nothing to do with my leg at all and everything to do with my excessive alcohol intake that day

The last thing that I remember last night was paying for a couple of beers, saying goodbye to everyone and heading for a taxi, I must have made it back to my room okay because I woke up this morning fully clothed and lying across the top of my bed with my false leg still on, so I reckon that it must have been a quite good night. Maybe it is just as well that I do not have the money to go out very often these days

24 Mar, 2009: Sidetracked from my story by pressing website updates

I have still not finished the story about my recent trip to Vientiane yet, because having recently reviewed my websites, I felt that I needed to update and modify them a little and if I don't do things when the thought is in my mind, then I end up forgetting about it later, this is probably one of the first signs of getting old now

A few years ago, I never had to write things down to remind me to do things later, it would just sit in a 'to do list' in my brain and I would get round to it as I worked my way down the list, but these days it doesn't quite work the same way, maybe I should try installing a new up-to-date 'Operating System' in my brain

Well, I have to get back to my website updates now, but I shall remember to finish the story for you soon, I hope!

21 Mar, 2009:Back from my trip to Vientiane

I arrived back on Thursday evening from quite an eventful trip this time. I have decided to write a new story about it and I hoped that I could finish it before I posted again on here. Unfortunately, it is taking me quite a long time to write, so I thought that I should post on here now and let you know what I am doing.

I should be able to finish the story later today and I shall probably post again later on this blog and give you a link to the new story. Two 'firsts' happened to me during this trip, I got a free Thai tourist visa and I got stuck in Nong Khai and ended up sleeping on the floor outside, but you can read all about it later when I finish the story.

15 Mar, 2009:Away for a while again

I shall be leaving later today heading for Vientiane again, so there will not be a post on here again for a few days. Hopefully my trip this time will be fairly uneventful, I like going to Vientiane anyway, but I shall write a post on here when I get back and I should have time to think of something interesting to write about whilst I am away.

12 Mar, 2009:Busy with forums and preparing for my trip to Vientiane

I have joined a couple of forums within the past few days and I have found them quite interesting. I am now a member of the British Expats Forum and the Royal Air Force Forum. I have had some interesting discussions on these forums and on the RAF forum, I have met people that I used to work alongside in the RAF 30 years ago. I am now quite interested in creating a forum for my website so that everyone who visits here can talk to each other and I shall probably get around to doing that within the next two weeks.

The pressing thing that I have to do at the moment though is to prepare for my next trip to Vientiane. I have to leave within the next four or five days because my visa expires soon and I have to book a train later today, I hope that they have a lower bunk available for me.

09Mar, 2009: Slurpus Interruptus: Invasion of the young girls

At my usual beer break this evening, I went to my normal venue at the front of the apartment block, I explained to my local shopkeeper that I needed credit again because my money hadn't arrived yet, I then got my first beer, sat down and the sun was just setting, it was quite a pleasant evening. I was just sitting there enjoying my first beer of the day and thinking about things in general, when I was suddenly surrounded by about forty young girls aged between 18 and 25 all fighting for somewhere to sit. So I moved to sit on the shop's cool box and watched all of this, I wondered where they had all suddenly appeared from and what they were doing here? I was still quite happy just sitting there on the cool box, anywhere will do as long as I have my beer, I was watching what was happening with these girls, then someone came and took control of them and moved them off to another area, so then I could get my usual seat back again. I thought that it must have been some sort of mass outing or party or something similar, but I then just settled back on my usual perch and carried on with my beer.

All of these girls were later led past me inside the building by the landlady and I asked her what was going on, she told me that this was a new intake of staff for the local 7-Eleven stores and she had the contract to accommodate them. Later these girls came out and were all milling around the shop and buying things, so I just took my time with my beer too many customers in the shop and these are cash paying customers and I am not

. The one thing that I did notice about all of these new girls though is this, even though I am the only foreigner here, not one of these girls even looked at me twice, let alone tried to target me and this I really liked and was very surprised about. I am so used to being a target for the girls here now, that this really surprised me tonight. Maybe I am too old, ugly, legless and look too poor for them to be interested, or just maybe! These are normal girls just like in any other country, very unlike the other girls that I usually see here in Thailand.

08 Mar, 2009: Read an E-Book Week: March 8 - 14, 2009

'Read an E-Book Week' has officially started today. It is a promotion to encourage people to read e-books, there are many literary companies offering special promotions and even my own publisher Red Lead Press is offering different free e-books to their website visitors each day this week, so maybe one of you can even get my book for free sometime this week

. This promotion is coordinated by http://www.ebookweek.com and hosting for the Read an E-Book Week website is made possible by a generous donation from gogreenreade.com.

Reading e-books is becoming more popular now with the availability of many hand held portable electronic devices that can display them and even download them from the internet. It is also a small step in the direction of reducing the carbon footprint on the earth and trying to balance things again. The benefits of e-books include economy, ease of purchase, portability, the amount of storage available on the reading devices, and the impact on the environment. The carbon footprint of printed books includes pulp from trees, chemicals, returns clogging landfills, and the exhaust generated by transporting books from publishers to bookstores or customers. With e-books, files are downloaded electronically and read on a reader. Nothing is printed, transported, or disposed of. For all these reasons, it makes good sense to set aside a week to consider purchasing and reading an e-book, or at least developing an interest in them and becoming more informed about their possibilities.

05 Mar, 2009: The good, the bad and the fool!

I seem to be very quick to react to people that have done bad to me, but not quite so fast at complimenting the people that have been good to me, maybe the reason for this is that the former group of people outnumber the latter greatly.

About 18 months ago I created a webpage for the worst person in my life Noi, the 'Thai whore from hell' to allow people to see the very bad character of this person. But what I have not been very quick at doing, is creating a webpage for the best person in my life, so yesterday I created a new webpage for Phetchomphu 'Pet' who has really helped me in many ways over the last few years. Pet unfortunately died two years ago, so the new webpage is a eulogy to her so that people can view it and she will be remembered as the very good person that she was.

Both of these people are real characters from my book 'Legless in Thailand' and they both had a big effect on my life in their own very different ways.

02 Mar, 2009: Never be the first to believe, never be the last to deceive!

Still on the subject of music, I have always loved music from being quite young. It became a hobby of mine many years ago to compile and create cassettes of my favourite music and I made hundreds of them over many years. Although I do like to listen to music with good rhythm and melody, I have always been more interested in lyrics and the message that the writer was trying to put across through the popular medium of music. So with the advent of 'rock operas' in the late 1960s and early 1970s, I was really drawn to them, but I was only ever once in a situation where I had the chance to go and see a live performance of one of these rock operas and that was 'Jesus Christ Superstar' in London in the early 1970s and I was very impressed not only with the music and lyrics, but also with the visual effects too, I was well and truly hooked then.

Now being a writer myself, I can see that these songwriters do have a story and a message from their own life experiences that they are trying to put across in their songs, but many people only listen to the sound of the music itself and miss this. I personally now only listen to songs that have meaning and many contain great words of wisdom. The title of this post today are lyrics from one of the tracks of my personal favourite musical 'Chess' and although these lyrics were written to fit in with the overall story, they also apply to everyday life for everyone and this is the one of messages that the writer is trying to put across in this musical story.

My post today may seem quite deep to many of you and I think that is because I am gradually getting back into my writing mode again after a very long lay-off.

01 Mar, 2009: A webpage to relax with

It is March already and I shall have to start thinking about and planning my next visa trip soon. Back to vientiane again this time, which I now quite like anyway it is very relaxing there.

Now that I am a member of the imeem website and because I like listening to music when I am relaxing, I have now created a webpage on here that links directly to one of my imeem music playlists, so now I just have to click on my own new webpage and I can listen to my favourite music being streamed down from imeem and because I have my own webpage in front of me I can plan new website updates at the same time. I find it all very relaxing and convenient for me, I shall give you my blog readers a link to this private page though just in case you would like to listen to some of the music that I like. I have called it my recluse webpage and you can check it out by clicking anywhere on this line.

25 Feb, 2009: A fool for music Legless music lover, audiophile

A couple of days ago I told you about the music website imeem, well I am totally hooked on it now. I have always liked music and different songs remind me of different times in my life, not just the songs that were popular at that time, but the songs that I personally chose to play on my music system (stereo, computer, etc.) at that time. I do have a huge collection of songs on my computer now, but occasionally a song will come into my mind that I do not personally have a copy of and it will drive me crazy until I can find it somewhere and play it.

Well imeem has the largest database of music/songs that I have ever seen anywhere and I now spend many hours each day just searching for and playing songs that I have not heard for years, but that I really like. It has got to the stage now were I am spending most of my time trying to remember songs from the past and searching for them and imeem finds them and plays them for me every time. I think this is a wonderful website and it is really filling a need. As a standard member of imeem it costs you absolutely nothing and you can search for songs, save them in your own playlists and it even keeps your personal search history, so that you can easily find songs/videos that you have already looked for before. As a VIP member, you can download your music/video playlists to your mobile phone and play them on there too, but that does cost a little money per year and the price depends on the amount of access that you require.

Whilst I am writing this post tonight I have some music playing on imeem in the background, it is 'You'll never walk alone' by Gerry and the Pacemakers, because this has special meaning for me. Gerry played this song just for me one night when we were drinking together many years ago, but that is just another story that I haven't written about yet

23 Feb, 2009: Never ending story in many ways now

Looking for some music again on the internet yesterday, I found this great website named imeem, it has just about any music that you could possibly want, in my searches on there, there is only one song that I cannot find and I have been looking for it everywhere on the internet for a very long time and cannot find it anywhere, so I am not really surprised. They have just about everything else though and many videos too and they can all be embedded on webpages, so I have decided to 'music' many of my webpages now.

The main page that I was looking to put music on first though is my 'Legless in Thailand' book page and I was trying to think what music would be appropriate for it. So I was thinking about my story and I could not really just put one piece of music to it, because although the book is already published, the main story 'my life' is still ongoing and I intend to write more editions to the first publication in the future. So I was still trying to think of some music that would interest people and that I also personally like and would be appropriate for me, I was trying to think about a song that would cover everything and then I thought well, I am not dead yet, unfortunately, so the story doesn't end here and then 'immediately' the obvious choice of music hit me, a song that I hadn't thought about for a very long time, but that I used to like very much before 'Never ending story' by Limahl.

I found the song very quickly on the imeem website and it is very convenient, as soon as you play a song, the required code to embed the track on a webpage is available immediately just below the song itself. So I copied the code, applied it to the 'Legless book' webpage, uploaded the modified page and it was running with music on it in about ten minutes flat. So now maybe I have to call the second edition to my book 'The Legless Never Ending Story'

21 Feb, 2009: Legless Empire beer - that's a good name for a brew!

Still not quite tired yet and nothing really important to do, I have been doing my usual thing of playing with the search engines to pass the time. I have been coming up number one on the search results for a long time for the keywords of 'legless beer', so just playing around again, now that my sites are under the heading of Legless Empire, I put the keywords of 'legless empire beer' into the search engines and sure enough! My sites came up in the first three, on the first page results on each search engine.

So perhaps I should start a new business of brewing beer and marketing it under the brand name of 'Legless Empire Beer', I am fairly sure that the name would catch on quite well and people would want to try it. I just wish that I had the money to invest in some of my legless ideas sometimes. Oh well! time for the legless beer emperor to have some more beer now and try to sleep

21 Feb, 2009: The major search engines and a Legless Hotel??

I work with the major search engines everyday and they still never cease to amaze me with their logic. I had finished my usual routine with them for the night yesterday and I still had some time to kill, I remembered that I had not checked the search results for my friend's hotel in Penang for a long time, so I thought that I would check it for him.

I made the webpage for his hotel just as a friend, he helps me sometimes and I try to do the same for him, so I put the hotel in Penang on one of my website pages http://www.expostfacto.co.uk/bluediamond.html. When I started searching for this last night I used the kewords: 'hotel' 'Georgetown' 'Penang' because the title that I gave the page was 'The Blue Diamond Hotel - Chulia Street, Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia - Recommended by Legless in Thailand'. It was very difficult to find it for these first keywords with any of the search engines, so eventually just getting annoyed with the search engines, I typed in the keywords 'Legless hotel' and my friend's hotel came up on the first results page on every search engine.

So how do you work out the logic in this? In the first searches I put the exact location of the hotel and it was very difficult to find, in the last search I didn't even specify a country and it came up on the first results page each time??? The only deduction that I can come up with is that it is the word 'Legless' that the search engines are relating to this and automatically relating it to me and any hotel that I am connected with

So what do I do now, do I try to get my friend in Penang to change the name of his hotel to 'the Legless Hotel' ? Because I don't think that many people searching for a hotel in Penang are going to use the word 'legless' normally in their search

. One thing is for sure though, I need more beer now and go to sleep soon.

18 Feb, 2009: The FBE awarded to the fool

After going over my recent life history once again yesterday, I decided that having not just been an ordinary fool, but being a confirmed fool of the very highest order, I deserve recognition for this fairly unique achievement. So being a British Citizen and also being distantly related to the British Royal Family, I felt that I was fully qualified to bestow an award and a title upon myself in recognition of this achievement. Therefore, without too much ceremony and with just a couple of beers to celebrate with, I awarded myself the FBE at 18:00 hours Thai time (11:00 GMT) on the 17th February, 2009.

The FBE is a new Order of the British Empire for this millenium and this is the first one of it's kind to be officially awarded to anyone. So as I now hold the Fool of the British Empire award and the title of 'Sir', I can now use these with my name on any correspondence that I write and that should certainly confuse some of the scammers that I play with

The titled Legless Fool - Sir Ian Reed FBE For God and the empire

or should that be Sir John McMiken FBE

16 Feb, 2009: LIT Club - Free webpages for owners of my book

I decided this evening that it would be a good idea and a nice gesture from me if I could give a little something back to the people that have bought my book 'Legless in Thailand' . The only thing that I can think of, is to give each one of them a personal webpage on this website for free. So thinking about this a little more, I have created a new directory on my website, I named the new directory 'LIT Club' and and I have put just one basic page on there for the time being and uploaded it to this site to give the search engines time to find it before it starts to go fully operational. So any of you that have already purchased a copy of my book and would like to have your free webpage on this website, all you have to do is to email me at: litclub@reedinter.co.uk and send me a copy of your book purchase receipt and we can then arrange to make a suitable page for you on here. To take a look at the Legless LIT Club page now just click on this line anywhere.

15 Feb, 2009: The Fool's Empire strikes back Recluse legless emperor

Legless empire is going well now, but playing with words on the search engines 'Fool's Empire' needs some work. Although I am happy with the high profile of legless empire, I would also like fool's empire too, but these words are very highly competitive on the searches and so far, I am well down on the SERPs for these words. I know that Google and other search engines update for this blog regularly, so I am using this blog today as a tool to increase my presence for the words 'Fool's Empire'. The search engines also take notice of anchor text in links, so next I shall be linking to my sites on here using appropriate text for them.

So really all that I am doing on this post today is playing to the search engines rules to achieve a certain objective

14 Feb, 2009: Valentine's day in the new empire

Updating my main website Legless Fool, I decided that I needed some new words on the page to try and help people to notice my new site. Because I have many websites and many domain names now, in the past I have used the words legless group to refer to them all and I use legless HQ as my main website title, but I decided a couple of days ago to give it a new reference of my legless empire and it seems that the search engines have picked up on this very quickly, because already my website comes up in the number one position in search results for the words 'legless empire' on all of the major search engines and I am quite happy with this

Today it is Valentine's day but every day is the same to me now and this day has not meant anything to me for a very, very long time. But seeing all of the advertisements and headlines on the internet today, it did start me thinking about the days when I ran my own internet dating service called Siamgirl, that was what I was doing on the day that I had my accident and subsequently lost my leg eight years ago. I was happy in those days and head over heels in love with a girl who turned out to be the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life and that is what my book Legless in Thailand is mainly about. For anyone interested in reading about this very bad person in my life then please click anywhere on this line to read more about her.

Whilst I was thinking today about the time when I was running this dating agency before, I realised that although I do mention about it in my book, I should really devote a short story to this period in my life and I made the decision today to write my next true short story about this period, so I suppose Valentine's day does have it's use a little bit for me, but as for the romantic side of things, that is something that I gave up on a very long time ago and certainly something that I have absolutely no interest in, especially in my present location. But I do hope that all of you that are lucky enough to be in a good relationship with someone can enjoy yourselves in the true spirit of Valentine's day today

11 Feb, 2009: The strange hungry alien with a goatee beard Legless recluse

I didn't mention it before because I thought it was not important, but just after my last trip to Penang I had developed an annoying shaving rash just below my bottom lip on my chin that would not heal easily even applying cream and shaving again just made it worse each time. So I decided to give it some time to heal by itself and try to help it by not shaving for a while.

After a couple of weeks it did seem to settle down a little, but it was still a little painful to the touch and I needed to shave because in the heat here my neck was becoming uncomfortable. So I just shaved around the area where the problem was and left that and my upper lip totally unshaved. I realised later that I had inadvertantly started to grow a goatee beard and moustache and that is the way that it still is today, I never set out to do it and I always wondered before to myself why other people chose to grow these goatee beards, but now I think that I know why.

Putting my new found goatee to one side now, I managed to get my money through eventually this week, so I could pay off my debt to the local shop and go shopping for real food again. I have now developed a huge appetite and make large meals for myself at least twice per day, it is just so good having the food stuffs that I like available again and I have been making all kinds of edible concoctions this week being the inventive chef that I am

It must seem strange to the local Thais here though, seeing this unshaven, legless alien around sometimes and getting all kinds of unusual cooking smells eminating from my room, but then again, I am just the local recluse here now, so what the hell do I care what they think!

08 Feb, 2009: Low on secondary essentials - Not available on credit!

Sitting at my usual position this evening for my beer break, there were very few people around, which I like, I just sat there and started mulling over my present situation in my head, as you do when drinking beer! I am fine for the main essentials now, beer and cigarettes, thanks to my local shop owner 'Pod' giving me credit, but my secondary essentials like basic staple food is now running at an all time low for me. I usually make a batch of food that lasts for a week, I keep it in the fridge and just reheat it as required, but I am now down to my last day's supply and my usual stomach-fillers of bread and potatoes are finished

This is one of the biggest problems of living in a foreign country, my local shop stocks what it considers basic requirements, but that is aimed at the Thai requirements, I don't blame him for this because 98.5% of the residents in my apartment block are Thais. Even though I personally have lived in Thailand for more than twenty years now and the food that I personally make is very spicy, the basics of my own food still revolves around potatoes and bread and these are two of the things that my local shop does not stock. I have to get my basic food supplies from the nearest supermarket which is about one kilometre away, but with no money even for transport to go there and zero funds available now, I couldn't even buy any essentials even if I walked there. I can buy rice or noodles on credit at my local shop, but rice and noodles to me is just like the way that Thais look at potatoes and bread, it is nice to eat occasionally but not what I want to eat on a daily basis.

I just hope that my monthly money is in my bank account tomorrow, because I do need to buy some staple food again now, none of this rice and noodle crap, but real filling food like potatoes and bread, the accompanying, meats, toppings and sauces can be as spicy as you like, in fact I was one of the pioneers of what they now call fusion food, but staple food like potatoes and bread are very important for me.

07 Feb, 2009: Legless by Brianna Aisling - A good story

I told all of you on here a couple of weeks ago that I had found a good story named 'Legless' on the internet, well I decided to contact the writer of the story and ask for her permission to feature this story on my website. The theme of my websites is legless anyway and a good story with the same title could only benefit both of us and be good for the readers too.

I eventually received her permission to feature the story yesterday, so today I have been busy making a new webpage, designing some graphics that would complement the story and made a banner to link to it. I eventually finished the new page and uploaded it, it was late this afternoon and by the time that I had finished it was my beer break time and nothing interferes with that!

So just about one hour ago I finished my beer break and now it is time to write about this on here and do my blog post. I have placed a banner below linking to this story and I do hope that you will read it because Brianna does have some very good writing talent, I have also put her email address at the end of the story, so if you enjoy the story please let her know, I am sure that she would be quite pleased

07 Feb, 2009: Burgers for breakfast

Yesterday morning, sleeping the strange hours that I do these days, I woke up at about 11:30 am. really hungry. Because of my financial situation at the moment, I don't have a lot of choice of food in my fridge, but what I did have in there was a bowl of minced pork mixed with herbs and spices that I was preparing for my next week's batch of curry. So without thinking about it too much, I patted myself a burger from the contents and fried it, I fried some onions and tomato and put them all together with some cucumber and chilli sauce on a bun and it was delicious. This is not really something new for me, it is just second nature, having had my own restaurant before, I always made my own burgers and they are always better than the ones that you can buy normally at any fast food venue. What is new for me though is eating a burger for breakfast, I don't know why, but I have developed a huge appetite of late and I always seem to wake up ravenous these days

06 Feb, 2009: Good search engine results without being legless

Yesterday evening, I had finished all of my usual search engine work, I took my two hour beer break at my local shop on credit and then sat back at my computer again afterwards. As usual when I have nothing really to do and because I am connected to the internet 24/7, I started playing with some of my keywords on the search engines. Just for a change, I decided to leave out the word 'legless' even though this is the theme throughout my websites and this word is now virtually directly linked to all of my websites from the search engines, basically I had nothing to do and I was just having a final nightcap and in a playing mood

Choosing some of the words from my website's contents, descriptions and page titles seemingly at random, I started entering them into the search engines and I was quite surprised at the results that I got, it seems that not just the word 'legless' mixed with other keywords are linked to me, but I was now appearing on the first results pages (SERPs) for a few other words that the search engines now link to me and again all of the search engines seemed to agree with these results. But due to my high ranking on the search engines for my usual 'legless' keywords, I now find that many people on the internet are copying my page titles, descriptions, content, my name and my book and story titles and some even copy and paste the posts from this blog in full on their sites, just trying to get internet traffic without really working at it for themselves

Well because of this, I shall not write on here what the other keywords are that the search engines are now linking to me, or these lazy website owners / brainless morons, will just copy them and start using them on their websites too, but I am quite sure that the average reader of this blog is of a high enough level of intelligence to work out what other words the search engines are now linking to me, without being 'legless'

The Legless Fool - It's only words and words are all I have to pass the time away!

04 Feb, 2009: Teaching English in Thailand

This evening, having arranged to get credit at my local shop for my beer because I don't have any money at this time, I was relaxing with my first beer and just feeling happy that the shop owner knows me and trusts me well enough to give me credit for a few days. Then a Thai friend of mine arrived that I hadn't seen for a couple of weeks and sat down drinking with me. He is involved with the supply and contract of English teachers for schools in Thailand and he was feeling quite happy with himself because he had just landed a new big contract for English teachers in Chaiyaphum in the North East of Thailand. As we started talking, he then told me that although he now had this new contract, he didn't have the native speaking English teachers to fill the positions and asked me if I personally knew of anyone that could take up some of these positions.

I had to tell him in all honesty that I personally didn't know of anyone that could help him, because I never go out anywhere and I don't meet many people these days. Then I thought that I do have the internet, so I could maybe use my blog and websites to try and recruit suitable people for him and he was very pleased with my offer of help. So I have spent the rest of this evening putting what I consider, a good advertisement for English teachers on my websites for him and the last update for today is this post to my blog tonight. I do hope that my internet sites can help him, because he really is a nice guy and the new teaching jobs that he is offering seem to be quite good for people to apply for.

03 Feb, 2009: The write frame of mind

Doing my usual search engine work yesterday, I found that my Ex Post Facto short story page is now appearing quite highly in the search results and this is not due to my influence, so other people must be searching for the stories and clicking on them. What this has brought home to me now is, that the stories are a part of my websites that I have ignored for a very long time.

The problem is, that I personally find that I have to be in the right frame of mind to go into 'writing mode' and it is not something that I can just switch on and off at will. I have to clear my mind and feel completely relaxed, usually with the aid of a couple of beers

. But with my present financial problems, this is virtually impossible for me, especially when I open a bottle of beer and I am wondering to myself whether or not I have the funds available to buy another beer when this one is finished

So even though I have a backlog now of about fifty stories to start/complete, I can't get myself into the right frame of mind at this point in time to start on them, even just this blog now takes a lot of effort and willpower, if I could just get my pension payments sorted out again after my useless HSBC bank in UK screwed them up at Xmas, then everything would be fine again and I could ease back into my writing mode

27 Jan, 2009: So you think that being drunk on two legs is difficult?

I was all prepared to spend my first evening without alocohol this evening due to my lack of funds at the moment. But, what happened this evening restored my faith in people again. I had just finished making my food for the next week and I was ready for bed, when a knock came at my door and it was a new friend of mine that I had not seen for a few weeks, inviting me out for a beer. Being very short of cash at the moment, I was in two minds about this invitation, If I go, do I have the money to socialise? I knew that I didn't have the cash to go out, so initially I declined. The person insisted that I go out with him, money or not, and I felt obliged to go.

If you have never been in this position before, then it will be hard for you to understand, how demeaning it is to have someone invite you for a drink when you know that you do not have the funds available to assist with the invitation offered, but I was eventually convinced to go out with my friend even though I had absolutely no money with me. I explained my unease to my friend and he just passed it off as an inconsequence, but as a person that is used to taking care of themself I still felt uneasy about this situation, but I went along anyway.

We ended up having a very good evening together and talking about many things in Thailand. How I eventually ended up back in my room I do not know, I just know that I had a good night with my friend Jimmy and that I drank a lot more beer than I am used to

25 Jan, 2009: Can hide but cannot run away

Continuing from my post yesterday, today after finishing my internet work I decided to see if I was still the number one legless recluse on the internet, of course I was because I wonder just how many legless recluses there are in this world and especially ones that have a high profile internet presence? But today I looked at some of the other search engine results below me and one of them made me laugh, it was a joke about the definition of a legless recluse and it said that a legless recluse is: 'Someone who can hide but cannot run away'.

When I started to think about this joke later, I realised just how applicable this was to me, not in a physical sense, but this is exactly the position that I find myself in now. I successfully managed the first phase of my quest to start my life anew again, by my escape from 'Parasite farm' in Nakhon Sawan six months ago and moving to a single apartment in Bangkok with the help of a friend in Bangkok. The problem now is that I am stuck here, I am in a financial trap, I can just about survive adequately on a day to day basis here, but as for the final stage of my quest which is, moving to somewhere that I would really like to live now and start again, that is now on a permanent hold because there is no possible way that I can see that I can raise the money required to complete this quest. The only outside chance that I can see to achieve this now is by acquiring some extra funds from the sales of my book 'Legless in Thailand', but in the last two years I have received absolutely nothing from the publishers of my book and I am rapidly losing hope on that score now.

So the joke that I read seems to fall into the category of a very old English saying: 'Many a true word is spoken in jest'.

24 Jan, 2009: A recluse in real life but not on the web

After my usual evening beer break yesterday evening, I just returned to my room and computer. I had already finished the work that I had set for myself for the day, so I just thought that I would play with some of the words from my websites on the search engines, which I do just to keep myself amused and occupied when I have nothing else to do

Going through some of the content on my 'leglessfool' website I picked out the word 'recluse' which I had used to describe myself in Thailand these days, so I linked this word with my usual keyword of 'legless' and it seems that all of the search engines now have me confirmed as 'The Legless Recluse' on the internet, because I came up number one on the first page of every search engine results for these keywords. I always thought that the definition of a recluse was someone that kept themselves to themselves far away from anyone else, which I do in real life, but quite obviously even though I really am a recluse, the search engines are turning me into a kind of celebrity for being a recluse

On the internet I don't really mind about this because my high profile presence on here is by personal choice for the sole purpose of trying to promote my book 'Legless in Thailand', I only hope that this doesn't somehow spill over into my everyday life

22 Jan, 2009: Venus time and a legless story

Sitting outside for my nightly beer break tonight, the clock at the restaurant had been moved so I had to revert to using Venus again as my time indicator. Over the past month or so Venus' arc across the evening sky here has gradually changed and now it is about 20 degress more Northerly than it used to be, the times of it's visible arc that I can see from my evening beer perch has also changed, but I have been monitoring it each day and it still gives me a good indication of the time that I have left for my beer break

Whilst doing my usual search engine work yesterday and using 'legless' as one of my keywords, I spotted another website close to me in the SERPs and it was a link to a short story entitled 'Legless', this caught my attention and I decided to take a look at it. The story was a short fiction story written by Brianna Aisling and it was about a man who was also physically legless, so I decided to copy it onto my computer and read it before going to sleep last night. I found that the story was well written and was written with feeling which I found very moving and I am now quite a fan of this writer and look forward to reading more of her stories in the future.

20 Jan, 2009: Magical mystery tour

I know that it has been very quiet on here lately, but I have to conform to government bureacracy sometimes and I had to go for a new Thai visa to Penang to maintain my present status quo here in Thailand. It was quite a good trip this time though, I really enjoyed it and I met some very interesting people in Penang, but these trips are a bit like 'the Beatles magical mystery tour' to me though, I never know exactly what situations I am going to encounter on these fairly regular trips and because none of us has the inbuilt ability of total foresight, anything could happen, especially to me! So each trip is a kind of adventure for me, who knows what will happen each time?

I have decided to write a new story about my last two trips to Penang because there has been too many small incidents to write about in full here on this blog and I am still recovering from my last trip, with the aid of a few beers of course!

More on here about my new story when I eventually get around to writing it, which I think will take a few days and many more beers, so please be a little patient

11 Jan, 2009: Back in circulation, socialising, full moon party

Ever since I moved back to Bangkok five months ago, I have deliberately made myself unapproachable and I have been downright anti-social to everyone around me, other than with my Nigerian friend, Justin, that I meet occasionally. I have been quite happy with my solitude, it gives me more time to think about my life, stories, any future books and even what to write on this blog sometimes.

I had to buy my train ticket for my upcoming trip to Penang yesterday and on my return to the apartment in the early evening I saw one of the largest and brightest full moons that I have seen in a very long time. Back at my apartment, I dropped my jacket and ticket in the room, I grabbed my beer mug and then I went to sit at my usual drinking place at the front of the apartment for my evening beer break

Sitting at the front drinking my first beer, I met Justin and we chatted for a long time, mainly talking about visa runs and my upcoming next trip to Penang on Tuesday this week. Later, another foreigner arrived at the apartment and went into into the shop to buy some beer and on the way back out again he said "hello" to me and then chatted to Justin for a while, they obviously knew each other quite well. After he had left, Justin told me that this guy used to live in an apartment here a long time ago. We sat there talking for a while longer until I finished my beer and then I returned to my apartment, because I had some cooking to do.

Back in my room I realised that I had run out of drinking water, I need this because I need my morning cup of tea the next day, so I grabbed my water bottle and went to fill it from the drinking water machine at the far end of my apartment block outside. When I had eventually filled the bottle, I started walking back to my room and someone called out to me, it was the foreign guy that I had seen talking to Justin earlier and he called me over to him. He and a few Thai guys were sitting on a Thai bench with shelter across the road, when I got there one of the Thai guys motioned me to sit down and poured me a beer in a glass. The foreign guy's name was Jimmy and we started talking and drinking together, the Thai guy that had poured me a beer also joined in the conversation and spoke very good English. I immediately felt quite comfortable with these people, I have a knack of making quick character judgements of people and these guys seemed quite good, I am usually right with my character judgements, unfortunately this knack does not seem to work with the characters in my personal and emotional relationships

The night went on very well for many hours and everybody was talking, drinking beer, joking and laughing and for the first time in a very long time, even I was laughing with them

. Jimmy sent a Thai motorcycle guy for more beer and he wouldn't let me contribute any money. This turned into quite a party and we all got to know each other very well, it was very enjoyable for me because basically I am a very sociable person, but I usually keep that side of my character well hidden these days.

In the early hours of this morning everyone started to get tired and we eventually all drifted off to our respective abodes and fell asleep. Reflecting on last night today, I had to admit to myself that I did enjoy our impromptu little party last night, I reckon that it must have had something to do with the full moon bringing my true character back out into the open

07 Jan, 2009: Writing mode for the King of Four King Hell King Legless in charge

Even though I am still waiting nervously for the first payment of my pension to be paid into Thailand, I received a good email yesterday from my very good website hosting company Namesco stating that they are supporting me through this changeover and they have even given me a new hosting package that supports far more than my previous packages, so my websites will not be affected at all.

This has set my mind at ease quite a bit and looking at my new hosting package it has even given me ideas for a new business, designing and creating websites for other people, this was a business that I used to do on the internet many years ago. So today I created and uploaded a new webpage named Legless Fool Webcast Online Packages advertising for people to use my website designing services. After finishing and uploading this new webpage, even though it was only lunchtime then, I fell fast asleep on my bed, I wake up and sleep at very strange times these days probably because I am not tied to any strict routine anymore, this is one of the benefits of being retired now

When I eventually awoke again in mid-afternoon, my mind was playing on an amusing tale/story that I had thought about a long time ago and whilst I was still feeling in a writing mode of mind, I decided to write it on another new webpage and put it on the short stories section of my Ex Post Facto website. Writing the tale itself was fairly easy, but creating suitable graphics, making links and updating the sitemap took quite a bit of time. If you would like to read this quite amusing tale then you can go to Four King Hell

My new banner and link to my website design services is below, I have been quite busy today and I really need a few beers now.

05 Jan, 2009: All cried out - Alison Moyet

Doing a search on the internet yesterday, I decided to do a search for something that I personally like, rather than just concentrating on my usual website work. I do love good music and a song that has been on my mind for a very long time now, I decided to search for to see if I could find it.

My personal search engine of choice for my searches is Google and sure enough! Google found exactly what I was looking for very quickly indeed. The song in question was 'All cried out by Alison Moyet' and by using Google, I found an excellent video and soundtrack of Alison performing this song on Top of the Pops 25 years ago. I still rate this as one of my all time favourite songs and she is an excellent singer, she just has a power, depth of voice and a presence that is much too difficult to explain in words, to me she is the epitome of all that is good about British music.

04 Jan, 2009: Cold potato salad and 'fermented' lime tea

Just a lazy Sunday for me today, messing about with my internet work and snoozing for a while, but in the late afternoon I decided that I was a little hungry and needed to eat something. I like to keep some food ready in my fridge and I always keep lots of home made potato salad in there, so I grabbed a can of potato salad and I was going to make some tea to drink with it, but I found out then that my hot water pot was empty and I was too lazy to get dressed and go and replenish my water at the drinking water machine outside. I then remembered that I had kept some lime tea in the refridgerator from a long time ago, so I thought that I would just have a cold tea drink with my food today, although usually I just drink hot tea during the day.

Well, I found the plastic bottle of lime tea that I had made in the fridge and as I was unscrewing the top, at the last turn of the top there was a loud bang like a gun being shot, the bottle top hit my hand hard and the tea started foaming out, so I quickly poured some of it into a glass and tasted a little. It was quite a pleasant taste and I started thinking about the build up of gas in the bottle, the only things that could possibly have caused this is that there was a lot of sugar in the tea and some slices of lime in the bottle, so these must have been fermenting for a long time in the fridge, alcoholic tea?

I am not a chemical engineer myself, but as a layman I always thought that any fermentation process had to take place in warm temperatures and not in the cool temperature of a fridge, but I am just a legless fool, so what do I know!

01 Jan, 2009: New Year Bangkok - Drunks, fireworks and the inevitable

New Years Eve here in Bangkok and I just sat at my usual place at the front of my apartment block and drank beer all evening. Some of the Thai people that were still around, got together nearby, started playing very loud music and most were legless very early on in the evening. I just kept myself to myself as is my way here and I just watched all of these Thai drunks making even more of a fool of themselves than they normally do.

I returned to my room one hour before midnight, I made myself something to eat, poured myself a whisky and then just sat on my front patio watching and listening to all of the drunks still making a noise and trying to outdo each other. Then just before midnight, I poured the last of my whisky into my glass, put 'Auld Lang Syne' playing on my computer, which I could barely hear with the racket going on around outside and I toasted the New Year. At midnight the legless drunken revellers outside started setting fireworks off indiscriminately and the bangs, flashes and cracks just seemed to incite them to set off even more.

All of this noise does nothing for me, so I just went back inside my room, closed the door, finished my whisky and then fell asleep. When I awoke this morning, I went straight to my computer, checked my email and then started doing my search engine work for my websites, but seeing the news headlines on some of the search engines, I went to my BBC RSS input and read about a major fire at a nightclub in Bangkok. Dozens of people died here just after midnight last night at a nightclub in Thong Lor, Bangkok. I am afraid that this news incident here did not surprise me at all, when you enclose a large group of drunks, like I had seen the previous evening, in a small space with fireworks on the premises, then what do you really expect?

30 Dec, 2008: Time for a change to my layouts

I have had my Christmas theme websites displayed for over a month now and with Xmas this year already well past, I have been spending time over the last couple of days modifying my websites and webpages and even some of the backgrounds, to remove all reference to Xmas. For the New Year this year I shall not be changing the layouts much, just a few words wishing everyone a 'Happy New Year' and that should be fine.

Talking of the New Year, it is the time of year here in Thailand when Bangkok is almost deserted, just about all of the Thais here in Bangkok make their way back to their provinces of origin for the family get together for the New Year and this year the exodus has started already, by New Year's Eve Bangkok will be just like a deserted seaside resort town out of season. I personally quite like it like this way, I feel like I have a lot more breathing space around me at this time of year and I can spend a fairly quiet night outside on New Year's Eve just getting slowly sozzled at my own pace

Well, I hope that this New Year has some good luck in store for me, because I could certainly do with some for a change. Here's to wishing everyone reading this blog 'A very happy New Year for 2009'

25 Dec, 2008: Later Christmas day , Hazy cloud cover over Bangkok

My nap until lunchtime this morning lasted until 5 pm this evening, so I think that the whisky was working overtime on me. At least when I woke up this evening there was no toothache, maybe it was just a passing thing in the morning or the whisky has killed the nerve in it

So I just had time this evening to get ready and then go out to the front for my evening beer break, my Xmas dinner was already prepared in my room, but just as I liked to do in the UK, I like to have a couple of beers before my Xmas dinner, it gives me a better appetite. Sitting outside again this evening and looking at the sky, there was still a hazy cloud covering over Bangkok so I could not see Venus again this evening, I could see the clock at the cafe again so I didn't have to rely on Venus as my clock tonight, which was just as well because I couldn't see it anyway.

25 Dec, 2008: Christmas day, toothache and whisky

After finishing my blog post last night, I immediately fell sideways onto my bed in an undisputed legless stupour, I am really not used to drinking whisky these days

Then I woke up this morning at 5 am with an excruciating pain in one of my rear broken teeth, so I quickly found my packet of paracetomol tablets that I keep handy for emergencies and I put a tablet in my mouth, but the only drink that I could find easily without putting my leg on was the remains of the whisky that I had been drinking last night, so I swilled the tablet down quickly, but the pain was still really very bad and I know that it takes time for the tablet to work, I still had quite a bit of whisky left in my glass then so I thought that if I swilled some of it over the tooth that was hurting, maybe it would help a little

The whisky did help me very quickly and eventually the paracetamol also kicked in and the pain subsided completely. The problem then, was that my glass was empty and I now had a taste for the whisky again

, I don't personally consider myself to be an alcoholic, but starting on the whisky again at 5 am in the morning had me wondering, I justified this to myself by telling myself that it is Xmas now and you don't have toothache everyday, but would this be normal for anyone else?

Well, the whisky has made me tired again now, so I think that I should take another nap until lunchtime today, it is Xmas day after all and nothing really to do, so just make the most of it!

24 Dec, 2008: Xmas Eve and the star act of the night didn't show up

I thought that I had planned everything and budgeted for today very well. When I awoke this morning, I went to the nearest supermarket and bought some special food for Xmas dinner for myself for tomorrow, I then returned to the minimart shop in my apartment block and purchased a large bottle of whisky for myself to celebrate Christmas with Venus as I had planned for this evening

. I tested the whisky in the early afternoon just to check that it was up to the expected standard

and then I proceeded to prepare my food ready for Xmas dinner the next day.

At my usual time in the early evening I went outside with my now full whisky and soda glass in my hand and I then made my way to my usual evening drinking venue. I wished the other people closeby there a 'Merry Xmas' and I sat at my usual seat and started waiting for Venus to appear below the overhead canopy. I could check the time easily this evening because the nearby cafe had moved the clock back to it's normal position again and when it got to 20:15 pm I started wondering why Venus had not appeared yet? I then walked out onto the road at the front of the block and there was no sign of Venus anywhere in the night sky at all tonight and taking a good look at the sky this evening I could see that it was covered in a hazy cloud, so all of my plans to wish Venus a 'Merry Xmas' with whisky on Xmas Eve were then shattered.

The night was not a total disaster though, one of the other occupants of the apartment block came to sit outside together with me later and we spent a reasonably long fairly legless night over a couple of beers talking about life in Thailand in general.

The Legless Fool - Missing the star of the evening this Xmas - Merry Xmas to all

23 Dec, 2008: A legless trauma and legless mistakes

After my break for a couple of beers yesterday evening, I sat back down again at my computer and started reading through my main webpage about my book on my website and I just picked out a couple of words from some of the content on there, I chose 'Legless' from the title of the book and also the word 'trauma' from the main content, where I had mentioned that I had gone through an emotional trauma in the book and I then fed them into one of the major search engines. Well! My book came up number one on the first page of the search engine results pages (SERPs) on this search engine. So I then tried the same words with all of the other major search engines and I got exactly the same results with all of them.

So just like the search engines linked the words 'Legless fool' to me and that is the reason why I started using the name a long time ago, I am now also linked to the words 'Legless trauma'. I have absolutely no idea what a 'legless trauma' is or is supposedly meant to be, but the major search engines have now made me and my book the internet/web number one authority on the subject

Then just a little while later, after being quite surprised at the way that the search engines had linked these two words together with my book webpage, I tried two other words from my book webpage content on a search, 'legless' and 'mistakes' and once again my book webpage came on the first results page from all of the search engines. So trying to work this out logically now, I think that I must have somewhere in the region of about five thousand keywords to use for all of my websites now, just as long as one of the words in each case is 'legless'

22 Dec, 2008: Venus: My evening beer clock

About one week ago now I dropped my wristwatch on the floor in my room and it just quickly stopped working, then shaking it about a bit I could hear that something was rattling around inside it, so I thought that I must have unseated the battery. I don't personally have the tools available in my room to take the back off the watch and reseat the battery myself and I was not going to travel to some watch repair shop about 1km away, pay for the return transport and probably some extortionate price for the reseating of the battery in my watch, I don't need the watch much anyway because I have the time on my computer in my room and the money that I save on not having it repaired would be far more usefully spent on beer

At about 18:30 pm each evening I usually take a break from my internet/computer work, I sit at the front of my apartment block and have a couple of beers in front of the small shop here, they close each evening at 21:00 pm, so I don't have too much time before they close for the night. I usually spend a couple of hours relaxing each evening with these beers at the front, before I make my way back to my room and start my internet work again. But, with not having my watch now it is a little bit of a problem knowing just how long that I have been sitting out there, there is a small cafe at the other end of the apartment block and I have been squinting at the small clock that they keep on a shelf there each night just to check what time it is and to make sure that I get my last beer before the shop closes

Whilst I am having this beer break each evening, I always watch Venus descend into the Western sky and eventually disappear behind some trees in a garden opposite. Over quite a few nights now, just out of curiosity, I glanced at the clock when Venus just appeared below the overhead canopy at the front of the shop and also when it eventually disappeared behind the trees opposite and I made a mental note of these times.

This evening when I went out for my beer break though, I bought a beer at the shop, sat at my usual position at the front and I tried to check the time at the cafe, but this evening they had moved the clock which was a little bit frustrating for me. But I sat there drinking my beer as usual anyway and when Venus appeared in the sky below the overhead canopy, I knew from experience then that it was 20:00 pm, so I still had another hour to go before the shop closed! When Venus eventually disappeared behind the trees opposite a while later, I knew that it was 20:30 pm and that I had just thirty more minutes to buy another beer before the shop closed, so I could pace myself fairly well. Well, they say that 'necessity is the mother of invention', so I just use Venus as my evening beer clock now, it is certainly a lot cheaper than getting my watch fixed and probably more accurate anyway!

21 Dec, 2008: Christmas alone and quite happy with it

For the first time that I can remember in my life, I am actually going to be spending Christmas alone this year, most days are the same to me nowadays anyway so Xmas is not going to be any different and it is nothing special for me these days. I am just pleased that this year for the first time in many years, I shall not have to put up with people around me falsely trying to show that they care for me and making false wishes to me for a 'Merry Xmas and a happy New Year' whilst syphoning my money off secretly in the background.

As I have said in one of my previous posts, I shall treat myself to a bottle of whisky this Christmas and I shall drink a toast to Venus as it descends in the Western sky over Xmas. I don't want anybody to pity me on here, it was my choice to stay alone this year and I have achieved what I set out to do six months ago, so it is a very good Christmas for me now and I hope that everyone reading this blog has a very good Xmas too.

You are allowed to get legless this holiday season, but be careful! Try not to get literally legless like me

19 Dec, 2008: Scam games of chess

Even though I haven't mentioned them on here for a while now, I still have about half a dozen scammers on the go at any one time, it just amuses me playing with these sick fraudsters when I have finished my serious internet work for the day. I have stated on my anti-scam webpage at http://expostfacto.co.uk/Advancefeefraud.html that the people who operate these scams like to use uppercase characters in their email subject lines and for me now seeing this is a real giveaway, whenever I see a new email using uppercase characters in the subject, I know that I should file it in my 'scam directory' for amusement later.

Well maybe some of these internet scammers have been reading my anti-scam webpage themselves already, because the use of uppercase characters by these people has been reducing quite a lot lately. What seems to be their latest gimmick now, is to use titles in front of their names like Reverend or Doctor or sometimes both together like: Rev. Dr. William Smith, they also like to use English names too! I think that in their minds these titles will give them more legitimacy when their potential victims receive and read their emails. Having received many of these titled scammers emails now, I think that I should play a new game of one-upmanship with them and in my replies I should use the title of 'Sir' or 'Archbishop', I would find that quite amusing.

Or, maybe even like the scammers sometimes do, I could use both of the titles together and I could become Archbishop, Sir Ian Reed and by using a knight and a bishop together, maybe I could get a 'Checkmate' in their game faster.

Well I have to go now, I have to prepare for the diplomatic courier that is arriving here in Bangkok tomorrow with my $10,000,000.00 (Ten Million US Dollars only)

18 Dec, 2008: Legless in Thailand at Christmas

One week before Christmas and I am doing everything that I possibly can with my websites and search engine rankings to try and get my book Legless in Thailand noticed and hopefully sell some more copies over this Xmas period. My book has been available for almost two years now and other than someone informing me that they had bought a copy, I have not received one penny from my publishers yet. I know that I am not a professional writer, but for the reasonable price that my book is selling for, you can get a few hours of entertainment from my stupid actions/life in the story.

If someone does receive my book as a Xmas present this year, then after the holidays they could honestly tell their friends that they got Legless in Thailand at Christmas and at least it would be an interesting topic of conversation when they start back at work

Well I shall definitely be legless in Thailand this Christmas and probably at the New Year too, I have decided to treat myself to a bottle of whisky for the holidays and "To hell with the expence!" I have yet to spend an evening in Bangkok watching Venus set in the West with a glass of whisky in my hand so it will definitely be a first for me, with lots of beer chasers of course!

16 Dec, 2008: Fool's musings on his perfect living location

This evening I took a break from my internet and computer work to sit outside for a couple of hours and have a beer, this has become a daily routine for me now and I really look forward to this break each day. Sitting outside this evening, the climate was just wonderful, the perfect temperature for me and no humidity at all, I was sitting there drinking my beer and watching Venus disappear over the horizon when a thought came into my mind "Wouldn't it be nice to find somewhere that had evenings like this every night."

Still sitting there mulling this over in my mind and enjoying my cool beer on this pleasant evening, I then started thinking logically about if there could possibly be such a place in this world. Then my world navigation systems experience kicked in and told me that there could not possibly be such a place, because of the inclination of the earth's axis and it's constant rotation around the sun, nowhere on earth could maintain a constant temperature and climate all year round. So then I started thinking about a place that would have what I personally consider a fairly reasonable fluctuation of temperature and climate and this is what I thought about for the next couple of hours until I finished my beer.

Sitting outside this evening and having no computer at hand, the only conclusion that I could come up with in my head was to possibly try and live somewhere near one of the earth's calculated tropical lines (Cancer or Capricorn) at least there, I would be in a fairly warm climate which I personally would prefer, and the variations of temperature from one season to another would not be too great. Thinking about this passed the time this evening quite well and I thought that it would be an interesting topic of conversation for this blog tonight, the beer always helps me to think

I shall have to spend more time on the internet now trying to find the perfect place in the world for me, according to my new criteria and ideas

Just in passing, someone walked passed me this evening and mentioned the date, I then realised that tonight is my 22nd wedding anniversary, it is just unfortunate that we have been separated for 19 years and that my wife will not give me a divorce without a box full of money up front (Thai ---Censored!---).

12 Dec, 2008: Why is legless popular?

Working with the search engines as I do and checking my keywords daily, I find it quite amazing why people who are not physically legless themselves use the word 'legless' on their websites and in their names. I would never have thought about the word if I were not literally legless myself, but now it seems to be the word most descriptive and applicable for me. Because there are so many other people using this word on the internet, then any website connected with this word is quite competitive on the web now and luckily I opened this legless blog quite a while ago, because there are quite a few others out there that would like this blog name and it's high ranking position on the search engines. I still don't really understand what the attraction of the word legless is, but if it helps me to sell my Legless in Thailand book then I am quite happy with it.

My name to my close friends is 'Legless' now and I personally find it quite amusing. The way that I look at it is that I am saddled with being legless for life now, so if you have got it then use it if you can

I believe that it is a full moon tonight, well, I hope that it affects me and starts my teeth growing again because I seem to be losing them at a steady rate lately

06 Dec, 2008: The pub, a rock band and my son Getting pickled

Yesterday having successfully gotten my money from the UK bank for the last time, I felt that I needed a night out for a change, so I went to my Bangkok local. On arrival at the pub the staff where doing a major move around of all of the furniture in there, so I just got myself a pint and went to sit outside where I could have a smoke, a pick-up truck arrived a short while later and a group of guys started unloading musical instruments, drums, amplifiers, etc. and carrying them into the pub, one of the guys, a Westerner, came and sat down with a few of us there and it turned out that he was the leader of a group 'Tommy and the Pestle Rock Band' and they were playing at the pub that night. Tommy was quite a good character, he was originally from France but like me, he had lived in Thailand for a very long time. I like music anyway, so I thought that this was turning out to be quite a good night and I was looking forward to listening to the music.

Lots of people soon started arriving at the pub and it very quickly got filled up inside the bar, so I remained seated outside which suited me anyway because I can smoke there. After a while listening to the band, someone behind me said "Hello there" and as I turned around to see who it was, I was very surprised to see my eldest son. My eldest son Douglas, I had not seen or heard from for about three years, so it was quite a pleasant surprise. He then told me that his wife and him had gone to a nearby bar that they sometimes used but found that it was closed that night, so he was going to go home when his wife suggested going to the Pickled Liver and she also said that because that day was father's day in Thailand (the King's birthday) maybe they would see me at the pub and it turned out to be right, even if it was just a coincidence. So we had quite a pleasant night talking together listening to the music and Nick the pub landlord had put some free food on that night, so we had food too.

So what just started out for me as a personal treat for a couple of quiet beers, turned into a very good night indeed.

02 Dec, 2008: Even the heavens are smiling at me

I was sitting outside drinking beer alone at the front of my apartment block as I usually do last night, every night I just sit there thinking about my books, stories, life and what to write on this blog and every night I always watch Venus descend into the Western sky and gradually disappear. But last night I was treated to a pleasant and slightly amusing sight, for a few days now I have watched Venus and Jupiter together disappear into the Western sky, but last night the crescent moon aligned with them too and it gave the impression of a smiling face, so I thought to myself "Even the heavens are amused at this legless fool".

Reading on the internet later, I found out that this alignment of the Moon, Venus and Jupiter will not happen again until the year 2052 and I do not think that I shall be around to see the next alignment legless or not

01 Dec, 2008: It looks like a cold Christmas is on the cards here

It was really very cold here last night, relatively cold for here that is, for the first time since I have been in my new room in Bangkok, I had to switch the ceiling fan off last night and I even had to don the duvet on the bed, that up until now has just been an accessory that I never use. I checked on the internet this morning and the BBC temperature records for Bangkok last night showed a low of 19 C, but my automatic body thermometer and the stump of my amputated leg which is very susceptible to the cold, told me that it was around 16 - 17 C and I know which report I believe

Usually Xmas time is the coldest time of year here in Thailand and I have known it to drop to about 14 C in the nights here before, but with the cold nights starting this early, this year may be much colder than I have ever experienced here before, I think that I had better start looking for a hot-water bottle soon, if they sell such a thing here!

On a more sombre note now, I have been informed on the internet that today is world AIDS day, I am not sure if it is just an AIDS awareness day or if there is more to it than that, but it did remind me of something though, something that is always close to me anyway. A person very, very close to me before and one of the characters in my book Legless in Thailand named 'Phetchomphu' (the Thai name for Pink Diamond), was HIV positive and almost exactly two years ago now she died whilst I was out of the country on a visa trip to Penang.

'Pet' was the last girl that I had any real feelings for and I still wear the medallion around my neck that she gave to me three years ago now.

30 Nov, 2008: Thailand in the world news and I am still just legless here

The people occupying the airports here seem to be making headlines around the world, whilst they are economically destroying the country that they supposedly love. I wish that I could get that much publicity for my Legless in Thailand book, but I don't think that it would quite get the same reaction from the media if some legless westerner tried to occupy one of the airports alone waving a book instead of banners

If I had more than one battered copy of my book, I may even be tempted to give some to the demonstrators and explain to them that my story supports their cause, then maybe they would wave it for me in front of all of the foreign news cameras there

Well, I suppose I can just hope now that my internet campaign for my book picks up at Christmas and people buy my book as a Xmas present for someone, maybe for one of their friends who are stuck here because of the problems at the airports, or maybe people will now be doing more searches on the internet for Thailand and find my websites, then at least one thing good could come out of all of this extra publicity

28 Nov, 2008: Still working on the HSBC bank account closure problem

I have been quiet for a few days because I am still actively trying to sort out the situation that my stupid, irresponsible HSBC bank in UK has put me in. I returned to the British embassy in Bangkok on Monday and the helpful staff member there saw to me immediately and just as he promised he gave me the contact information for the UK forces pensions paymaster. So immediately I returned to my room and sent an email to them. They replied quite quickly and sent a form by attachment to email for me to fill in and return to them. The form however, was for me to have my RAF pension paid directly into a Thai bank account, this then posed another problem for me because I do not have a Thai bank account due to the fact that with the constant changes in the Thai government, they keep changing the rules about foreigners with none residential status holding bank accounts in Thailand.

The only idea that I could come up with was for me to go and see my English friend Peter who runs a travel agency in Bangkok, SP Thai Connections and see if his Thai wife could stand as a local guarantor for me to open a bank account in Thailand. When I arrived at their office, they readily agreed to help me with this and because Peter's wife Mon, was very well known by the bank that they use for their business, with her help and her acting as my guarantor, I very quickly managed to open a new account with Bangkok Bank, the bank was just fifty metres away from their office so it was very easy. After opening the bank account and returning to their office, Mon made me a cup of tea and Peter and I then started talking about his travel business. It was only then that I heard from him that there was problems that day at Bangkok airport with a group of demonstrators occupying the airport and closing it down, I don't have a TV and this was all new for me and for the rest of the time that I spent in their office there were many people coming in asking when the airport was going to be opened again and Peter could only answer them truthfully saying that he didn't know and neither did the airlines.

On my eventual return back to my room that day, I quickly filled in the form from the forces paymaster, wrote the details of my new bank account in Thailand for them and quickly sent it as an attachment to email to them. So hopefully now my pension should be switched from HSBC bank to Bangkok bank in time for my January payment. The next problem for me is that the standing charges from my HSBC debit card for my UK website hosting will stop and I now have to find a way to pay them from Thailand, to stop them shutting down my websites, including this blog

22 Nov, 2008: Back from Vientiane and straight into the mire

My trip to Vientiane went quite smoothly again, I got my new Thai visa and I met some new friends staying in the same guesthouse as me doing the same thing. We spent a lot of time there just sitting around, drinking beer and telling each other about our personal experiences, many of the people had very similar stories to tell and a common denominator soon emerged which linked everyone there together, which was: 'Censored'.

I eventually arrived back at my room in Bangkok from Vientiane at around lunchtime on 20th November and there was an official looking letter waiting for me in my room from my bank HSBC in UK. The letter stated that 'the bank had recently done a review of my account and they no longer wish to provide me with banking facilities and will close my account on the 10th December'. No other explanation or reasons were given for this decision and as my bank is the sole access to my pensions they are cutting off my only means of income. Living in Thailand I cannot open a bank account with any other UK bank for my UK pensions to be paid into from here. So in desparation at this totally unprovoked and stupid move by my bank again, I contacted the British Embassy in Bangkok to see if they could help me with this and also to warn them that I may need their assistance in the future if no solution can be found to this stupid, irresponsible HSBC UK bank move. The consular staff at the Embassy were very helpful and were themselves amazed that HSBC bank could act so irresponsibly with someone in my position. One of the Vice Consuls at the Embassy informed me that he also was receiving a UK forces pension and he asked me to return to the Embassy on Monday and he will give me more information and contacts with the UK armed forces pensions section to work out a solution for this problem. So hopefully I can get this latest setback sorted out before Christmas.

15 Nov, 2008: Hot to trot for my next trip

The last two months have passed quite quickly and it is now time for me to travel out of the country again. I have everything prepared this time though, it is much easier for me living in Bangkok again now. For the first time, I have got my Laos visa in advance from the Laos Embassy here, so no problems queing at immigration on the Laos side of the 'Friendship Bridge' this time. I have my train ticket to Nong Khai already too, so today I am just packing a small bag and making sandwiches to take with me and I shall be on train No. 69 to Nong Khai tomorrow evening at 20:00. I am quite looking forward to it because I like the Laos people and everyone at the Viengsavanh guesthouse, Vientiane where I stay in Vientiane, knows me now. The only thing that I shall miss whilst I am away is my internet connection, because the nearest internet cafe to where I stay in Vientiane is about 1 km distance and it is quite a walk for me on my prosthesis (false leg) (Long John Slither 'n' Stumble)

I shall also have to get my mind back into the Laos currency (Kip) again now, it always sounds so expensive when I order a large bottle of Beer Lao and it costs me 8,000 Kip, but it is only the equivalent of 32 Thai Baht and it is really quite cheap. I hope that the weather in Vientiane is the same as Bangkok now, it should be and maybe even slightly cooler because it is much further North, so it should be even more refreshing than here, I shall tell you all about it when I get back here, probably on Thursday, 20th November. I hope that I do not have too much to write about then, I just want this trip to be a good break for me and not a new adventure with lots of unforeseen incidents happening, even though that is what I am used to now

13 Nov, 2008: Pleasant balmy evenings here now

The evenings here now are very pleasant indeed, the rains have stopped and the humidity is at a very low level now. It reminds me of the evenings that I used to enjoy in UK, usually around the end of May or the beginning of June in UK, I used to love going to the local pub in the early evenings and sit in the garden there with a cool pint of real ale in the unusual pleasant temperatures at that time of year there. It is the same here in Thailand now and that is why this time of year is usually the start of the high tourist season here. Although the evenings are quite pleasant now, unlike the UK in spring, it still gets dark relatively early here, usually about 18:30 at this time of year, but I still enjoy sitting outside, enjoying my first beer of the evening and watching the sun go down in this pleasant climate at this time of year.

11 Nov, 2008: Armistice Day - 90th Anniversary

Today is the 90th anniversary of Armistice day in Europe 1918. I personally always make a point of acknowledging/remembering what our forefathers did for us ninety years ago now. The total number of our forces killed and injured in that war was 2,367,000. Even though this is sometimes still referred to as the 'Great war', there was more to come 21 years later. Maybe there is a cycle to this, or maybe someone is specifically created/born to cause the human race as a whole problems every so often.

In comparison, we have lived free of any global conflict for more than sixty years now, but is this just the calm before the storm? I personally attribute our present global war free existance for so many years to the development of Nuclear weapons as a deterrent to any future Hitler or the like emerging again. I know that this subject is very controversial, but I think that the existance of a nuclear deterrent is just that, a deterrent to any would be morons in any country with grandiose ideas of themselves. We do still have relatively minor wars in many parts of the world all of the time, but the vast majority of the people in the world can live their daily lives relatively unaffected by these distant skirmishes.

But now we are faced with a new kind of threat to our lives, 'world terrorist factions'. Unlike the past, this is not just one country visibly threatening others, these people are masters of the covert way of war. They could be your friends or next door neighbours and you would never know until they decide, or are ordered to carry out attacks in the name of 'whatever'. Nuclear deterrance is not a deterrent to them, because they are not geographically stable in any particular location. The biggest problem that the world as a whole faces now, is if these terrorists can acquire weapons of mass destruction (WMD) to ultimately achieve their aims. We can fairly effectively monitor countries as a threat, but we cannot monitor individuals.

To give you an example of what I am talking about here, I personally have the knowledge and ability, given the required materials, to assemble/produce a tactical nuclear (thermo-nuclear) device given about three to four weeks to do it and I don't consider myself to be that unique, so if I could do it, then maybe some of these 'terrorist crazies' could too, with access to the necessary materials. Fortunately, many of the required materials to construct a nuclear device are very strictly controlled and can be detected fairly easily with the right equipment, but with the break up of some areas of a former nuclear power, maybe these materials are not as difficult to acquire anymore.

I wondered off the initial topic a little there, as is my way, but I would now like to return to the remembrance of those people who gave their all for us to live our lives in relative freedom as we do today.

Talking of wars around the world, the Congo has just erupted into a state of war and irrespective of the factions involved, the people that suffer the most in these conflicts are the civilians. Many people are now fleeing their homes to get away from any potential battle zones and these people still have to live and take care of their children. Even if they personally have not been physically injured, the psychological wounds from an experience like this are far more damaging than any physical wounds, last a lost longer and are a lot more difficult to heal. There are some concerned people and organisations that try to help in these situations, but they do not have sufficient funds readily available to take care of everyone involved. For the innocent people that are in danger in the Congo at this time, then one of the best things to ease their psychological wounds is just to know that other people care about them. Please click on the banner below if you think that you could help.

09 Nov, 2008: The whistling fool

I went to the pub again on Friday evening for the first time in about three weeks. I treated myself because I managed to get my money again before my bank got their hands on it

In the pub, everyone greeted me and asked me where I had been, so I told them that I didn't have the money to go out a lot these days. I then noticed that the barman (Lee) was wearing a poppy and I asked him where I could get one, so he then brought a box of poppies and a collection box from the far end of the bar and I bought one. This is usually something that I do religiously at this time of year every year, but the poppies are difficult to find in Thailand and nobody here understands the reason for it anyway.

I woke up reasonably early this morning and started doing my search engine rankings and whilst I was sitting at my computer a tune came into my head and I started whistling it, it was only after a short while that I suddenly realised 'Hey, I can whistle again!' For Nine months now, ever since I got the Ramsay Hunt Syndrome (RHS), I haven't been able to whistle and they state on the internet about this, that when you can actually whistle again, it is a sure sign that the RHS has finally finished.

05 Nov, 2008: The best of England on one website

I have been quiet again on here for a while, because I have been trying to get back into my writing mode and start working on my Asian Diaries again. I find that I am still not quite in the right mood for it though at the moment, but I have been running through my memories about that time and on one of my returns to England after finishing a project in Thailand, I was installing a new anti-aircraft defence simulator system (ADT3) at an army base named Larkhill which was very adjacent to Stonehenge. Running over this in my mind, I remember staying at a pub/guesthouse in the nearby town and I really enjoyed staying there. They used to serve up some marvellous lunches and I would top them off with a glass of port and a large slice of Stilton which they served, 'The Good Old Days'. Thinking about this, it annoyed me that I could not for the life of me remember the name of the town and I used to stay there quite regularly.

I get quite annoyed with myself when I cannot remember something that I should quite easily remember and it smouldered inside of me. Eventually, I decided to look at a map of England on the internet to clear my mind, so I did a search on Google for maps of England and it came up with many websites, I picked one that looked favourable and on this site I quite soon found 'Stonehenge' and consequently I found the name of the town that I used to stay in 'Amesbury'. I could relax then having finally cleared this in my mind, so I then started looking around this new website and it was very, very good, the large amount of information on there about many parts of England and good places to visit was very interesting and I spent a long time going over many places that I have visited before, it even had pictures of my home town 'St Helens' on there, it is a very comprehensive website and very well put together. They even have lists of the cheapest places to stay, hotels and guesthouses, in almost all locations too. So today I decided that I would tell you about this excellent website, the name of the website is: http://www.picturesofengland.com and it really is well worth a visit, even if you think that you already know England quite well, it is full of facts and useful information. I have linked to this website on all of my own websites now.

Oh, I almost forgot! Today is Guy Fawkes day, watch out for strange flying objects and things that go bang in the night.

31 Oct, 2008: Halloween, preparing for Christmas and New Year

I try to keep a seasonal touch on my websites at this time of year, so I am spending Halloween preparing my website backgrounds and content for Xmas at the moment. I normally implement the changes at the start of November, so I have to get them ready for tomorrow. I don't usually celebrate Halloween, but I shall have my 13 beers tonight just to be on the safe side, I wouldn't want to upset the spooks, so I shall just have to force myself to drink them all whilst I am working legless at my computer

29 Oct, 2008: Advantages of a high profile on the web / Internet

I first decided to create a high profile on the internet about two and a half years ago when the final draft of my first book Legless in Thailand was completed. I figured that to try and sell my book effectively, I would have to have a reasonable web/internet presence for the book title 'Legless in Thailand' and also for my writing name 'John McMiken'. It has only recently started to really kick in properly after a couple of years of very hard work aimed at the search engines and search engine rankings for my websites and related keywords.

One of the side effects of this, is that my real name 'Ian Reed' has also become quite high profile on the web / internet too and although that doesn't really help my book, one thing that it does help, is that I am very easy to find for someone looking for me. A result of this is that late yesterday evening I received an email from someone claiming to be searching for the next-of-kin to a recently deceased person in the UK and telling me that I was the beneficiary to a reasonable amount of money, about £500 ($1,000). But with my daily pastime of playing with internet scammers, I first thought that this was just another scam using a new tactic, but reading the email carefully, they stated that they were also in touch with my younger brother and younger sister and quoted their names correctly, even using my sister's married name. They went on to say that the deceased person was related to my mother and had the surname of McMiken.

So hopefully I should be receiving a little bit of extra beer money soon and all because of my high profile on the internet, I just have to beat my bank to it

. I shall keep you updated with further developments on this.

24 Oct, 2008: Oranges and lemons

During the day I usually drink lots of tea and I really find lemon/lime tea very refreshing, yesterday though I ran out of limes, so I had to go tyo a nearby supermarket to replenish them. At the supermarket I routed about in the fruit section and eventually I found a large packet of what looked like large limes and purchased them, I also topped up my beer stock whilst I was there.

This morning I put the kettle on, put a tea bag in my cup, opened the packet of 'limes', took one out and sliced a large portion off ready to squeeze into my tea cup, but then I got a shock, it wasn't a lime at all, it was a small orange. Why Thai oranges are green I don't know, I never usually buy them and the writing on the packet is in Thai, so I didn't try to read it, so then I just thought "Oh what the hell!" and I made myself a cup of orange tea, it was certainly different and a new taste, not one that I want to get used to though. Today I had to go back to the supermarket anyway, because it is the nearest place to me with an ATM machine and I had to beat my bank to my money again. Whilst I was there, I did buy a few packets of real limes today and I made a mental note of where they are stacked, because they are not stacked with the normal fruit, they are kept on a chiller shelf. I like to make lemon/lime tea to keep as a cool drink in my fridge too, it is really refreshing on hot days here and I restrict myself to only drinking beer after 18:00 when the sun is just going down.

24 Oct, 2008: Am I the only amputee on the web that drinks beer?

It has been quiet on this blog for a while, mainly because I have had nothing of real interest to talk about, but last night I was doing my usual SEO and search engine result ranking work and I was trying some of the words in the content of my websites on them. The words that I tried were mainly from my new 'Legless Fool' website and I used the words 'legless beer drinker' which really sort of describes me and I was surprised that my site came up number one on almost all of the search engines, sometimes even number one and number two including one of my other sites. Just like the search engines came up with my internet name of 'Legless Fool' it seems that now I am also classified as the number one legless beer drinker on the web.

I have mixed feelings about this though, I am pleased that the search engines are picking up on my new website quickly, but being classified as the number one legless beer drinker is not really a good reputation, but who would do a search for a legless beer drinker anyway? So maybe it is just something that I have to accept and maybe it is something that I can talk about with my friends the next time that I go down to the pub

18 Oct, 2008: Unprofessional web hosting and domain registration

Even though my unprofessional, irresponsible web hosts Fasthosts UK closed my web hosting down one month ago, they still have about eight of my domain names registered which are paid for one year in advance. The search engines are still picking these domain names up, but they are redirected to the now defunct Legless Headquarters website. So this evening, I decided to login to Fasthosts UK and change the redirection of my domain names that they have, but when I login, I am just redirected to an accounts page that asks me to pay for the hosting that they have already closed down and they will not let me access control over any of my domain names that are paid for in advance. So I cannot now change the redirection of any of my domain names with them because of the total unprofessionalism of the Fasthosts UK company.

The domain names that I purchased from them were under their subsidiary domain www.ukreg.com and I used them for this because they appeared to be considerably cheaper for domain name registration than other companies in the UK. Well now I know why, because they are just a company that is totally unprofessional and has absolutely no idea about customer service. Why a problem with my hosting with them should cut me off from access to my prepaid domain names with them is completely illogical to me but I now expect it from this useless, second-rate outfit. So if anyone in UK reading this blog is thinking about registering a domain name or hosting a website, then from my experience I recommend that you avoid using www.ukreg.com or Fasthosts UK like the plague.

Ultimately though they will pay for what they have done to me, because I shall not renew any of the domains that they hold for me when they expire, because they are relatively superfluous for me now anyway.

17 Oct, 2008: Legless blog anniversary

It was only whilst I was tidying up some of my archives and fixing some of the links, that I realised that this blog is one year old today. I remember starting it on the farm in Nakhon Sawan a year ago, but many other things have happened since then and I had forgotten the date that I actually started this blog. There have been many revelations for me over the last year and consequently I am now residing in Bangkok. Because I just write what is in my head at the time, I can't remember every post that I have written on this blog, I do remember some of the things that were important to me, but I cannot remember all of the 'words of wisdom' that I have written over this period, much of it depends on what is foremost in my brain at the time and many things can affect that, even the surplus or lack of beer

Hopefully the next year will be different, because I am more in control of my life now than I have been for many years before. The one thing that I cannot control however, is the stupid antics that my bank plays with me, so I am not as much in control of my life as I would like to be. The only way that I can be sure of saving money these days is to take my money out of the bank as quickly as possible after it goes in, before the bank can get their hands on it. It is a ludicrous situation really, I can't save money in the bank for fear of what they may do with it, so my only way to save money now is to keep cash around me and take it out of the bank at the earliest opportunity. I hope that no burglars in Thailand are reading this blog

15 Oct, 2008: Was part of my brain in my left leg?

Just after I had my left leg amputated a few years ago, I then started having problems with many other things. My normal logic didn't seem to be functioning as it used to before and I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, many of these can be read about in my book 'Legless in Thailand'. I am now trying to analyse some of the things that I did at that time and compared to the way that I think now, I was acting completely irresponsibly and without any logic at all. Reflecting on all of this, the only conclusion that I can come up with, is that part of my brain cells were lost in the left leg that was amputated and they have just started to regenerate again now, where? I am not sure, but it surely isn't in the part of my left leg that is missing, unless my regenerated brain cells are 'phantom' just like the pains and itches that I still get there

14 Oct, 2008: Scam update

The scams that I told you about on a previous post, all went as semi-expected. The $X millions due into my account, came under a 'stop order' as I expected, but this time the so-called stop order was due to some government tax requirement and they wanted $7,750 to clear it, these are a very greedy group on this scam. Obviously, that was the point at which I gave up on that scam. The lucky draw scam that requested my bank details, I never heard from again, so I don't know what their game was really.

The scam that wants to put some finance into my bank is still going on and I am quite surprised at the amount that they want to put in my bank, they intend to put in two installments of £48,000 that would be quite nice for me, because the first thing that I would do is clear off my credit card debt and that would get my bank off my back. I consulted my Nigerian friend about this one, because I couldn't understand why they would want to put money in my bank, but he informed me that it was a money laundering trick with some stolen funds and if I forwarded the money onwards then I would be guilty of money laundering, so he advised me to just hang on to the money when it gets in my account and let the scammers get frustrated. That sounds good to me!

12 Oct, 2008: Benefits of living alone

This is the first time that I have intentionally lived alone within the last 36 years and I am now just realising some of the benefits of this. Because I am now retired and I do not have to keep to any particular timetable, I work on my computer and websites when I want to, I sleep when I want to and money permitting, I drink beer when I want to. Oh yes, I almost forgot! I do eat sometimes too

. Because I am in a room on my own and it is quite hot here in Thailand, I keep my curtains closed, I switch the fan on and just lounge around legless and in the nude, I don't receive any visitors, so it is not a problem for me. I would imagine that if any of the Thai people around here knew about this, they would think what a strange character Legless is! Just sitting in his room all day nude at his computer, sleeping when he feels like and drinking beer when he wants to, I wonder why he doesn't want to mix with other people like we do?

Well, everyone to their own! I am finding that I quite like this semi-reclusive lifestyle now, the only person that I have to answer to is myself and the only people that I ever really talk to are my readers on this blog and apart from the odd one or two of you, the conversation is quite one-sided

11 Oct, 2008: Man cannot live on beer alone, unfortunately!

My last pot of hotpot was drained yesterday, so today I had to go and spend some of my precious beer money on relatively irrelevant things like food and spices so that I could make a new pot to feed me for the next week or so. Eating is not something that I do at regular times these days, it is just an annoying necessity sometimes when my body tells me that it needs some food. I am sure that I get quite enough minerals and vitamins from my daily intake of beer, but maybe because beer is just in liquid form, my stomach tells me that it has other ideas at times.

So I had to waste the equivalent of six litres of beer money about £3.50 ($7) on food today and start cooking again. The cooking itself I quite enjoy, I consider myself to be a very good chef and my meals always taste excellent to me. Also, whilst I am cooking, I always keep my beer mug full and handy to sip at and to give me inspiration

08 Oct, 2008: Forever Autumn

Music has had a big influence on my life and whenever I think of certain times in my life, it is the music that was popular or had meaning for me at that time that I remember mostly. Conversely, whenever I hear certain songs or music it reminds me of certain times in my life when that particular music had meaning for me. Because music has played an important part in my life, very often a tune will just pop up in my head and will stay there all day, songs that I have not heard for years will just start playing in my mind and I have tried to analyse why this happens. It is not always because you are thinking of the times when the music was popular with you, but what I have found now, is that music / lyrics that have meaning, will come to me when my mind is thinking about something that this music or the lyrics has a particular meaning for and is relative to.

The reason that I am writing about this today, is because today it happened again, a song that I have not heard for almost thirty years came into my head and would not leave and I found myself singing it to myself, whatever I was doing today. The title of this blog post 'Forever Autumn' is the title of the song that is in my head today, it is from a very old album by Jeff Wayne named 'War of the Worlds' it was an album that was very popular with me almost thirty years ago, when I was in the RAF in Germany, unfortunately, I do not have the album now or I would play it to clear it from my mind. Why this particular song came into my head today I do not know, maybe it is a subconscious thing linked to what I am thinking about, I am sure that any psychiatrist could come up with some obscure reason why this happens, but I like to psycho-analyse myself a lot these days and this I am now trying to understand, because this is not the first time that this has happened, it happens almost every other day with me these days.

Well, enough of this Freudian analysis now, I have to get back to my missing links

04 Oct, 2008: $ Millions due in again

I am still playing my games with the internet scammers at the moment and as usual I have about five or six on the go. Three of them have intimated that they are going to send me money within the next few days. The first one was supposed to have been remitted to my bank account yesterday and they sent me a very official looking money wire transfer slip and informed me that the $X millions should be in my bank account on Tuesday 7th October. I have had this situation many times before with these scam games, what usually happens next is that either the day before or the day that the funds are due into the bank account, an email will arrive from some well-known financial or government institution with the subject 'Stop order' and they will say that the fund transfer has been suspended due to the lack of required documentation (anti-terrorist certificate, non-drug related certificate, etc.) and this is where they call for the advance fee, usually about $2,500 to acquire the necessary documents, which of course is all false because there is no transfer taking place anyway, it is just part of the game to get money from you.

The second one due to send me some money is quite interesting, because it does not conform to what I have ever had before. I have won a draw that I never entered and I am due to be paid $500,000. Usually when I have had these lottery / draw scams before, they call for money to send your cheque and certificates to you by courier and always state that they cannot pay this fee from your winnings because it is insured and under international gaming laws it is not allowed to be deducted from, advance fee again! But with this one that I received today, all that they have asked from me is my bank account details and SWIFT number to transfer the winnings to me. Even with my years of experience with these scammers now, I cannot work out how they are going to call for an advance fee from this scenario, which I have never seen before. I shall keep you informed on here when I get an update from them.

The last one that is due to send me money, is a scenario again involving millions of dollars, but because I stated in the course of the scam game that I didn't have funds to pay for the transfer fees, this scammer has arranged for a financier to loan me the money and send it to my bank. This one I can work out, they expect me to receive the money from the financier and then send it to them, supposedly to pay for the transfer fees, then they disappear with the money and leave me to pay the loan back. Well, I have my own plans on this scenario, I have been trying to get a personal loan unsuccessfully for many years now, so if this loan money goes into my bank account, then it is not going anywhere but into my own pocket.

02 Oct, 2008: Legless beer times

Working with the search engines most of the time now trying to get my new 'Legless fool HQ' website highly ranked with them, most of the search engines seem to be picking it up quite well now, primarily led by Google. With the keywords I use now my internet identity of 'Legless fool' works very well, but what surprised me today is that they have also latched on to the words 'Legless beer' and 'Legless times' too. I am sure that many people must go to my website expecting to find it to be a drunkard's hangout and it probably wouldn't be very far from the truth in my case these days.

Another good thing here though, is that the search engines have picked up my new site in almost record time for them, just a couple of weeks, a task that usually takes months, even years for people new to this work. I know that the standing high ranking of my other sites that now link to my new site has a bearing on this, but even so, the search engines have excelled themselves with me here. Maybe now I can spend more time getting back to my stories, blogs and Asian diaries and a little less time worrying about what the stupid, irresponsible web hosts Fasthosts UK did to me.

01 Oct, 2008: The hunt is almost over

The Ramsay Hunt Syndrome (RHS) that I have been suffering with for 8 months now, seemed to be gradually declining and as from about one month ago, I can now drink straight from a beer bottle without spilling any and I can close my right eye properly when I go to sleep. But now, when I look in the mirror, the right side of my face which had dropped before, seems to have over-compensated itself in recovery, the right side of my mouth now is slightly higher than the left and gives the impression that I have a slight smirk on my face.

Also, my right eye now feels like it is trying to close all of the time and appears like a slight squint, I still cannot whistle though, which they reckon is a full recovery indication, but the fact that I can close both of my eyes when I sleep and I can drink my beer without spilling any now are the best signs of recovery for me, I dont whistle very often anyway!

Today's main chore for me is cooking, I usually keep a full pot of my 'Legless hotpot' on the slow cooker and it usually feeds me for four or five days at a time, but with being in Penang recently, I have to start cooking a new pot again today. My hotpot isn't exactly the same as a normal Lancashire hotpot or Scouse, I am quite inventive when it comes to cooking and having my own restaurant here a few years ago, I have come up with some quite unique dishes, my hotpot is very similar in appearance to normal hotpot, but the spices that I add to my dishes would certainly make your eyes water, clear your nose and ears and it goes down well with lots of beer.

28 Sep, 2008: Thousands of missing links everywhere

Sorry about the lack of posts at the moment, I am still trying to compensate for what the stupid, irresponsible, useless webhosts, Fasthosts UK, did to me. Even though I have already corrected the obvious links on my other website main pages to point to leglessfool HQ instead of the now dead 'legless HQ website', but I have so many underlying pages and RSS feeds, that this is going to take me quite a long time to sort all of the links out properly. To build up these links and pages took me six months and they were wiped out in an instant by just the click of a mouse button by stupid, irresponsible, useless webhosts, Fasthosts UK, I just hope that it doesn't take me six months to repair it all again. A bit of good news here though, Google has indexed my new website quite quickly and it is now quite high on their search results pages for my normal keywords, the other major search engines are also following slowly, so hopefully this should all be sorted in a quite reasonable amount of time.

I did eventually get to my local 'The Pickled Liver' last night, but there were none of the regulars in there. I later found out from the landlord's sister, that Nick the landlord is away in the UK at the moment and that is probably why there was nobody in there that I knew last night. I know myself from experience as a pub landlord, that a good pub revolves around people, not just the establishment itself.

27 Sep, 2008: Long overdue blog maintenance day

After being away for so long in Penang and Hat Yai, I had missed my usual maintenance for this blog, so today I had to archive the legless blog for August and make the blog a bit more concise just for September and easier to load. I have to do the same for the RSS feed also, so I have my work cut out for me at the moment. I was hoping to visit my local 'The Pickled Liver' tonight, so hopefully I can get this maintenance finished in time to have an evening out in my legless local, something that I haven't done for a couple of weeks now.

25 Sep, 2008: Back from Penang again

I arrived back from Penang two days ago, but I am feeling very tired after my trip this time and I have just been sleeping for a while. I shall get this blog going again soon, but I am still tired at the moment and I just needed to let you know that I am back home in Bangkok now. The trip to Penang this time was a little different, I shall tell you all about it in a new story I have planned, but that will probably be in a few days when I am feeling a little more energetic.

13 Sep, 2008: Legless Headquarters - Starting again!

Having been badly let down by my irresponsible website host Fasthosts, UK, I am now having to start again to try and get my 'Legless Headquarters' website back up in the high rankings with the search engines, that took me almost six months of hard work to attain. Even though the website name (title) is still the same, the URL or domain name is different http://www.leglessfool.com/ and this is what the search engines register, it will probably take me another six months to get back to the same level again. So six months of hard work with the search engines has gone down the drain by me trusting Fasthosts, UK and wrongly thinking that they were a responsible hosting company. Moving the website to the new URL is easy, but the SEO work and search engine rankings take a lot of time and hard work. At least this time from experience, I know that Namesco is a trusted website hosting company, I just don't understand why I made the mistake of trying a new company like Fasthosts, UK only to find out that they are useless and totally irresponsible, six months of work lost for the sake of them not just waiting a couple more days for a MASSIVE payment of £5.69, due to a bank hiccup.

Well, the one good thing that has come out of all of this is that I can now delete Fasthosts, UK from my list of hosts for any future websites that I have planned.

12 Sep, 2008: Ticket to nowhere

Well, this week certainly has had many surprises, not least of all, my website being shut down, but today, I phoned the Thai train information office and I was told that the train that I am booked on to Butterworth tomorrow is not operating. I asked them when it would be operating again and they could not give me a straight answer, they didn't know. So tomorrow I have to go to Hualumpong railway station and try and sort this out, I only have one week left to go on my last visa and this could be a problem for me, I am already making contingency plans, just in case they still are not running in one weeks time, but hopefully they will be, I am looking forward to my next trip to Penang, it would be a good break for me.

11 Sep, 2008: www.leglessfool.com goes live!

With the unexpected closedown of my leglesshq website by Fasthosts UK, I could not just let five months of my work disappear from the web at the click of some stupid host's mouse, so today I contacted my reliable host http://www.names.co.uk and asked them to transfer leglesshq.com to them, but they informed me that the name was still locked by the previous hosts and I would have to get them to release it. This was obviously going to take some time and I now have no interest in communicating with people that are totally irresponsible and not service oriented. So using my logic, I came up with a new idea, I have a registered domain name of www.leglessfool.com with Namesco which I have had for a while, but I just had it parked and redirected to leglesshq, so today I got Namesco to setup a new hosting package, which unlike Fasthosts UK, they quickly setup and took payment for in ten minutes. I then proceded to upload all of my leglesshq website to www.leglessfool.com all 170 MB of it and it is now running, the links are going to take quite a lot of time to get right again and it will take some time for the search engines to register this domain, but at least it is visible again now so I feel that my hard work has not been totally in vain and I can trust Namesco as a host to act responsibly.

I had to do this today, because I am leaving for Penang again on Saturday and I needed this problem sorted out before I go, so that I don't have to worry about things too much whilst I am away. Thank you Namesco!

11 Sep, 2008: A banking hiccup with far reaching consequencies

My monthly pension was paid into my bank account last Friday, so I thought that I should take out enough money to cover my accommodation and upcoming Penang trip. I had just about £400 in the bank and I thought that £300 should cover everything nicely. I went to a local ATM machine here in Thailand and attempted to take out what I thought was the local equivalent of £300, but it wouldn't accept it, so I went to another ATM machine and I got the same result. I then tried to get what I thought was the equivalent of £150 and it paid out. So I tried for £150 again and it would not accept it . I had to pay £100 for my accommodation and the £50 that would be left, would be nowhere near enough for me to travel to Penang with. So I decided to try one more time to get another £100 out and it paid out. So just out of curiosity, I tried to get a further £50 out and I got the message 'Transaction cancelled contact issuing bank'. Then I thought that maybe this was due to a daily limit on my card, so I didn't try again that day.

The next day I tried to get money out again from an ATM machine and I got the message 'Transaction cancelled contact issuing bank' again, for any amount that I tried to get. It was then weekend, so I thought that trying to contact the bank directly would be fruitless, but I decided to send them a message through their online banking system asking them what the problem was. I got a reply yesterday from the bank telling me that a 'Fraud marker' had been placed on my card and they gave me a UK telephone number to ring to try and sort it out. So I rang the number and I was informed that the marker had been placed because the card had been used to try and access more than my daily limit of £300, up until then, I did not know that I had a limit, I just thought that it had to be less than my bank balance and the reason that I had tried to access more than £300 was due to fluctuations in the currency exchange rates. They then lifted the marker off my card and assured me that it would work again now and just to be sure, I got them to assure me that it would work in Penang too.

Today I recived an email from the hosting company that hosts http://www.leglesshq.com named 'Fasthosts UK' and they were very threatening, stating that my services with them would be suspended because of a missed payment, which they had tried to get when my card was blocked. I went to their website and when I logged in to my control page, they had an announcement for me stating that I owed them money for one month hosting £5.69 and that the normal control was not accessible, so using the 'feedback form' on there, I told them that a problem with my bank card had just been cleared yesterday and I asked them to be patient and they would receive their payment when they next applied for it. I do have another UK host for my other websites http://www.names.co.uk and even though I have been with them for three years, I thought five months ago, that I would try Fasthosts for my new domain http://www.leglesshq.com, because they seem to have a few advantages and they were very slightly cheaper. I then thought that that would be the end of it and that they would get their money in the next few days. But tonight! I started my normal SEO and page ranking work with the search engines and when I was due to display http://www.leglesshq.com from a link from the search engines, all that I got was an error message on my browser stating:

This web page is not available.

The web page at null might be temporarily down or it may have moved permanently to a new web address

I tried many times with the same result, so this company has pulled the plug on me completely, I have been working on my new website http://www.leglesshq.com everyday for the last five months, so now, for the sake of waiting for a couple of days for payment of an outstanding amount of £5.69, 'Fasthosts UK' without any warning, have this evening just removed five months of my legless hard work from the web/internet, are they bad or what?

I definitely would not recommend 'Fasthosts UK' for anyone to host their website with, they are totally irresponsible and have no idea about customer relations or service.

Quite obviously now, you are proving to me over this temporary banking hiccup, that you are a very childish company and not worth even bothering with and I shall be stating the same on my blog tonight. To close my website down over a mishap with my bank, shows that you are purely money oriented and have no idea whatsoever about customer relations or service. I came to you five months ago because I thought that you had some advantages, but now I see that it was a total mistake. I do have another host 'Namesco' that I use for my other websites and BLOG and in more than three years, I have never had any problems with them, despite banking hiccups, so I shall be moving http://www.leglesshq.com just as soon as I can, to somebody 1,000% more reliable than you.

07 Sep, 2008: A late night at the pub

As I was passing by the area yesterday at about 5 pm, I decided to call in my new local 'The Pickled Liver' and have a couple of pints and a chat with some of the regulars there and also with Nick the owner/landlord, who is a great character. The pub soon filled up yesterday evening, there were plenty of people to talk with and it was very enjoyable. The main attraction yesterday was that England were playing Andorra at football at thirty minutes after midnight Bangkok time and with three large flat screen TVs around the room it is a great place to watch sport. I was really enjoying myself and lots of friends were buying me beers, so I stayed much longer than I expected and I was quite surprised at just how long I did spend there. Everyone eventually left and the pub was closed at 5 am this morning so I had spent twelve hours in the pub last night. As I said in my previous post, the problem with this pub is that it has too good an atmosphere and attracts me whenever I am nearby or even when I am far away.

04 Sep, 2008: My new local British pub

Now that I am back in Bangkok again, I have met friends here that I had when I lived in Bangkok before. One of my friends who has a travel agency and hotel reservation company, Peter, invited me out for a drink and introduced me to a relatively new British pub in Bangkok and I found it to be a very good pub with a good atmosphere and friendly staff, the beer and food is also very reasonably priced and it has quickly become my new 'local' in Bangkok. The name of this pub is 'The pickled liver' and as it's logo it sports a picture of the late and great footballer George Best. As I said before, the atmosphere in this pub is excellent and I have very quickly made many new friends from the regular customers in there. The only problem that I have with the pub, is that it is too inviting for me and being on a limited budget now I have to be very careful with my money, so I am trying to limit my visits to this new local to just two nights a week.

The pub has it's own website and for anyone who is interested in seeing this great British pub in Bangkok, then just click on this higlighted text to go to the pickled liver website

02 Sep, 2008: My new legless abode

I am gradually getting settled in to my new residence, but like anywhere new, it takes time to get things how you want them and to get into a new routine. My new room is a good size for me, the huge double bed takes up about fifty per cent of the area, but I am using that to my advantage. On one side of my bed I have placed my computer and on the other side I have placed some cooking facilities and the fridge with my beer in it

. So my room is now a truly 'legless abode', when I go into my room, I sit on my bed, take my leg off and never have to put it on again until I decide to go out somewhere. I can just sit on my bed legless and roll from one side to the other to get anything that I want. This computer is now permanently connected to the internet and when I get tired at the computer and need to sleep, I just have to fall sideways onto my pillows, I few beers helps with this too.

29 Aug, 2008: Online again, at last!

Today having waited for about eight hours for their arrival, because they could not give me a definite time, 'True' finally installed my ADSL line. I think that I must be an internet junkie now, because the withdrawal symptoms that I have gone through being unable to connect for so long has driven me crazy, even more than crazy than I normally am! So now I am back online again, like it or hate it! I now know what it must have felt like being 'excommunicated' in days of old

I shall be back with a vengeance now, because I am now totally free from Parasite farm, no more looking over my shoulder, or checking my bank account and my bank finally got their act together and even compensated me for the mistake that they made before, thank you HSBC!

26 Aug, 2008: Still waiting to get connected

My ADSL modem arrived on Saturday 23rd August and I paid for the line, so I thought that my ADSL line would arrive quite quickly afterwards. Well, it is now four days later and still no sign of the line, so I phoned the company today to find out what was happening. I was informed that the server that was dealing with my line was not commissioned yet, but I should be connected on 29th August. So hopefully the next post that I put on this blog should be uploaded through my new high speed connection and I can get back into my internet routines again.

21 Aug, 2008: Have cash now but no ATM card

I went to HSBC Bangkok today hoping that I could sort out this ridiculous situation that my bank has now put me in. The staff in HSBC Bangkok were very helpful, they couldn't give me the reason why my bank had blocked or cancelled my card, but at least they informed me that they could get me some money. I asked for enough cash from my account to cover my impending ADSL installation and hopefully enough to last me through until my new ATM card arrives. I was informed by the bank in Bangkok that the cost of the international money transfer was $20 US, so I have to pay for my bank's stupid mistake too! After I received my money, I connected to my bank in UK on the internet and complained again about what they had done and what I had to do to try to correct their stupid mistake and I also stated that their bank department that caused this whole mess, should cover the cost of my money transfer. Personally I doubt it, that would be much too logical for them and they would have to admit to bad practice and it would even cost them money in the process!

20 Aug, 2008: H.S.B.C. Are all banks generally this stupid and insensitive?

I thought that by informing my bank yesterday about the mistake that they had made by blocking my current ATM card, that they would quickly make amends. Well, I was obviously wrong again! Today I went to an ATM machine to see if my bank had corrected their mistake and this time, the ATM machine informed me: 'Card retained, please contact your bank' and swallowed my card. So now I have no money and also now, I have no card to get any money from my account. Is this all automatic, does nobody monitor this? So now my only option is to go to the local bank branch in Bangkok tomorrow, if I have enough money to go there, and sort out this problem, hopefully

19 Aug, 2008: Hopeless Stupid Banking Corporation

I was quite obviously now, much too quick in accepting that my bank had acted correctly by placing a temporary stop on my new ATM/debit card, I was accepting that they had done something correctly for once. Yesterday I went to my local supermarket to top up on my essentials, beer, food, etc.

. There are a few ATM machines near the supermarket, so I thought that I should top-up my cash and keep enough money in my wallet to cover the installation of my new ADSL line when it arrives this week. At the first ATM machine that I went to, it came back with an error message of 'Unable to complete this transaction at this time'and at the second machine I received the same error message, but at the third machine it stated that 'This card has been blocked by the bank, please contact your bank for details', so it looks like my stupid bank has not only blocked usage of my new ATM card, but they have also managed to cut off all access to my funds from anywhere.

16 Aug, 2008: Long overdue blog maintenance

I know that my current legless blog recently has been increasing to an unmanageable size, I have had just too many other things to do with my recent move to Bangkok, but today for the first time since my move, I realised that I should start taking care of it and start to get back into a good routine again. I am well settled into my new accommodation here now and I am enjoying being alone and just having to worry about myself and taking care of my funds by myself, I can budget again now. I received a reply from my bank yesterday telling me that a temporary stop has been placed on my new ATM/debit card, so that is another problem taken care of, things are coming together relatively well now. Hopefully my new ADSL line will be installed soon too, so that I don't have to keep going to the internet cafe to post these blogs.

15 Aug, 2008: Getting connected again

I contacted True Telecoms in Bangkok yesterday and explained to them that I needed an internet connection in my new room, they told me that they would pass my request on to their sales department and that they would contact me. Well, no contact from them all day yesterday, but first thing this morning I received a phone call from a True sales representative requesting details from me and within five minutes they confirmed that a new 512MHz ADSL line will be installed in my room within the next week, so I am now gradually getting organised again.

Now I just hope that my bank can sort out the mess that they have put me in, without it costing me a lot of money.

14 Aug, 2008: Why do these things happen to me?

I have been ill for a few days with a very severe throat and chest infection, so I just stayed in bed in my new room in BKK and took some antibiotics that I always keep around for this purpose. Yesterday for the first time in a few days, I felt well enough to go to the internet cafe and post my blog. I had many other things to check on the internet, not least of which, was to check that my bank had received my message that I sent to them one week ago explaining about my change of address to make sure that my new ATM card which is now due, is sent to my new address and not the old one where the parasites are. Well, I received a reply from the bank yesterday, telling me that my new ATM card has been sent to my old address, great!Just when I thought that I was actually clear of the parasites at last, the bank has now sent them my new ATM card and really thinking that I was finally clear, I have even moved some of the money from my lottery account back into my bank account so that I can have access to it myself now.

11 Aug, 2008: My first blog from Bangkok and things are not going too well

I travelled by train to Bangkok on 6 August and found my way to my new apartment block, the staff were expecting me and I was shown straight to my room. The room was definitely different to the norm, all of the other rooms on the ground floor at the front are shops and cafes, mine was obviously used as some kind of outlet before, because there is Thai writing across the glass sliding doors and even prices in Thai baht for something, but I am not quite sure what. My room is quite compact and the large double bed takes up about fifty percent of it, but for me it is just about the right size, I don't have to move about a lot when I am writing and I am alone now anyway. I had only brought enough clothes with me for two or three days, because my plan was just to establish myself at the new residence and then arrange for a car rental so that I could go back and pick up the rest of my belongings and most importantly for me, my computer.

So on the 9th of August that is just what I did, the only automatic vehicle that they had available at the car rental was a Toyota Soluna VIOS, which they gave me a good price on because I have been a good customer with them for years. I set off for the farm at about 12:30 pm from Bangkok, I know that it is only a two or three hours drive and I arrived at the farm at 15:00 pm. I received a phone call whilst I was driving and the people at the farm knew that I was going to pick up all of my things that I could possibly fit in the car. On my arrival at the farm, before I started packing the car, I had to check my email, I hadn't done so for a couple of days because the internet cafe near where I am now staying is quite expensive, so I spent the next hour just going through my email. Whilst I was doing this, the people there started loading the car for me, so by the time I had finished with the email, all that remained to be loaded was my computer equipment. The one thing that I couldn't put in the car that I needed, was the table to put my computer on, because in my new room there aren't any tables at all. The table was much too big though even when dismantled, so I thought that it would not be too big a problem for me, I would just try and get a table at the apartment block and if there were any problems with it, I could always put the computer on one side of the huge bed that I now have.

The drive back later that day to Bangkok was much longer, for some reason there were traffic jams around Ayuthaya and Rangsit, so I only eventually got back to my apartment at 22:00 that night. The security and other staff at the apartment were very helpful and they soon unloaded the car for me. My room though was full of bags, boxes and computer equipment and it took me a good hour just to arrange everything so that I could move around the room easily, the real unpacking would just have to wait until the next day, because I needed a couple of beers and I also needed to get my head down to sleep before I even considered unpacking after that drive. The next day I had to take the car back to the car rental shop before I did anything else though and I had a big lunch in my favourite pub in Bangkok, the Ship Inn whilst I was near there and it was very good, even though it was already lunchtime by then, I ordered the English breakfast in there and it was excellent and really filled me up, I was so full that I couldn't even drink all of my beer afterwards.

When I eventually got back to my apartment a few hours later, I saw the owner there and asked her if she had a small table that I could put in my room to place my computer on and she quite quickly found me one. So the first priority for me before any other unpacking was to get my computer back together again and get connected to the internet. I got everything physically connected quite quickly and I thought that the roaming internet connection number of '1222' would still connect okay in Bangkok, but it kept coming up with an error message that the line was busy, I tried it again and again, with the same result, so then I dialled the same number on my phone in the room and I got a message saying that this number was not valid, so I thought that it must be different for Bangkok.

I eventually found a number for internet connection in Bangkok in one of my bags of computer things and I changed the number for the modem to dial, then I got an error message telling me that the modem was either busy or not connected, so I tried this again many times and got the same result, I then shut my computer down thinking that it had got itself into some kind of loop, but when I booted it up again, it said that there was no modem. I then reseated the modem in the PCI slot and my computer still wouldn't see it, so I then changed PCI slots and again it wouldn't see it. I thought then that there must be a problem with my modem, so I would just have to go to the internet cafe and check my email there. But when I went outside it was now 8 pm at night and it was pouring down with rain, there were no motorcycle taxis around and the nearest internet cafe to me now is more than one kilometre away. So I just went back to my room again messed about with the modem PCI slots again, but it looks like the modem is now completely dead, maybe with all of the rain, the phone line got hit by lightning somewhere, but I didn't hear anything this time. I am writing this offline now so that I can hopefully upload it to my blog tomorrow using the FTP on my flash drive and then people will know why there hasn't been a post on here for a while, but I don't know what I am going to do with my own internet connection now, I shall just have to work on it.

05 Aug, 2008: My last night on Parasite Farm in Nakhon Nowhere

Well this is it! My last night surrounded by parasites on this farm, hopefully. I have to wake up early tomorrow morning and get the first train to Bangkok from Ban Takhli, so maybe I have to drink a lot of beer and whisky very quickly tonight to try to get to sleep early, it is just a concession that I have to make to be sure that I get away on time tomorrow.

I may spend a couple of days relaxing in my new room in Bangkok before I hire a car and come back here to pick up my computer, so there may not be any posts on here for a few days. For eight months now I have waited for this opportunity to present itself and all I needed to make it happen was someone in Bangkok to help me to get a room and it is quite strange that I could only find that person in Vientiane, Laos. Life is very complicated sometimes! Living in Bangkok without the constant worries about where my funds are disappearing to, I can probably settle down again and finish my second book 'Ex Post Facto'. One of the ironies here is that, that was one of my reasons for moving to the farm in the first place and the other irony here, is that my other main reason for moving to the farm, was to save money.

Hopefully, I have made a good decision this time with this move, and if I haven't, I shall tell you all about it on here later anyway.

The life of the legless fool in Thailand continues!

04 Aug, 2008: Will the real John McMiken please stand up!

I have spent more than two years building up a high profile for my writing name on the internet / web for the sole purpose of promoting my books and stories and it is working quite well now. As I have said before on here though, because my name and book is high profile on the search engines now, many other people are using both on their own website page titles, descriptions, content and meta tags for their own search engine ranking purposes and to try to get traffic to their sites from my name and my book title. I personally find this quite pathetic, you have to feel sorry for people that don't have the brains or ideas to promote their own name and products for their sites. Do a search yourself on any of the search engines for John McMiken and you will see what I mean, the only legitimate ones on the results pages, apart from my own websites and blogs, are directories, publishers, writers/authors websites, forums, Scottish district registers of births, deaths and marriages and the one web directory that I personally endorse is http://www.mexabet.biz, all of the others listed in the search engine results pages (SERPs) for my writing name are just part of the pathetic group of website owners / webmasters that I was talking about above.

The good thing about all of this, is that it proves to me that my campaign to promote my name and book is working well now, otherwise people would not try to copy them.

03 Aug, 2008: My new home in Bangkok is already reserved

I have now reserved my room in Bangkok with the help of my new friend there. I shall be travelling to Bnagkok on Wednesday this week to pay my deposit, collect my keys and spend my first night in my new home. A couple of rooms were available, but being legless and for ease of access for me, I chose the ground floor room that was available. I am really looking forward to living there and having the freedom to do what I want to, when I want to and not having to think about anybody else, just living alone taking care of myself and more importantly, taking control of my own money again (no parasites).

I shall heve to return to the farm on Thursday or Friday to pick up my computer and other important things, so for a couple of days this week there will be no posts on here and no updates to my websites until I get everything settled in my new home. As I said on here before, I just needed someone in Bangkok to help me to secure a new place and as it turned out, the person that has helped me, is someone that I met in Vientane of all places. If you haven't already read about my last trip to Laos yet, then you can click on this line and go to read about my trip Legless in Vientiane, Laos II . My new friend in Bangkok that helped me with this is a website developer himself and he has just completed his latest project and uploaded it to the web, he has designed a new web directory for people to list their websites under a very comprehensive categorisation listing and it is very professionally done. Why not check out this new, professional, human edited web directory by clicking anywhere on this highlighted line.

01 Aug, 2008: Happy birthday to me

I am sitting at my computer this evening / morning and it is my birthday I think. I was born on the 1st of August, 1951 in UK and although here in Thailand it is now 1st August, in UK it is still 31st July at this point in time. I received one present early this year, yesterday evening I was given a bottle of whisky for a birthday present, I only usually drink whisky at Xmas, but to show gratitude for the thought, I had a drink of my only present last night, it was still not officially my birthday, but what the hell! Well it certainly started my year off well, because the next thing that I knew, I woke up in my computer chair at 03:00 am this morning and realising that it really was my birthday now, here in Thailand, I decided to have a few more shots of my only present this year. If I seem to be drivelling on a little here, you can blame my birthday present for that, it does become a little addictive once you start. I hope this year is a better one for me, I don't think that it could be worse than previous ones, but then again, I have thought that many times before and I have been proven wrong every time. Some good news, my new friend in Bangkok has found accommodation for me there, so I shall be going to check that out sometime next week, that would be a good start to the year for me.

This whisky is quite nice, but a little too strong for my taste, I have to keep watering it down a lot with beer or maybe I would get drunkkkk

. Well it is now 04:30 am here and it is still not really my official birthday in UK, so even though I am now starting to get tired again, I shall just have to try and stay awake so that I can celebrate my real birthday at the real time. The problem with drinking that I have, is that as soon as I stop drinnking I fall asleep, so to be able to stay awake, I have to keep drinking, well that is my excuse and I am sticking to it and drinking to it.

I think that I should finish thiss posst now because the keyboard is becomming blurrred and for somme reasson it seemms to bbe moving now, musst bee magic.

29 Jul, 2008:Looking for a new home in Bangkok

Two days ago, I let my feelings be known to the parasites on the farm that I wanted to leave here and that I needed to live alone. I have had it now living with other people here, everyone that I live with seems to have the same idea, they never look at me as a person, all they see in me is a means to add to their own monetary income without working for it. At least the air is cleared here now, but the main problem that I have now is finding somewhere else to live, I would like to move back to Bangkok again, but first I need to find some suitable accommodation there, just a room with a bed and a telephone line is all that I really require, nothing special really. Preferably somewhere there that is not too expensive, because after living with the parasites for the last fifteen months my savings are now zero.

For me to find a room in Bangkok from Parasite farm here in Nakhon Sawan is very difficult, I really need the help of someone in Bangkok to do this. I have sent an email to someone that I met in Vientiane last week and hopefully he can help me with this. I just need to take control of my own life again now and much more importantly, take control of my own money again. I just hope that I can move from here within the next two weeks before my pension is paid into my bank account again and the parasites try to gain access to it again.

27 Jul, 2008:My latest trip to Laos story is now uploaded

I finally finished my Legless in Laos trip II story and uploaded it today. It took a long time to write because there was a lot more to talk about this time, than the last trip I made to Laos. Being alone this time I had a better time there, I met some new friends and I drank a lot more beer too. I wish I had a digital camera that would have been useful to add some photos to the story but I can't afford to buy one at the moment. So if you would like to read about my trip then just click on Legless in Vientiane Laos II here and you should be transferred to it.

I am gradually getting back into my routine again now after my trip and I need to concentrate on my SEO work again now because some of the major search engines have changed their algorithms again. The next time I have to go for a visa trip is on 20th September and I shall be heading back to Penang again and back to the gang at the Blue Diamond Hotel there. I bought a bottle of wine in Laos this time, I really like wine more than beer, but it is just too expensive for me to buy wine in Thailand. The reason that I bought the wine this time, is because it is my birthday on Friday of this week, so I thought that I would treat myself.

25 Jul, 2008:Back from my Laos trip

I arrived back from my Laos trip yesterday, but I was a little too tired to write on here then. I was going to write about my recent trip, but there are too many things to talk about and much too much for just a blog post, so I have spent most of today creating a new page for my websites about my trip and time in Vientiane. It still isn't finished yet, so I thought that I should write something on here anyway tonight.

The trip was quite a good trip and much more enjoyable travelling there alone this time. I met some quite interesting people in Vientiane and made some new friends on this trip. When I have finished the page about it I shall put a post with a link on here for anyone to go and read about my latest legless venture into Laos and I did get a little more legless in a drunken sense too this time, lots of Beer Lao.

18 Jul, 2008:Thank you HSBC you have restored my confidence again.

I logged onto my bank account this evening and I was surprised to see that my missing funds had been returned to my account again. There was also a new message for me telling me that the relevant department was dealing with my case as a matter of urgency and they apologised for any inconvenience caused. Well, at least I have my money back now, that is the important thing to me at this point in time, I am still not happy with what they did or the way that they did it, but their customer support department does seem to work.

I shall be away in Laos again for the next five days, I shall try and write on here if I get the chance there, but if not, I shall definitely give you a report about my trip just as soon as I return.

18 Jul, 2008:Hopeless Stupid Banking Corporation (Cont.)

Two days ago I was sent an email from the customer service department of my bank, telling me that they were investigating my complaint and that they would get back to me when they had any results. Well, that was the last time I heard from them, I still have to go to Laos tomorrow and without my funds that they saw fit to remove without notifying me, I am now having to borrow money just to make this trip. I know that what they did is completely illegal in the UK, but I am not in the UK at the moment or I would be straight around to the nearest police station. They cannot just leave you without any funds to take care of yourself, especially when the funds that they 'stole' belong to me anyway.

They stated that this money was paid to a collection service for my outstanding credit card debt, well, the credit card debt is with the bank themselves, so this looks like a set up job for them, to get money off me and using someone else as an excuse, but removing almost all of my money without my knowledge cannot be excused anyway. Yes, my credit card debt has not been paid off and the reason for this is because this stupid bank closed down my bank account, again without my knowledge and this was the account that was paying my credit card off, so they did this to themselves four years ago. If you would like to read the story about why that account was shut down then you can read it at:

Where all of this stupid situation with my bank is going to end '^*@%*' knows, but one thing is for sure, I am going to make sure that they pay for all of the problems that they are causing me, it would be bad enough if I had two legs, but even being legless I shall fight through the UK law about this.

14 Jul, 2008:Hopeless Stupid Banking Corporation

I am getting ready to travel again next weekend because it is time for me to renew my Thai visa again. I went to Penang last time, so I have to go to Vientiane again this time, so I decided to check that I had sufficient funds in my bank account yesterday evening, but when I logged into my online bank account I got a shock, my account was down almost £200 less than I expected and not enough money left in it for me to go on my visa trip. When I checked the online statement page there had been a debit of £190 with just the word 'ADVISED' next to it, so I sent an online e-message to my bank asking them what this debit was for and I received the message below back from them today:

To: Ian
Subject: Case: 7096473 General Enquiries
Date: 14 Jul 2008
Account details: 40-40-07 91691201
Message: Our Reference 7096473

Dear Mr Reed

Debit Transaction

Thank you for your e-message received 13 July 2008

I notice that a letter has been sent in relation to this will reach you within a few working days.

Please be advised that the funds have been transferred from your account 404007 91691201 to your credit card debt 5434604053662809 currently with Metropolitan Collection Services Limited.

Should you have any further enquiries do not hesitate to contact us directly.

Kind regards
Jason R
HSBC Internet Banking Customer Support

This could not have come at a worse time for me because without these funds I cannot travel for my visa and I am really mad with them, so I replied:

Dear Jason R.,
I would appreciate it if people tell me about these things before they just do them. This has now put me in a very difficult situation, I have to leave the country this week due to immigration regulations, but without the money that you transferred, without notifying me, I cannot go and I now will have problems with immigration and be subjected to a fine of L9 per day for overstay, which I also now cannot pay, so I may end up in jail just through an HSBC stupid action.

I shall also put all of this story on my internet website blogs and my local UK newspaper blog tonight too, to show how stupid and insensitive HSBC is. Remember, I am an amputee and an invalid, so it is definitely not going to make your bank look very good and I may also contact the UK media about this too.

I don't know if it will do any good and they have not replied yet, but I enjoyed getting it off my chest with them after their stupid action, surely they are not allowed to just take a large sum like that out of your bank account without informing you first. I have sent an email to the UK financial ombudsman about this already, so I shall just have to wait and see what develops now.

13 Jul, 2008:Legless with beer and 'Solo' representation

I am literally legless and I do like drinking beer and I mention about both of these things on my websites. The search engines have picked up on this and my websites come up on the first results page for the keywords 'legless' and 'beer', this must really be causing some other sites problems, because when I check these words with the search engines, I have found that there are sites like 'Legless brewery' and a new beer in the UK called 'Legless beer' and these are behind me in the search engine results page (SERP) I find it quite amusing, but I think that these other beer websites may be a little upset with me.

My new legless icon, I have now given the name of 'Solo', I think that this is quite a good name for him as he is representing me on the web now alone.

11 Jul, 2008: The fool still can't whistle

I haven't written about it on here for a long time, but I still have Ramsay Hunt Syndrome (RHS). It came on very quickly, but it takes a very long time to recover, I have had it for five months now and although some of the symptoms are improving, I still cannot wink with my right eye, but I can close it now. The right side of my mouth is still a problem, I can't control my lips on the right side still and it is a nuisance, when I am hungry and eating quickly if I am not careful, I bite my lip on the right side and it hurts, I have done this many times now.

I have learned how to drink my beer without spilling it now though and that is much more important to me, food is just a basic necessity, but beer is a must!

I did read on the internet a while ago, that you know when the RHS symptoms have finished when you can whistle again, well I practice whistling everyday and still no sound yet, I still can't get my lips quite right.

10 Jul, 2008: Legless fool icon/avatar/logo design/website modifications

I thought that now that I am 'the legless fool' that I should design an icon, avatar or logo that people can relate to. That is why I have not posted on here for a while, I have been busy designing this and applying it to many of my websites pages. There are so many pages now though, that it will take me quite a long time to find them all and put the icon on all of them,s. It gets a little confusing at times too, because I have the same pages on my reedinter and ex post facto websites that I have on my legless HQ website now, just the wording and links are different, so sometimes I think that I have done a page already and then I realise that I have done it, but on a different website, so it has to be done again.

If you noticed already, the icon is at the top of this page now, but for those of who missed it I shall duplicate it here: Leader of the legless fool's party

It is not a brilliant design, but the most important things are on there, a fool's hat, one leg missing and a beer in each hand and apart from the hat and being green, it really could be me

05 Jul, 2008: New addition to the Legless Group of Websites

I was working on one of my webpages yesterday that explains about how I built up my internet domains when I suddenly realised, that now I am using Legless Fool as my internet / web name, I should really back it up with a domain of a similar name to stop anyone else trying to cash in on this name as they already are doing with the name of my book 'Legless in Thailand' and my writing name 'John McMiken'. So I made the decision to register the domain name of www.leglessfool.com yesterday, which I did successfully, to protect myself against someone else registering it. As this new domain just appertains to me personally as the owner of this name now, I have only configured this new domain to redirect people to my Legless group of websites, because I cannot justify the expense of putting this new domain on a server and building a new website for it at this time, maybe later!

I own many domain names now and many of them are used just to redirect traffic to my existing websites. I have written a page on my legless HQ website explaining about all of this, so I shall not write too much about it on this post today, for anyone that is interested, then you can take a look at my Legless Websites Group of Domains page.

04 Jul, 2008: Writing and the right frame of mind

Now I am writing a lot, I find that I have to be in the 'right frame of mind' to write easily. Being an electronics/computer engineer for the last forty years, frame of mind did not come into the equation at all, I had a problem to solve and my mind just automatically switched into fault-finding mode, irrespective of my frame of mind. But, writing I find is completely different, I have to be in the right mood to sit down, think about the topic that I want to write about and absolutely nothing else and only then do the words start to flow through my mind. It is not an automatic thing like it was being an engineer, I find that I have to have no outside influences or distractions whatsoever when I sit down to write and my mind has to be completely clear of all other issues, which in my present situation is not very easy

I am writing about this tonight because, over the last two days I have not been able to write my usual input for my Asian Diaries and I have been trying to analyse myself and understand, why sometimes I find that it is much easier to write than other times? Even with this blog it is the same, you can see that there has been no post on here for a couple of days now and it is not because I have had many other things to do, it is only to do with being in the right frame of mind for it.

Well, my mind is growing tired now and the frame is collapsing, so I think that I should end this post now

01 Jul, 2008: Bats in the office

It started raining very late tonight, just a constant drizzle really but also with the occasional flash of lightning, so I had to disconnect the phone line from my modem to protect against any lightning strike hitting it again. The rain does bring out a few insects and they are attracted to the lights in my outdoor working area/bedroom. The insects in turn attracted two bats tonight and they have been flying around me for about thirty minutes now, don't bats ever get tired and stop for a rest? The bats are okay though because they keep the insects down, but they do get a little close at times when I am working and it is a little distracting when they fly between me and my monitor. I shall be glad when I can get an office/bedroom indoors again, I do like the outdoors, but in heavy rain it can get a little wet when the wind is blowing strong and sometimes the flying termites come out after the rain has stopped and they are an absolute nuisance because they arrive by the hundreds at a time, I much prefer the bats, at least they dont drop in your beer

29 Jun, 2008: A legless coma and the weather

I was wondering what to write on here today and the only thing that is unusual at the moment is the weather here, so I thought I would write about that. Then I was doing my usual search engine thing and playing with the words on my websites with the search engines and I found that I am very highly ranked on all of them for the words 'legless coma'. These two words are on my websites when I have been writing about my accident and being in a coma and the word legless is on all of my websites anyway. Thinking about these two words together makes me smile, because it just about describes how I go to sleep each night / morning, I take my leg off and after all of the beers that I have been drinking whilst working on my computer, I do tend to slip into what I term is a legless coma rather than just falling asleep and now it seems that the search engines agree with me about this

Now onto the weather! This year the weather is very unusual here in Thailand, the rainy season normally starts at the end of May and runs through to the end of October, but this year apart from the odd thunder storm, the rains haven't really started yet and it is now the end of June. For me it is good because it means that I haven't been completely infested with flying termites yet, but if the rains start late this year, will they finish late too? We shall just have to wait and see now.

26 Jun, 2008: Retirement with overtime!

I have been quiet on here for a couple of days because I am concentrating on getting my new legless HQ website working properly and also updating my memoirs in the Asian Diaries section on a daily basis too. This keeps me very busy at the moment because when I think that I have just about completed my work for the day, I then find a bad link on the site. I now have more than 65 pages just on the one site alone and it can take a lot of time to check all of the links out, especially when many of my diary pages have more than ten links on each page. I am supposed to be retired now, but with my websites, diary memoirs and internet SEO work, I am putting in more than sixteen hours each day at the moment.

23 Jun, 2008: The whore from hell

Today I wrote a new webpage for my Reed in Asia section of my Legless HQ website, this page is something that I have had planned for a very long time, but I have just never got around to writing it before. The page is about the person that caused me to be in the situation that I find myself in today and if I had never met her, I probably would still have two legs today too, because I only had the accident in which I lost my leg when I was carrying out her wishes. The full story about my relationship with this person can be found in my 'Legless in Thailand' book and the only reason that I created the new webpage today about this person, is out of pure spite and hatred of what she did to me without a second thought before.

Just as with the writing of my book, making this webpage today has actually helped me, by releasing some of the tensions caused by the hatred of this person that I have been carrying around with me for many years now. I have actually put photos of this girl on the webpage, but what I haven't done on there is state her real name and actual location now. If anyone would like to see this webpage and the photos of this person then just click on this link: The Thai whore from hell and see and read about the person that completely ruined my life before.

22 Jun, 2008: Two legs in my Asian Diaries

Still writing a page a day in my Asian Diaries, I do recall some of the emotions at that time, but what has not really been apparent to me up until now, is the fact that in the period that I am writing about, I still have two legs, I am not legless yet

. It only came home to me today because I have just finished today's diary entry and I am now thinking about tomorrow's page. At the end of today's page I am on board an aircraft bound for Chiangmai and then thinking about tomorrow, I know that I went to Doi Suthep in Chiangmai for the first time and walked up the many steps to the Buddhist temple there and I then realised that I could not do that today being legless now, so it is the first time that I have compared the time when I had two legs to my situation today.

19 Jun, 2008: Problems with my server

Writing my Asian Diaries each day, I have to upload the page to the server each day and also update the index page, the RSS, a link on the previous page and the sitemap, then browse the site and check that they are all working okay. Well, yesterday I uploaded all of the files, but when I went to check them on the browser, they were still the same as the day before, no change, I automatically click the 'refresh' button on the browser, but I clicked it again and still no change, I also had the same problem trying to update my RSS. At first I thought that maybe it was a problem with my browser just remembering the page and not updating properly, so I opened a different browser that I keep in reserve and the problem was still the same. I then uploaded the files again to the server and checked on my FTP program that the files were actually being stored and overwritten on my server and I could see that they were, so then I came to the conclusion that my server was not displaying the updated files and was just using some cache memory when anyone browsed my site. I sent an email today to my hosting service about this and they are currently looking into the problem. I hope that they can find out what the problem is quickly, because what is the point of having an RSS feed if you can't update it?

16 Jun, 2008: A magic day out and music

Writing the page for my Asian Diaries today, I have been writing about an event that happened to me 24 years ago in Thailand. I went for my first day out driving around Thailand and went to Kanchanaburi, where the bridge over the river Kwai is situated. I went with the girl that was then staying with me and I had a very good day. It is a day that is easy for me to remember, because it was the day that changed my mind about my future and ultimately led to where I am today, I shall not say any more about it on here because I do not want to detract from the Asian Diary entry itself. I will say though, that I have now put music on some of the pages in the diary and the music relates to that particular time in my life. The music for this day in the diary is 'Magic' sung by Olivia Newton-John and when I hear that song even these days, I always remember that day before and what I was doing when this song was playing.

13 Jun, 2008: Blog maintenance day again today Friday 13th

A bit later than usual, but I had to do the monthly maintenance on this blog today, archive the blog for May and update the links, sitemap and RSS.

Well today is Friday the 13th, I hope nobody has any mishaps today, I know it is just superstition, but some people take it seriously, when was the last time you were in a lift and saw a thirteenth floor? In my life everyday seems to be like a Friday the thirteenth, so for me it is just another boring day like all the rest, nothing out of the ordinary to worry about. Being a little bit superstitious though, maybe I should drink thirteen beers tonight to placate any evil spirits around me. So I shall have a happy, legless, Friday the thirteenth.

12 Jun, 2008: The legless hand

People who sometimes contact me from the internet like to ask me "Why do you use the word legless a lot on your websites, doesn't it embarrass you?" I just tell them that I never asked to be legless, it was just the hand that I was dealt and I find the term quite amusing when applied to me, it probably couldn't have happened to a more applicable person and if you've been dealt this legless hand, then just play it the best way that you can

More legless words of wisdom tomorrow after another night of beer, my words come easier then

11 Jun, 2008: The legless fool with a legless book

I told you yesterday that the search engines had named me the legless fool, well using the same logic, the search engines have categorised my book as the 'Legless Book' and it comes up number one for these search words on almost all of them. So basically, we have a 'Legless Book' written by a 'Legless Fool', so it should be fairly unique and easy to find on the internet now

I'll drink to that!

10 Jun, 2008: Birth of the 'Legless Fool'

I wrote a post on here a few months ago now, stating that I was surprised that even though some of the search engines had problems finding my book for the normal keywords, when I was playing around with the words in the content of my book webpage, I used two of the words on the page 'Legless' and 'Fool' and then all of the search engines found my book easily. I remember then that I wrote on here at that time, that the search engines unanimously agree that I am a legless fool. Well ever since that day I have adopted the search engines' categorisation of me and I now even call myself the 'Legless Fool'. That is why you see now that I always sign off on each post as 'The legless fool in Thailand'. Well, they do say that if you can't beat them, then join them, "thank you to all of the search engines for giving me a new web celebrity name" I am now the official search engine certified, legless fool on the web.

09 Jun, 2008: Nothing of interest at the moment

I didn't post anything on this blog yesterday because other than talking about the scammers that I am playing with and my Asian Diaries, I have nothing of interest to talk about now. Even the parasites here are playing things low key at the moment, my money has been in the bank for four days now and they have only taken out 1,000 baht and said that it was for my beer and one box of beer arrived so I can't complain too much at the moment.

The rains still haven't really set in yet this year, we get the occasional storm some nights, but the rainy season hasn't really kicked in yet this year, it is very late now, the rains usually start at the end of May like clockwork, so I don't know what is happening this year.

Well hopefully I may have something of interest to talk about soon, until then have a nice day and try not to get too legless

07 Jun, 2008: Still playing with scammers

I haven't metioned them for a while because you may get bored with it, but I am still playing with scammers everyday, I usually have about five or six of them on the go at any one time. This week has been a little interesting for me, after four years of playing with these people, I get bored with them at times. It looks like they all go to the same scam college or read the same reference books for scams, I can almost write all of their initial emails from memory now, only the names and the amount of money offered changes each time with many of them and even their follow up emails I can guess what is in them before I read them.

But this week I have had a couple of different stories, one that I found quite amusing was when 'the bank director' called for fees for procurement of legal documents to release my funds and then when I didn't send the money, they sent me an email saying that, because I have not met up with their requirements, then they think that I am not genuine and trying to defraud the bank and they will pass my details on to interpol, the FBI, Scotland Yard, etc. and I could face a 21 year jail sentence. I just replied to them and said "Thanks for the good laugh, that was the most stupid, nonsensical, idiotic and illogical email that I have ever received, please send me some more emails soon, because I could do with a good laugh these days." They never replied again

05 Jun, 2008: On the way to my first big mistake

On the input to my Asian Diaries over the last two days, I have now written about a certain event that happened in my life a long time ago in Asia that started to change my way of thinking and started to put doubts in my mind about how good my life was as it stood at that time, in comparison to what it could be. For people reading this blog post that have already read my diaries, then you will see that the title of this post has a double meaning that will not be apparent to people who have not read the diaries yet and it is a hint about what will become apparent with time in the diaries.

Because my Asian Diaries are just memories for me, I look at them with hindsight and I don't want to write anything on this blog that will pre-empt events in the diaries. But, as I have done in this blog today, I shall give the occasional hint that will only have a meaning for my Asian diary readers.

Well, I think that is enough for tonight, we have a big electrical storm here at the moment and it is pouring down with rain and as a precaution I have disconnected my modem and I am writing this offline, there is nothing else that I can do when I am offline, so I think it is now time to get down to some serious drinking for tonight

03 Jun, 2008: Self analysis ex post facto

I am now writing a page a day again for my Asian Diaries and because the diaries are now quickly approaching a major turning point in my life, I am now trying to self-analyse my actions at that time: "Why did I do that? What was I thinking about? What were my plans at that time? What were my feelings?" I did the exact same thing after I finished the first draft of my autobiography Legless in Thailand and really the diaries are an autobiography too, but in much more depth and I was only slightly legless then.

One good thing is, that at least I seem to have got my mind back on what I am doing again now, rather than it wandering a thousand kilometres away, like it has been doing over most of the last week.

01 Jun, 2008: Nothing is so good it lasts eternally

I am gradually, very slowly, getting back into the swing of things again now, but I still have emotional problems that are going to take a very long time to settle down. To try and help me at the moment, I am sitting at my computer all day each day and just trying to concentrate on my Asian Diaries. Also to try to help, I have lots of music on my computer that I play whilst I am working, but I only collect songs that have lyrics with special meaning in them and I have quite a large collection now.

I have always enjoyed good music/songs and maybe I am unusual (that's for sure), but I remember times in my life from certain music/songs at that time rather than the date or year itself, maybe not music that was popular for other people at that particular time, but music that I chose to play then, so most of my memories are linked to songs. And, although I have set my computer audio player to play a large selection of my songs randomly rather than sequentially, occasionally a song plays that has very special meaning for me and I start to lose concentration and my mind starts wandering again. The title of this post is the opening lyrics from an album that does have very special meaning for me and when it played just now on my computer, it completely distracted me from what I was doing and I decided to write this post tonight.

I am sorry if I am boring any of you with some of my posts on here, but in my present situation and state of mind, this is my only means of communication / outlet with anyone that I consider worth talking to.

31 May, 2008: Back to my Asian Diaries

I did manage to write and upload a new page to my Asian Diaries today and I found that by doing so it helped me to refocus my mind a little, unfortunately, within the next few days as my Asian diaries are progressing again now, they are leading up to the encounter that brought me together with my Thai wife for the first time and that is going to bring my mind back to the encounter in Koh Lanta last week, because my former living-in partner of ten years in Koh Lanta is in fact the sister of my legal Thai wife.

30 May, 2008: Time for a little recuperation and rethink

After my return from my last trip and especially the visit to Koh Lanta, I am feeling emotionally drained and exhausted now, so I am finding it a little difficult to get back into my usual routine at the moment. I shall try and post on here as often as I can, but it may not be quite as often as it was before for a while.

The trip to Koh Lanta and the encounter with my former living-in partner has made me rethink about my plans for the future now and couple that with my present situation on 'Parasite farm' with no obvious way out, then my mind is working overtime at the moment and I cannot easily apply myself to my blogs or my Asian Diaries at this time. The diaries are from the past and although we should learn from our past experiences, the future is what I am trying to concentrate on at the moment and it is not looking very good.

28 May, 2008: Visa trip to Penang/Emotional trip to Koh Lanta

I have just finished and uploaded the full story about my last trip to Penang, to my legless HQ website. I took me quite a long time to write because the events that happened during this trip, especially my side trip to Koh Lanta were very emotional for me and have caused me to rethink my whole future. For you to understand fully, you would have to read the story that I have just uploaded to http://www.leglesshq.com/reedasia/Penang-Kohlanta.htm

For anyone who has already read my book Legless in Thailand, then they will be able to follow this story easily and understand the strong emotions involved with what I did, or what I was attempting to do last week in a side trip to Koh Lanta to meet with my former living-in partner of ten years, whom I have not seen or spoken to for the last ten years.

27 May, 2008: Visa trip - unforeseen events and spontaneous decisions

There has been no post to this blog or any of my other blogs for quite a long time now, this has been due to my recent trip to Penang to renew my Thai visa. A trip that usually takes me less than one week has ended up taking me almost two weeks, mainly due to events beyond my control and a spontaneous decision that I made to re-visit a very painful part of my life, which is also the main reason why I refer to my book as 'The autobiography of a fool'.

To talk about this trip fully would take a lot of writing and although I do want to write about it whilst it is fresh in my mind, I do not think that it would be practical to write it as a post on this blog. So what I have decided to do is just make this post a normal size and write about my recent trip as a new story in the 'Ex Post Facto true short stories' section of my legless HQ website, I shall then link to the story itself in a future post on this blog.

15 May, 2008: Ticket to ride

Well I am all set to go now, I have finished another page for my Asian Diaries today, my bag is packed, I am writing this blog now, I have a little bit of SEO to do and hopefully with the help of a few beers, I can get to sleep at a reasonable time tonight.

My next input to this blog will probably be on Saturday in Penang, at least in Penang my favourite beer, Guinness, is a more reasonable price there than Thailand. So my next input will be a Guinness induced posting

14 May, 2008: Preparations for the trip

I am working late tonight as I normally do, but this time tomorrow I have to be asleep. Friday morning I have to catch my first train at 08:00, the train station is 20 km away so I have to leave the farm no later than 07:30. The second train is not too bad it only leaves Bangkok at 14:45, so I have an hour or more to spare there, if I get the first one on time. I get to Penang usually about 15:00 local time so the total time that I spend travelling is about 31 hours. The train from Bangkok to Butterworth is a sleeper and I usually take enough beers with me to sleep quite well, so no problem!

There is no internet on the train, so I will not be able to post on here for about two days after tomorrow, but I am sure that when I get to Penang I shall have something to write about on here.

13 May, 2008: Storms and my Asian diaries

I am sorry about no post on my blog yesterday. I am limited to a little connection time to the internet these days because we are having storms here at the moment and I disconnect the telephone line from my modem during the storms because I do not want another modem fried like the last one.

I have also now just started on a very interesting part of my Asian Diaries, I have just completed my latest page writing about when I went for a night out in Bangkok for the very first time. Although it is not apparent in the diaries yet, as it wasn't to me at that time also, that first night out in Bangkok was going to change my life completely and start events that would ultimately lead to where I am now, legless in Thailand.

11 May, 2008: Countdown to Penang

I shall be travelling to Penang again next Friday, a friend in Bangkok has just got my ticket for me and has sent it to me on a minibus that should be arriving here within the next two hours. I am really looking forward to going to Penang this time, I haven't seen my friends there at the Blue Diamond hotel for four months now and I miss them, I have no friends here on the farm, only the smiling parasites.

Another good thing about going to Penang, is that I get control of my ATM card again

They also sell Guinness at the Blue Diamond hotel in Penang, which is my favourite beer

To make the most of this trip, I have decided to extend it a little and stopover in Hat Yai for a couple of days on the way back, I met some nice people there last time that I would like to see again and it also delays my return to this place. I have just managed to buy a larger flash drive unit 2GB, so I can take a lot of my work with me too and still write this blog and my Asian Diaries whilst I am away in Penang this time

09 May, 2008: Ian Reed - Internet identity theft

Well, having told you a few days ago about people using the name John McMiken on their internet websites/webpages, doing my usual SEO work today and sometimes using my own name in the search, I now find that other people are using my real name also now. Not only using my name, they are actually copying and putting some of the posts from this blog on there for the search engines to find, they are using the words amputee, Thailand and legless too. I hope that the search engines can modify their algorithms to stop these imposters or at least not display them in their search results.

I expect this from the scammers that I play with and I know that they are using my name in some of their scams now, so if you receive an email from a Mr. Ian Reed offering you a large amount of money for doing very little, or saying that you have won a lottery or competition that you never entered, then I can assure you of two things, one, it isn't me and two, it definitely is not real, just a scam. On the subject of scams, many of the scammers that I deal with have email addresses like: pacificbank, ecobank, claimsagent, etc. @ hotmail, yahoo, myway, live, etc. why don't the email providers stop this or ban certain words for use in their email accounts? Oh well, just a thought!

08 May, 2008: Stumpy's birthday - 7 years old today

Checking the date today and counting the days until my next trip to Penang, today's date struck a chord with me. At first I couldn't think why, I was trying to think who's birthday it was, but everyone that I could think of didn't have a birthday today, so I couldn't understand why today seemed to be special to me. It wasn't until much later when I noticed some of the surface covering (skin) peeling off my prosthesis that I thought "I must do something with that!" It is still fully functional, but aesthetically it is not very nice, so then I was trying to work out how long I had it from new and then the reason for today seeming special came to me in a flash. Today is the seventh anniversary of the accident in which I lost the lower part of my left leg, so today is the seventh birthday of 'Stumpy', my nickname for what is left of my leg. Well, Stumpy himself cannot drink, so I shall have to have a few extra drinks for him today. "Happy Birthday Stumpy!"

07 May, 2008: Blog maintenance day

Once a month, I have to put some time aside and sort out my blogs properly and this month, today is the day. If I didn't archive the blogs and just let them increase in size, then this blog would be so large that it would take a very long time to load. It does take a little time to do, because not only do I have to copy and load last months posts onto a new archive page, but I also have to create links both ways too, update the RSS feed and update the sitemap for the new archive so that the search engines can find it too.

Well, whilst I am writing this post, then I am not doing the archive, so it will have to be just a short post today, not much to talk about really anyway, just writing my Asian diaries, doing my SEO work and playing with scammers, just the usual stuff. It is hot here today, no clouds in the sky, so I think that I shall get myself a cool beer and start drinking early today.

06 May, 2008: Termites in the food chain

We had a heavy storm here early in the evening tonight, so I took my usual precautions now and disconnected the phone line from my modem. It lasted for about one and a half hours and it was dark before I could connect to the internet again safely. I was now behind time with my SEO work so I started on that right away. Then I noticed something flying in front of my monitor and I just tried to hit it away and then I saw that the light across the room was swarming with flying bodies and I realised that the termites were back again, I had planned for it this time though, so I went across the yard to where we keep the small chickens, switched a bright light on above them, rushed back to my computer, switched the monitor off and then switched the nearby light off too. As planned, all of the termites headed for the bright light above the chickens and swarmed there and when they lost their wings and dropped to the floor, the young chickens ate them all, so they just became part of the food chain here.

04 May, 2008: John McMiken - Internet identity theft

When I had completed the first draft of my legless book two to three years ago, even though my real name is Ian Reed, I decided to use the writing name of John McMiken, the reasons for choosing this name are given on the author page of my website 'Author' so I shall not repeat them here. I then realised that for anyone interested to find my book, then the name of John McMiken would have to be relatively high profile on the internet. So starting about two and a half years ago, I used the name on my websites, when registering on forums and when writing articles anywhere on the web. I also started my SEO work then and have painstakingly spent many hours each day ever since then trying to make my writing name high profile on the web. Well, I did succeed at that, you can just put my name in any search engine now and my websites will appear on the first results page.

Recently though, I am finding that the high profile and relatively famous name on the internet does come at a price. Other website / webpage owners seeing that my name is ranking highly with the search engines, have now started to use my name on their own websites, pages, keyword meta tags, page titles and descriptions, and also in the content of some of their pages, even using the title of my book too. As I have said already, to get to this high profile stage has taken me many years of hard work and now these people want their websites to be high ranking but without putting any work into them themselves, just by using my name. To me this is a form of identity theft and should be treated as such. More beer may help me to accept it easier for today.

03 May, 2008: Reed in Asia - Asian Diaries - RSS feed installed

I decided yesterday that because I am now working hard on my Reed in Asia Asian Diaries and producing a new page virtually every day, that it would much more convenient for anyone who is interested in reading them if I installed an RSS feed for the diaries, so that anyone who has subscribed to the feed can see on their browser quickly when a new page has been uploaded. I have been working on this new RSS feed for the last two hours and I have just finished the installation now. It is now 02:20 on Saturday morning here in Thailand and I think that after all the work that I have been doing this evening, that I now deserve to relax and have a few beers to help me to sleep.

02 May, 2008: The scammers have gone very quiet

The scam that I told you about two days ago, that said that my 40 million dollars being transferred had been delayed in Canada. Well, they came back to me a couple of days ago and asked me to contact an attorney who would sort it all out, so I sent an email to the attorney that they gave me and I was expecting a reply asking for xxx thousand dollars to do this (usual advance fee fraud scam), well he surprised me and replied saying that his fee was $100,000 if I agreed and was payable to him upon receipt of the 40 million in my bank. Of course I agreed to this and sent him an email accepting his offer, but I was trying to work out how the scammers were going to gain from this, in the many years that I have been doing this I have never had this scenario before, it is completely new to me.

Well that was two days ago now and there has been no more contact from them since then, so the only thing that I can think of that has stopped them, is that maybe one of them has found this blog and is reading about himself on here.

01 May, 2008: Back in time in Thailand

You are probably getting a little bored now with me keep mentioning about my Reed in Asia Asian Diaries but I am spending a lot of time on them now and I really don't have anything else to talk about, only the weather and my scam playing games, so it is all a little boring really. Today I have just uploaded Asia18 which is the first page for the new Thailand section of my Asian diaries and although I have lived in Thailand on and off for a very long time now, going back to the time that I first set foot in Thailand 24 years ago is making me think about my feelings back then, when Thailand was just a country that I had heard about, but I really knew nothing at all about the country or the people in those days and it was quite a culture shock for me at the time.

I shall finish talking about that now and if anyone would like to know more then click on the Reed in Asia link above. The one more thing that I shall tell you about it, is that the Thailand section of my Asian diaries is going to be by far the largest section on my Legless HQ website, because just my first visit to Thailand alone will take me about two months to write about properly. Well I shall end on that note today and try to think of something else more interesting to tell you about next time.

30Apr., 2008: Ongoing scam games and more

I was waiting for further developments with the scams that I am currently playing with before I made another post on here. Well today, I have received an email telling me that the transferred funds ($40 M) are delayed in Canada and they require to contact me before they will be transferred. This is a new one on me, they haven't called for a fee YET, but I am expecting that to happen very soon, in the meantime I just continue playing the unsuspecting victim and keep asking them when I will receive my forty mllion dollars

My Reed in Asia Asian Diaries I am still working on each day and I have to bring the first diary in Singapore to a close this week somehow and move on to the next one, so I shall be busy with that for the next few days and may not have time to post on here as regularly as I normally do. As usual, my writing is assisted by beer and being legless already, it does tend tohelp with my thought processes

27Apr., 2008: Ongoing scam games

Even though I haven't mentioned about it on here for a while, I am still playing with scammers everyday and I receive a new scam virtually every other day. I have about six on the go at the moment and two of them are due to transfer 42 million dollars into my bank account this week

I have been playing with these scammers for many years now and I have been in this position many times before, I know exactly what is going to happen next. The 'bank' will send me a fund wire transfer receipt to show me that the money is being transferred now, then about one day later I should receive an email with the subject heading 'Stop Order'. This email will show that it has been sent by a government, the IMF or some other official body and it will state the following:

As soon as we receive a valid certificate, then your funds will continue to be transferred and should be in your bank within the next 48 hours. If you do not already have this certificate, then we can arrange it for you, please just send the cost of the certificate $2,500 by Western Union money transfer using the details below:

Name: Mr. Nkomo Scambo

So I am expecting these emails to arrive within the next couple of days, because the one thing that I can guarantee with these scammers, is that there are no real funds being transferred or I would be extremely wealthy already

26 Apr., 2008: Flying termite time again

Because the rains have started early here this year, so have the flying termites and I was not expecting them yet. Working at night as usual and outside on a farm, my light is the only light visible for miles here late at night, so the termites automatically head for it. I was just sitting legless at my computer with a beer last night and going over my new website pages, when it suddenly started to go a little dim, so I looked over at the neon light and it was covered and completely surrounded by flying termites, thousands of them and more arriving by the minute. There was nothing that I could do, if I switched the light off, they would all head for the only other light around, my computer monitor, so I just let them swarm around the light which is about four metres away from me and continued working at my computer and occasionally checking them. One or two ventured near me, so even though it was quite cool, I switched the fan on next to me to keep them away.

Two hours later and they were still coming, the floor underneath the light was about three inches thick with swarming, dark brown bodies now, because they lose their wings after a while and all settle on the ground. I eventually finished my website work, I was quite tired and I had to switch my computer off before I switched the main light off, then I switched the main light off and quickly jumped on my sofa/bed and pulled a blanket over my body and head hoping that any termites still flying would go now and not come near me. This goes on for about two weeks now, so tonight I know that shall have them for company again, but this time I shall be expecting them and put some bowls of water under the light, so that they drop in the bowls when they lose their wings and don't swarm anywhere and I can feed them to the chickens tomorrow then.

25 Apr., 2008: Website Asian diaries update and upcoming trip itinerary

Still raining each day now, so I am limiting my internet connection time to the times when there is absolutely no chance of my modem getting hit by the lightning again. I have added two more pages now to my Reed in Asia, Asian Diaries about my life in the RAF in Singapore in the mid-1970s.

Nothing much else to talk about today, I am still doing my daily SEO work and still trying to plan an escape from here, but other than that nothing unusual really. I am looking forward to going back to Penang for my next visa trip in about three weeks time and I shall probably have a couple of legless nights in the Blue Diamond hotel there. I think this time I shall also drop off in Hat Yai again on the way back to call in and see my new found friends at the 'I Red' cafe there and chat about things.

23 Apr., 2008: The times they are a changin'

The rains have started early in Thailand this year, usually the rainy season here doesn't start until the end of May, but for the last three or four days now the rain has been quite strong and starts at the same time of day everyday, about 16:00. I was caught unawares a few days ago and consequently my modem became a casualty of a localised electrical storm. The storm wasn't directly overhead at the time, but the lightning must have hit one of the telephone lines a few miles away and even though I wasn't connected to the internet at the time, my modem took the brunt of the strike and was fatally wounded.

I now disconnect the telephone line from my computer when I go to bed and don't reconnect it again until the rains finish each evening, to renew my modem cost me $15 and I don't need to throw any more of my money away like that at the moment. The weather has changed here a lot over the last year, before, the seasons were fairly predictable here but this year that has changed, I think that it must be something to do with this global warming that is in the news a lot now, but not being a meteorologist/geologist, I don't understand how global warming can make some of the seasons colder here.

Well, a few beers may help me to work that one out, so I shall start immediately.

22 Apr., 2008: Beer and ideas

I mainly work at night on my websites and also doing my SEO work for them, I am very nocturnal these days. What I have noticed recently is that I tend to get ideas for new webpages or new graphic designs usually very early in the morning when I am almost ready to go to sleep and I have to write them down or apply them before I sleep, otherwise I would forget about them. This has happened many times to me now and try as I may, during the day I just don't get any new ideas come into my brain as easily. I have tried to analyse this and the first thing that I came up with was that, during the day there are more people around and more traffic passing by and so generally more noise, but even when there is nobody around and very little traffic, I still don't get new ideas as easily as I do at night time or early mornings. Again trying to analyse this, I started looking at the other differences between day time and night time and I realised that at night I know that I always feel far more relaxed in myself than during the day, so it must be the relaxation that is helping me.

Analysing this further, why am I more relaxed at night than daytime? I am still sitting at the same place legless at my computer, but then I realised that during the day I am working at my computer with a constantly filled cup of tea at the side of me, but at night time the cup of tea is replaced by a mug of beer

So I have come to the conclusion now that ideas are related to beer consumption and when you reach your optimum intake of beer, then the ideas just flow through you like a river and I must reach my optimum point at the same time everyday, which for me is usually early morning. Therefore using legless logic, if I increase the speed of my intake of beer then I should reach my optimum point much earlier, so I would have to drink faster to achieve this. This seems like a very logical conclusion to me, so I shall end this post now and try to reach my optimum point much faster today.

20 Apr., 2008: Legless information - Words!!

Working with the search engines again yesterday, I was just checking the words on my webpages, feeding some of them into the various search engines and seeing which ones picked up on the words that I input. Looking at my home page for Legless in Thailand, I input the two words 'legless' and 'information' and sure enough for these two words my website appeared on the first results page on every search engine that I used. I don't advertise legless information as a service, but on the same page it has 'Legless in Thailand' and in another part it says 'Thailand information' so this just shows how the search engines can latch onto any two words on any page, wheher truly relevant to a search or not.

So this got me thinking, as I always just speak my mind on this blog and use general English terms, if I were to say on here the old English expression of "I am really thirsty, I could just murder a pint of cool beer now", then if someone searched for legless murder, this page would show up in the results and maybe I could be accused of a crime that I did not commit

So as I now show up on a search for legless information, if any of you need any legless information, then you know who to contact

19 Apr., 2008: Act of God - Lightning strike Reed coat of arms

I had just finished another page for my Reed in Asia site yesterday and I was going to connect to the internet and upload it, when there was a loud crack from inside my computer and it just shut down. A couple of seconds later there was an almighty crash of thunder and I thought that the electric had shut down from a lightning strike, but looking around me the electric fan was still working and nothing else seemed to be affected, just my computer had shutdown.

I was thankful that I had saved everything before it shutdown, so I thought "Okay I shall just restart it, connect to the internet and upload my files now". I restarted the computer okay and then tried to connect to the internet, but I kept getting the error message 'telephone number engaged', I tried many times with the same result, so then I went to the telephone and manually dialled the same number and I got the internet 'handshake sound', so I went back to my computer and tried again and I got 'telephone number engaged'. I then knew that I had a problem with my modem, it had obviously been fried by the lightning strike. Living in the countryside, I had to get a lift to the nearest town and went to the only computer shop in town, only to find out that they were closed for the day and that they would be open again today, so no internet yesterday.

I went to the computer shop again today and managed to get a modem, the last one in stock, the guy there told me that this happens a lot around here. I bought the modem, returned home and replaced the modem in my computer and I had my internet connection back again five minutes later. so my new resolution now is 'any sign of a storm nearby, take the telephone line out of the modem'.

17 Apr., 2008: Yet another page from the legless fool Reed coat of arms

Working again today on my 'Reed in Asia' site, I managed to complete yet another page and uploaded it to my website. The story on today's page is about discovering Singapore a little bit more, the title of the page today is Singapore our new home now. if you would like to view this new page then please click here.

Nothing else of interest really to talk about today, I still have my personal ongoing problems and trying to come up with a workable idea of how to fix them, but nothing so far that seems to fit the bill. I am now just looking forward to next month when I can go to Penang again and visit all my friends there, maybe I can talk to them about it and someone can come up with an idea.

16 Apr., 2008: Another page from the legless fool Reed coat of arms

Working again today on my 'Reed in Asia' site, I managed to complete another page and uploaded it to my website. The story on today's page is about first impressions and trying to get used to living in Singapore, the title of the page is Singapore acclimatisation. if you would like to see this page then please click here.

Also, working on my usual SEO for my websites today, I try to understand exactly what the search engines are doing and try my best to analyse their results, but Yahoo in the past couple of weeks has got me absolutely stumped. The webpages or sites of mine that come up on the first page and sometimes in first position, on other search engine's results, Yahoo now has me way down in their results pages and these are pages of mine that Yahoo have shown on the first results page before for the same keywords.

Today I was putting in the keywords for my legless book again and it was coming up very high on the first results pages for many keywords with other search engines, but not with Yahoo. Then I put in the descriptive comment of mine 'Legless fool' and my book came up number one on almost all of the search engine's results and this time I was even number one on Yahoo too. So I have come to the conclusion that Yahoo just has me categorised as a legless fool.

15 Apr., 2008: Reed in Asia at Legless HQ new upload Reed coat of arms

No post again yesterday because I was again working on a new page (asia3.htm) for the Reed in Asia section of the legless HQ website. This concerns my first trip to SE Asia and an unusual incident on the aircraft that took me there. At that time I was still serving in the RAF and I had just been posted to RAF Tengah in Singapore. This was about thirty five years ago and Singapore was still quite a pleasant place to visit and live in then. I spent three years living in Singapore and I have quite a lot to talk about, so this part of the story will probably take me about one more week to complete properly. The completed page about the eventful journey to Singapore was completed and uploaded yesterday, so if anyone would like to take a look at it then please click here.

13 Apr., 2008: Reed in Asia at Legless HQ update Reed coat of arms

After a lot of work today, I finally completed and uploaded a second page to the Reed in Asia section of my new HQ website. Like the first page that I wrote, which is mainly about Bahrain, the second page is also set in a period of time when I was still serving in the RAF and it covers the build up to my first posting and subsequent trip to South East Asia and the major personal events that were happening in my life at that time. Writing about this period in my life is sometimes quite difficult for me, because it is the first time that I have thought about this period for many years and personal emotions from that time start flowing through me, but as usual these days, more beer helps me to cope with this quite well

12 Apr., 2008:Reed in Asia at Legless HQ Reed coat of arms

No blog post again yesterday, because I am still working on the new legless HQ websites. Yesterday I was working on the Reed in Asia section of the HQ website, this part is basically about an overall view of my life in different countries in Asia, where I have lived and worked before. Yesterday, I started with my first introduction to an Asian country and why I went there. I shall be adding to this Reed in Asia section with time and writing many of my experiences in this part of the world on there. It is still being worked on at the moment, but if anyone would like to see it now http://reedasia.leglesshq.com

Well, back to my website work now and also to play with the usual scams that I have going at the moment, I have 65 million dollars due to be transferred to me this week, so party time!

10 Apr., 2008:Playing with scammers for distraction Scum of the earth

The scam that I told you about yesterday I found quite funny and as usual I have received some more today. For some reason I must look like a good target to these scammers, but I would have thought by now that I would have been on a blacklist somewhere, because they never get anything from me. I just enjoy letting them think that I am one of their usual victims and I also enjoy imagining them squirm when they don't get what they want from me and change their tactics trying to find a way to get some money from me. I am keeping a record of all of these scams, their MOs, scenarios and tricks that they use, because I have plans to write a future book about them. Playing with these scammers also helps to distract me from my own pressing, personal problems, so these scams are a little useful for me.

9 Apr., 2008:Legless scam games in Thailand Scum of the earth

I was awakened today by my mobile phone ringing, this is very unusual for me, because usually nobody ever phones me. The person on the other end of the line said that he was a diplomatic courier and that he was at Bangkok's Suwannabhumi airport and that he had problems at customs. My brain then started to go over some of the scam games that I have on the go at the moment and I realised which one this was supposed to be. I have had this scenario before with these scammers and usually they say that they are at Bangkok airport, but really they are in Nigeria or somewhere similar. This one surprised me a little though, because looking at my phone, the telephone number displayed was a Thai mobile number. So continuing to play their game, I asked him what the problem was, from experience I knew what he was going to say next. He said that he didn't have a required clearance certificate and that I could arrange this by sending $3,200 to a company colleague that he would send to me by email and went on to ask me to check my email now, then closed the line.

When I checked my email, he had given me the name and address of someone in Uk and given instructions to send the required $3,200 to this person by Western Union money transfer. I know that this is all a scam game, even though this courier is supposed to be carrying $10,000,000 for me, so I just forwarded his email to the 'consignee' saying that if he needed his courier to be cleared by Thai customs, then he would have to sort out the clearance certificate, knowing full well that it is all just a pre-planned game to try and get money from me, but I enjoy playing them at their own game.

It went quiet for a while, so I made myself my usual cup of tea and breakfast of bananas. I had already saved the telephone number in my mobile, so when my phone rang again about thirty mnutes later it was flashing the name of 'Scam' as the caller, I answered the call and the person at the other end of the line was obviously getting flustered now, he asked me quickly if I had sent the money to clear him from customs, so I just slowly replied that I had sent an email to the consignee to clear this problem, this flustered him even more and he asked me if I had any money to help, so I just casually replied that I had about $15 and asked him if that would help. He then changed tactics and said that he would have to stay longer than expected and that he didn't have the money for his expences, so I then said to him, 'Well, just pass your phone to a Thai customs official and I can sort this out in five minutes", he then asked me what I was going to say to the Thai customs, to which, I just replied that it was just between me and the Thai customs official and none of his business. At this point 'the courier' said that he would go to the customs office to arrange it and he closed the phone, that was the last I heard from him

The funny thing about this story is that the 'diplomatic courier', was supposed to be English and went by the name of 'Newman Charlton' and I almost laughed out loud when I first spoke to him on the phone, because he had the thickest Nigerian accent that I have ever heard before. Well! I don't think that I shall be hearing from that scam again, but I have another five scams on the go at the same time, so I shall have some fun with them too

8 Apr., 2008:'Legless ex RAF' I am in good company on the web

I was just using some of the words from my websites on the search engines yesterday, I put in the two words 'legless' and 'RAF'. These words are used on my websites because I am legless, I served in the RAF for more than 12 years and I was just checking if the search engines had registered these words for me. I was quite surprised that most of the search engines had me listed on the first results page for these words, even some of the pages from my new legless HQ website where there too. I was not surprised by the only other person listed in these results though and quite rightly for me, Douglas Bader dominated the results. Douglas Bader was my childhood hero, the famous, legless, World War II flying ace for the RAF. I personally met Douglas in the late 1960s when I had just finished studying at the RAF college, he even showed me one of his false legs then too.

I never thought at the time when I met Douglas, that about forty years later I would have the same physical disability that he had already been coping with for many years by that time and I think that it is because of the influence of his attitude upon me, that I don't let my own physical problem of being legless get me down. In fact, I don't even think about it most of the time at all, I can fully understand now how Douglas just got on with what he felt that he had to do at the time and didn't even give his personal disabilities a second thought.

So just by using the search engines to check my website rankings yesterday, brought back some good memories for me and prompted me to think about someone whom I hadn't thought about for a very long time and now having the same physical problem myself, it has given me an insight into the way that Douglas must have been thinking during the war and how he quite easily coped with it.

Thinking about all of this 'legless stuff' has made me thirsty now. "Time for more beer!"

7 Apr., 2008:Legless on overtime at HQ

I didn't write any post yesterday because I am still trying to iron out all of the glitches with my new HQ site, many times I have thought that I had finished it, but then working through all of the pages, I click on a link and my customised error page appears and usually the problem is either the file extension is wrong, or it is looking for the file in a folder that doesn't exist, because on the HQ site all of the folders / directories have new names, so the files that I have copied from my other sites now reside in different folders on the new site.

I still have plans to create more new pages and folders for this site, but they have to take a back seat at the moment whilst I get the site functioning 100% correctly, because this is something that the search engines check when they index / spider your site and it is very important. If anyone reading this post is interested in my HQ site, it is available now at http://www.leglesshq.com and if you find any problems whilst you are on there I would appreciate any feedback from any of you. Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, Yahoo has my HQ site in their cache memory now too.

5 Apr., 2008:Google first again

Working on my new website again today, I still have to make time to do my daily SEO work for my other websites. Today checking my search engine rankings I just typed in 'Legless HQ' to see what websites rank for these words and I got a pleasant surprise from Google again, Google has my new website ranked already. My Legless headquarters website has only been uploaded for five days and again Google has shown just how quick and efficient they are at monitoring the web as a whole.

4 Apr., 2008:Back on the hunt

I am very busy at the moment with the new website, but I just took a quick break to write this post. Although my new website has virtually the same content as my existing websites, the links and button destinations are completely different and also because I am relocating some of the pages it is very easy to overlook that although 'home' points to the 'index page', sometimes the index has an 'htm' extention and sometimes it has an 'html' extension, so consequently the odd one doesn't work having been relocated now. So now I am having to check through all of my new webpages and it takes a lot of time and a lot of beer to do it properly

Something that I have not spoken about for a long time is my Ramsay Hunt Syndrome 'RHS', I am still suffering with it a little but it has eased a lot, now the only symptoms are the drooping mouth and jaw on one side of my face and I am still unable to close one of my eyes properly. There has been no facial pain again for more than a month now, so hopefully it is repairing itself gradually, only time will tell!

3 Apr., 2008:My legless name

When I lost my leg, it didn't really cause me any great concern and still doesn't today, I don't let physical problems get me down, just something that you have to put up with and accept. So now I am 'legless' just accept it and make the most of it if you can. I find it a little amusing sometimes that other people feel sorry or pity for my physical disability, because I don't feel any of those things for myself about being an amputee, it's just normal for me now.

Living in Thailand, every two months I have to travel to Penang for Thai visa regulations and I had been doing this for a while now. When I first went to Penang, I found a good, reasonably priced place to stay, the Blue Diamond Hotel in Georgetown. This hotel also has a good food and drink area at the front and features live music in the evenings, which I enjoy, so this soon became my regular haunt when visiting Penang. The staff in the hotel are very friendly and because I am a regular visitor, fairly soon they all recognised me on sight each time I went there. But probably because they have hundreds of different guests each week, the one thing that they had problems remembering about me, was my name.

So just after I received my first copy of my published book early last year, I had to go again to Penang for Thai visa regulations and whilst I was sitting in the cafe area at the Blue Diamond, just proof-reading my book, the owner of the hotel there spotted me, recognised me and came over to greet me. He was interested in my book and asked if he could borrow it to read, so I agreed and gave it to him. He then started to thank me and I could see that he was struggling to remember my name, but he glanced at the book and then said "Thank you John, I shall make sure that you have it back before you leave". I started smiling then and explained to him that John McMiken is only my writing name and that my real name is Ian, he had my book 'Legless in Thailand' in his hand, so I just pointed to it and said "Maybe it is easier if you just call me 'Legless'" and pointed to my false leg and said "You know that I am legless anyway, so it will be much easier for you to remember".

So that was how my name 'Legless' started and now everyone who knows me in Penang greets me by shouting "Hi Legless, how's it going?" and nobody forgets my name anymore.

2 Apr., 2008:Legless Headquarters HQ

I have been quiet for a few days now because I have been working on a new website full time snd I have not even had time for this blog. The new websoite is called Legless Headquarters (HQ) and is now operational at http://www.leglesshq.com What I have been doing with this new website is consolidating all of my websites into one server for ease of use and speed for the viewer. I still have my old veteran websites like this blog and my new websites still look and feel the same as the existing ones. The time that it has taken me is because every single link on every page on all of my websites had to be changed and it has been a real legless nightmare trying to make everything perfect without hitches.

It is still not perfect yet and will take some time to iron out all of the glitches that I haven't spotted yet, but the majority of the work is done now and the rest will just take regular routine maintenance. Because of the extra webspace that I have now, I have treated myself to a personal website in my new group of sites and I shall be putting a lot of personal information on there with time that I can use to refer people from my blog here to see, my new personal site is available at: http://reedasia.leglesshq.com it is just basic at the moment, because that was the last thing that I was doing before I eventually got to sleep early this morning.

30 Mar., 2008:Google updates outpacing the rest

Three days ago I told you on here that I had uploaded my new Laos trip webpage to my server, well Google is finding it in it's searches already. Because I work with the search engines everyday, I am aware of their individual idiosyncrasies so really I was not overly surprised, I already expected Google to be the first to find it, but it did surprise me a little with the speed of update.

With the posts on this blog I know that Google updates it's cache memory for every 24 hours, which with an active blog, this is really required and Google knows that. So I expect it now from Google with blogs, but it was a little surprising with the speed that they update new webpages too. On both counts Google is far ahead of any other search engine and has now become my standard when I am searching for anything on the web.

29 Mar., 2008:Legless without beer

During the last year whilst I have been staying on the farm with the parasites, the one thing that they have always taken care of for me whilst pocketing my money, is that they have always kept me in beer. They have always managed to keep me in beer, probably thinking that if I have beer available all of the time then I will not check where the money is going.

Well, tonight for the first time in a year, I have run out of beer, so things are definitely getting serious now

I really must get out of here just as quickly as I can now, I have had no reply from my friend in Bangkok yet, so maybe I have to try to think of someone else or another method of escape soon.

28 Mar., 2008:More plans and schemes to escape

Still trying anything that I can to get out of my present situation, I sent an email today to an old friend in Bangkok and I hope that he will respond quite quickly. What I need to get out of this situation are two things that I do not presently have, I need somewhere else to go to stay and I need transport to go there when I have somewhere to go to.

Being legless and on a farm in the middle of nowhere now I need help to arrange these two things and because I intend to move back to Bangkok, I need someone in Bangkok to help me with these. I really need to move quickly if I can, because my pension money for April goes into my bank account on 7 April, so I need to move before that date so that the parasites that I am living with cannot get their hands on any of it.

I cannot let the parasites know what I am up to, so I just smile and act normally around them, but my mind is working all the time trying to find a quick way out of this mess now. So this was my reason for attempting to contact someone in bangkok to help. ''Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!'' Time for more beer now.

27 Mar., 2008:Legless in Laos is uploaded and ready to view

I uploaded my Laos webpage today, having finished the first draft of the page and story of my trip to Vientiane. I had to draw two maps using my graphics program for this page to help to explain the places that I talk about in my story. I tried to find the street maps of Vientiane on the internet to help, but I could not find the area that I stayed in and talk about, so I had to draw a small street map from memory and that is why it has taken me so long to finish it.

I have put some information, advice and tips for others who are thinking about doing this journey on the webpage, so that other people don't have to learn the hard way like I had to. If you would like to take a look at my Laos webpage then please go to http://www.reedinter.co.uk/leglessinlaos.htm I shall try and improve on the maps later, because they are not absolutely perfect, just drawn from memory as I said before. I did enjoy my short trip to Laos and I am now looking forward to going there again in a few months time and next time I know exactly what to do, what to take and where to go, so it should be more like a short break / holiday next time.

I hope those of you who take a look, enjoy the new page about my trip to Laos. Well, it is that time of day now and I have to get my first beer of the day, so I shall end this post now and get legless again.

25 Mar., 2008:Its only words, and words are all I have

Yes, the words in the title of this post today are some of the words from a classic BGs song, but they are still very true. On the internet now words are becoming very important, not just the use of business related keywords, but every word on every webpage and especially on blogs like this one. Having my own websites, doing my own SEO for them and being a writer / author anyway, I probe and research with different words, analyse the results and try to assess how this can help me and my websites. This new importance of words could easily be misused and manipulated by people now just as a means to an end, rather than being of any inherent value and this is a major problem that the search engines now have to solve. They will have to separate the wheat from the chaff and instill confidence in the people that choose to use their search engine facilities.

What I have found in my research with this, is that irrespective of any order that words are entered into any search, the search engines just try to match as many words as they can with the sites that they have in their Cache memory / databases and the results are then displayed with the sites that have the most matching words at the top of the list and then working down accordingly. The syntax of the entered words does not seem to play any part in the search engine results and they tend to ignore general connecting words such as a, in, at, the, to, with, etc.

To give you an example of this, if someone typed into a search engine the following words: 'I would like a good hotel in Singapore with swimming pool, music and a restaurant with oriental food' the words that the search engines would try to match are: 'hotel, Singapore, good, swimming, music, pool, restaurant, oriental, food' and they would try to match as many of these words as they can, in any order. So when the results pages are displayed, at the top of the page will first be the sponsored results that matches any of these words, followed by the results from the web search itself and because syntax does not play any part in this, then in the results you would probably get things like: ' Hotel Singapore in Florida, the Oriental Hotel in Bangkok or a pool playing room anywhere that has music and sells 'Singapore slings' and food, etc. Only much further down the lists will you actually start getting the results from hotels in Singapore that the person doing the search really wanted and all because syntax does not play a part in the search engine algorithms, only words.

I analyse search engine results so that I can use words in my websites that people can find easily and that are relevant to a search. The webpage of mine that turns up most of the time for many searches is this blog and the reason for that is fairly obvious when you think about it, in a search engine's attempt to match all words entered in any search, just how many words do you think are used on my blog for this month alone?

Oh well! Today's post will give the search engines some more of my legless words to play with and it is now time for my first beer of the day anyway.

24 Mar., 2008:Hindsight, foresight, pragmatism and self-analysis

Even though I finished writing my book 'Legless in Thailand' a couple of years ago now, I still read it and refer to it regularly, I also pencil in changes and additions that I would like to make in any future second edition and maybe I will rename the book in a second edition to 'A Legless fool in Thailand' or something similar!

I have a lot of time on my hands these days and I use much of this time reflecting over my life and the mistakes that I have made before, and my 'legless book' I use as a reference to remind me of some of the stupid decisions that I came to before, that were mainly the result of emotionally influenced reactions in different situations. I know that it is easy to look back with hindsight objectively at some of the mistakes that you have made and many people have told me to forget the past and not to dwell on it. But, when your whole life has taken a major turn for the worse because of the stupid decisions that you made before, then I think that you should be pragmatic and learn from it. So now when any present or future situations / occurences remind you of the past, then you can use this as a signal to trigger your mind to look more objectively at what is happening at the present time and use your previous experiences to do a more careful analysis of your current situation. Foresight is not a sense that we are over-endowed with, but by being pragmatic and using your previous experiences to help you to predict what could possibly happen in any given future situation, then whatever does occur you already have many different options available in your own personal database (your brain) based upon objective reasoning, analysis and forethought, that you can use and just completely 'switch off' or block any emotions that may attempt to filter through

So the above procedure is what I try to do now and consequently I spend a much the time lost deep inside of myself trying to prepare for any possible scenario that may occur. Obviously you cannot prepare for every scenario that could possibly occur, but my outlook and motto for life now is: 'always try to expect the unexpected'. So nothing ever surprises me anymore!

Todays post has been quite a deep one and I felt the need to write all of this down for two reasons:

1. The realisation a few weeks ago that in my current situation I have made another mistake that was not expected or planned for, even though I do try to utilise the aforementioned techniques.

2. I have nobody else to talk to about this, so everyone reading this blog has to be bored with it.

22 Mar., 2008: Still working on my Laos webpage

I thought that I should write something in my blog again today after being away for almost a week in Vientiane. I am working on my Laos webpage now, but it is coming along very slowly, I only stayed in Vientiane for three days, but writing about it for my website is going to take me almost as long as the time that I stayed there. I would write brief details about the journey to Laos and also about finally arriving there, but then when I re-read it, somethiing else comes into my head that I should say and I start editing it again, it is the same as when I am working through my book manuscripts.

Getting away from my website work now, the overall impression that I got from my Laos trip was very good, Laos seems to have a very laid back atmosphere, it is quiet and has very little traffic and is generally relaxing and peaceful, so if anyone is looking for a peaceful and relaxing place to go for a holiday then I would definitely recommend going to Laos. Trying to write about Laos objectively, I have to try and balance things, there is nowhere in this world that is absolutely perfect, so I have been trying to think about things that annoyed or upset me in Laos and I can only come up with two very minor things. The first one being that probably due to the Frebch influence in the country, Laos traffic drives on the wrong side of the road for me. My second and last complaint that I can come up with, is that the food is very good in Laos and very similar to Thai food, but the cost of eating out is about fifty percent higher than the cost in Thailand. Well after thinking for a very long time, they are the only complaints that I can honestly come up with and I can come up with about fifty to a hundred times more complaints about my own country, England. So basically Laos has made a very good impression upon me and I am now really looking forward to when I have to go there again in about four month's time, alone next time!

21 Mar., 2008: Legless journey into the unknown

I just returned from my visa trip to Laos yesterday and I have many things to talk about from my trip, it was quite a tiring return journey and I was exhausted yesterday, so I just feel refreshed enough to write on here today. I did a lot of walking in Vientiane and the skin on my amputated leg started to chafe against the prosthesis again, so I had to limit my walks and rest a lot of the time.

Going to a country that you have never been to before is an experience in itself, but being legless in that new country was quite a learning curve for me. I learned about the border crossing and visa requirements going into Laos from Thailand, applying for a new Thai visa and the location of the Thai Embassy in Vietiane. I also had to quickly learn about the currency, which at 280 Laos Kip to one Thai Baht takes a lot of getting used to, but I developed a quick way to approximately convert it in my head out of basic necessity. The language was not too difficult because it is basically Thai and the people in general are very warm, friendly, helpful and understanding.

I have decided to create a new webpage on my website about my trip to Laos, because there are far too many things to say and explain about just on this blog, so when the new webpage is completed I shall link to it from this blog so that anyone interested can take a look at it. I shall probably entitle it in my usual amputee/legless style now, like: 'Legless in Laos', 'Legless in the Orient', 'Legless in the Far East', 'Legless venture to Vientiane', or something similar.

Overall though, it was a very interesting trip and the country and people made a very good impression upon me, I am just sorry that I dont own a camera, digital or otherwise, so that I could share some of the sights with you on here. Laos to me is like the old-fashioned Far East / Orient that I was first attracted to and that made a very pleasant and lasting impression upon me more than thirty years ago. The country is steeped in culture and the people are very pleasant, friendly and interesting in their own natural way, some of the attractive qualities that many other Far Eastern countries lost a very long time ago, in their futile attempt to appear 'developed' to the rest of the world.

Well that is all for now, I shall have to start work on the new webpage now and I shall let you know as soon as it is finished.

15 Mar., 2008: Legless and cats

I was quiet yesterday because I have been researching on the internet for my trip to Vientiene tomorrow. This is something new for me because I have never been to Laos before. I found many stories on the internet about people's problems at the Laos border post near Nong Khai and everyone seemed to agree about one thing, they all advise that any foreigner crossing into Laos should take US dollars with them and pay in US dollars at the border for the Laos visa which is displayed as $35 or the Laos immigration officials at the border post will try and cheat you if you try and pay with Thai baht and call for 5,000 baht or more. So I am a little fore-warned with this now and I shall take US dollars with me.

Today's headline is about cats, because cats are my favourite animals. In the times before my accident many years ago I had a large house and very big garden in Naklua near Pattaya and I had seventeen cats strolling around the grounds. Whenever I sat at my computer, like I am doing now, at least one of the cats would jump up and sit on my lap until I had finished working and then they would follow me around anywhere that I went. Those were very happy days for me, but in the words of the old English saying: 'You don't know what you have got until it has gone!' this is very true for me and not a day goes by now that I don't think of those happy times and wonder why I wanted more than I already had then.

I have just one Cat now that I can talk to about my troubles and she is a good listener, so it helps to take me back to the happy times that I knew before.

I have to start packing and preparing for my trip tomorrow now, I shall give you a report on Laos when I get back next Friday.

13 Mar., 2008: Legless and bananas with music

Bananas for breakfast has become a standard thing for me now as I mentioned in a post before. A hot cup of tea, bananas and sometimes a little cake, I find is very refreshing and just enough to start me off well for the day. I am usually writing this blog, eating bananas and sipping my tea, just as I am doing today. Oh! one thing that I forgot in my routine today was to put my music on, so I shall just do that now.

That's better! One of my favourite songs is now playing, 'Zombie' by the Cranberries. I have what I consider quite a good collection of songs on my computer that I like, songs by: the Cranberries, the Corrs, Eric Clapton, Scorpion, Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Phil Collins, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Rod Stewart, Ronan Keating and many older songs that I like from the 1980s. Music brings back memories for me, some good and some not so good, oh well! Time now for more tea and bananas!

12 Mar., 2008: Yahoo Legless

I was just in the process of doing my usual SEO work today when a new development from Yahoo came to light. Now this blog has gone missing from their search results for the obvious keywords of 'legless blog', I really don't know what Yahoo is playing at this week, but their search results are going crazy. All of the other search engines are still fine, it is only Yahoo that seems to have a problem. Maybe some of the staff at Yahoo are 'legless' this week.

12 Mar., 2008: Legless confusion with scams

As per usual I am still playing with scams on the internet on a daily basis and I try to remember the stories they use, so that I can play the scammers around without too much thought. Today though, I am a little confused, one email today was supposedly from a diplomatic courier that had just arrived in London with a consignment for me (supposedly millions of dollars ). I thought that I could remember which scam was supposedly sending me money with a courier, so I dug out the email address and sent an email to Africa complaining to him that I was in Thailand not UK, so why had the courier gone to UK? I later received a reply from the guy that his courier has not left yet and was only leaving for Thailand later today, so he didn't understand my message.

So obviously I had gotten the scams confused, but I cannot find which scam the supposed courier in UK was supposed to be from.

It doesn't really matter anyway because I know that they are scams, I know that there are no real couriers and there certainly isn't any millions of dollars destined for me, but I just got annoyed with myself for losing track of the scams that I am supposed to be playing with at the moment. Both of the emails today sent me attached photos of the consignments, which I have placed below for you to see. I am just collecting all of the emails and photos for a future book that I have planned about these scammers, in my scam vault at the moment I have a collection of about 2,500 scams.

11 Mar., 2008: Yahoo and Ian Reed (Legless)

Again doing my usual SEO and keyword routine today, I was going through my list of keywords and obviously one of them is 'Ian Reed', my real name, just in case anyone is searching for my sites by name. It is just a formality, because normally I appear on the first pages of all of the search engines, but I just like to check each day. Well today I got a surprise because I can't find my page on Yahoo, a webpage that has been on the SERPs for months has now disappeared, it has not just slipped in ranking, it has totally disappeared from Yahoo.

Yahoo has obviously changed something in their algorithm in the last 24 hours that has somehow caused my name and page not to register, other Ian Reeds are on there, so I am taking this personally. All of the other search engines still find me, it is just yahoo that has gone strange on me. I don't know why Yahoo has suddenly dropped me, maybe they just don't like the new photo that I put on my personal page

10 Mar., 2008: Legless unity - United we stand

Doing my usual SEO work for my websites yesterday, I put in the keywords 'legless unity' and came up number one on all of the search engines. This is no big surprise to me, because I coined the phrase 'legless unity' when I opened this blog and showed my support for Heather Mills.

So again, sitting back with a beer later and thinking about my keywords and results, an amusing thought came into my head and I just had to write it down on here. The very old English saying of 'united we stand', I thought that this would be a great motto for a whole bunch of legless amputees like myself and I burst out laughing to myself just thinking about a bunch of one-legged people holding on to each other, with this motto above their heads, it amused me so much that I had to have a few more beers to calm down

9 Mar., 2008: Almost visa time again for the Legless Farang.

Sunday next week, I have to leave to get a visa again, but this time I cannot go back to Penang. The regulations here have changed 'again' and now you cannot go to the same Thai Embassy more than two times consecutively, or with the second visa you get a full-page red stamp in your passport that states 'No more visas may be issued in Penang or xxxxxxx'. So my easiest and cheapest alternative is to go to Vientienne, Laos. The problem with this for me, is that I have never been there before, so I don't know where to stay or how much the Hotels or guest houses are. I also don't know the local currency, exchange rates, or the location of the Thai embassy, or any agents that can help to do the visa for you.

So this next trip is going to be an absolutely new learning curve for me and at the top of my list of 'things to do' when I get there, is to find somewhere to stay and then to find where I can buy cheap beer and check what type of beer is available there. More about this subject when the legless farang returns from Laos in about two weeks time.

7 Mar., 2008: Masters of the word, the media and the web

I state on the intro. to this blog that the main reason for me starting this 'Legless Blog' was because of the treatment of Heather Mills in the media and that is still true, but only partially true. Working on the internet most of the time, I had seen some of the hype about 'blogs' and how 'social media' was starting to have a big influence on the web and would eventually control the web, but being more involved with my own websites and trying to promote my book on the web, I just scanned over a few posts about it, shrugged it off and then continued with my normal work.

It was very much later when I kept seeing all of the links on the search engines to various blogs on the internet, that I started to take a closer look at this. I was still quite skeptical about the value of blogs at the time, but when I read some of them and saw that many of them were criticising Heather Mills, I decided to create a blog of my own and give her a little support in what I classify as 'legless unity'. I also saw how many of these blogs seemed to be very highly ranked by the search engines, so it is a combination of both of these factors that is the reason why I decided to create this blog.

I had problems with the search engines acknowledging me when I first started this blog, even though I had linked to it from my own fairly high-ranking websites, but after a relatively short while, this blog eventually started to creep up in the search results. Being a writer now anyway, I could see that all of the words used in any blog post registers with the search engines and is used in their search for the 'keywords' input for any search. It was only then, that I saw how the power of the word was now very important and that is why blogs rate so highly, because there are far more words used in any blog than there are on a normal website and this gives blogs the 'advantage' to more accurately match up with virtually any 'keywords' input. With this knowledge and knowing that the search engines algorithms are now being more tuned towards 'content' rather than just 'keywords', I see that the blog now becomes a very powerful tool on the internet indeed.

The old saying used to be, that 'The pen is mightier than the sword', well these days 'the keyboard is definitely the king', but it still depends upon the calibre of the operator in both instances.

6 Mar., 2008: Legless time zone out in the cold

I am now actively involved with modifying my websites, but I still have to continue with my SEO work on a daily basis or my search engine rankings will fall, the SEO work takes up about six hours per day and I have a set routine that I run through. I find it much easier to work at night time, there are no distractions and I can think more clearly then. So I have now gotten myself into a routine where I just start to feel tired and my work for the night is just about complete at the time that the sun comes up here and everyone else here are just waking up and starting their day.

This has become my daily routine now and I am virtually living in my own time zone and it suits me. The only problem that I have with it, is that this year the weather here in Thailand seems to have changed completely, the evenings now are very cold and because where I am staying there are no walls, when the winds pass through they really accentuate the chill factor, so I have to wear a jumper and some gloves whilst I am working now and it is still quite cold at dawn when I go to bed, so I have to wrap up well in my blankets to get warm enough to sleep properly. It gets very warm during the day and when I wake up, usually around lunchtime, I have already thrown all of my blankets off me.

The one thing that helps me in this routine is the beer, I have a fridge next to my desk so that I can continually top-up easily whilst I am working, this helps me to fight the cold too

that's my excuse, Cheers!

4 Mar., 2008: True short stories - website modifications

My URL icon upgrades to my pages has forced me to take a look at my websites objectively again, something that I have not done for a very long time now. I have been so involved with my search engine SEO work, that I have not been modifying and taking care of my websites as I should have been doing. Now I see that all of my webpages need a complete revamp, so today I started with my Ex Post Facto true short stories index page and now I have to follow up and go through all of the pages on my websites and modify them, so I have my work cut out for me for a very long time now.

The modifications that I want to do, mainly involves graphic design of the backgrounds and that takes time come up with some new ideas and then hours of work for each graphic concerned. I have the time to do it at the moment, but in ten days time, I have to do my usual Thai visa trip, so I have to start planning that now too. So much for being legless and semi-retired.

3 Mar., 2008: Legless with graphic design and icons

I haven't posted anything on here for a few days, because I was so interested in creating icons for my URLs that I haven't had the time. One of the things that I really enjoy about computer work is graphic design, before I used to design websites for people and even company logos for some businesses , but it is something that I haven't done for a long time, before I became legless. So the last few days I have been happily creating icons for all of my webpages and deciding which icon works well for each page.

So this has kept me busy doing something that I enjoy, going through all of the pages on my websites, creating the logo and writing the html code to display them. All of my icons worked well and they display if you click a bookmark on any of the pages. I have many webpages and I have put a few of the icons above for you to see. So that is why I have been busy, I have just finished now and can get back to my blog again.

To my Legless Headquarters site

P.S. "I don't remember reading the small print when I signed on for this life, in fact, I don't remember signing on at all, I was probably legless then too! So seeing as I cannot resign, can we renegotiate the contract please?"

Ex Post Facto Blog - Legless Blog backup

The Legless Fool's Blog - Ian Reed / John McMiken